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Stay at Home Moms
ladies with first baby who went from work full time to SAHM....
I introduced myself awhile back.... looking forward to joining you ladies in a few months... EDD 5/30!
I am currently a nurse, and my schedule is INSANE, so I am very much looking forward to slowing down and refocusing priorities on my baby and husband..... but also freaking out.
I have no family support from my side..... my mom and the likes are all a bit insane.... but do have some support from my MIL. But, she is still my MIL and not sure I can call her in the middle of the night like some people can their own moms.
We live in an area where al I know are my coworkers, and while they are great ladies, I am still not crazy close with them.... but they are my only social network up here.....and will not be returning to work with them anyway!!!!
So, minimal family and social support, and really worried how my life will change sooooo drastically in the next few months with the minimal support....
Worried about little social interaction and intellectual stimulation from work.....
anyone else feel this way?? How did you handle it..... any tips to pass along?
I feel like it would be so different is I had friends/family close by to help and visit.... even just to socialize!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: ladies with first baby who went from work full time to SAHM....
First off, congrats!
I was in a similar situation. I had a few close (and awesome friend) and no family near by. I did my legwork before I had the baby and this is what I found.
My hospital ran a program called Beyond Birth where I could attend a once a week meeting with other parents of babies from birth to 4 months. From there, I met tons of mom's that have babies right around DS's age. We all kept in contact after the babies were too old. If we wanted to, we could do something everyday with one of them- we made an email list serve where we post ideas/questions and activities.
A lot of the libraries in my town and the surrounding towns offer not only story time, but baby play groups/tummytime/ music and movement classes (all free!) as well as parenting groups that meet once a month (La Leche League, Attachment Parenting, Baby Wearing, & Eco parenting).
My town doesn't have one, but within fifteen minutes of my house there are three different towns with amazing family centers.
The Jewish Day school near my house offers an infant/toddler/preschool music class once a week. You don't have to be Jewish to attend.
There is also Music Together, Kindermusic, & Gymboree (we don't have this one) where you can meet people.
Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it, from neighbors, your MIL, coworkers, new friends.
Bottom line, (at least for me), research and find out what is available in your area. The results may surprise you- I know they did for me!
A Pocket Full Of Dinosaurs
I am not a super social person to begin with, so I might not be the best person to answer this. We live 2.5 hours away from family and I can't think of a single time they have ever even offered to help. I am also not from the area we currently live in so it isn't like I have any friends from before DS. Our hospital set up baby groups for us and that is how I meet the few friends I have. We do things weekly with out LO and they are an awesome support network.
I normally have a weekly plan for what DS and I are going to do. We go to the gym 3 to 4 days a week. We do all of chores and errands together. I also try to have a theme for the week and find books at the library that go with the theme. If it is an animal we will go to the zoo to see the animal. Or if it is a history thing we go to the museum. We have memebership to the zoo and Henry Ford Museum/Greenfield Village, DS and spend a lot of time at both places. I would say I started doing this stuff around 8 months.
You will be amazed at how not bored you are. I feel like SAH have given DS and I a lot of opportunities. Last week we took a road trip to Florida to see family, we would of never been able to do that if I worked.
We live 9-10 hours from both of our families, so no local support here.
We've met tons of other parents through the nursery at church, I take DD to playgroups (with locals I know on thenest and from meetup.com) -- there are also Kindermusik classes, stroller exercise classes for you, swimming lessons, parks, library reading time and lots of ways for you to continue to get out and stay active with your LO.
I went from working full time to SAH also. I did have friends in the area but none who have babies or SAH. The first few months were tough. I finally decided to get out there and do things and it has made a HUGE difference. I found a mommy and baby yoga class and then I met a girl there who told me about a moms network the following day. The girls there told me about a meetup group and now I have tons of mommy friends and am happy SAH. I've found that my prior friends and I have little in common now but the new mom friends I have made are priceless at this point in my life. It was hard to initially get out there and meet people since I'm shy but I would highly recommend it. Try meetup.com for local moms groups, library storytime, mommy yoga/exercise.
I wouldn't worry about not being close to your mom -- I don't think you'll need help in the middle of the night. If you can trust your MIL to babysit, that's the thing that'll really help you out the most!
As far as the change of pace, I'd just make sure you're aware of it. I worked as an attorney before DD was born and was used to 12 hour plus days. Quite a transition. I thought I would LOVE it because I hated my job. And I do, but I also have had some trouble transitioning. Just be aware of it. And if you think you need to, talk to your doctor about PPD. It can happen to anyone, and a big life change like quitting your job on top of a big life change like having a baby is a lot.
As far as meeting people -- join a moms group (MOMS International or MOPS, or look on Yahoo Groups or Meetup), go to story time at your library or bookstore, go to classes (once baby is older). You'll also just see other moms out and about -- see if you can make friends with any of them!
Also, make an effort to keep up with your old friends. Just because you're not working with them doesn't mean you can't be friends!