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Postpartum Depression
sapphire angel
member
I don't think we are going to make it...
sapphire angel
member
FI and I are getting more and more distant. It upsets him when I tell him how bad I feel so I stopped telling him how horrible I feel. Then yesterday when I came home with a new medicine he seemed angry. Like maybe he thought everything was suddenly better because I wasn't saying anything.
I know he wants sex but I'm really not interested, not interested in cuddling or kissing either. I honestly don't know what to say to him anymore. I'm exhausted from only getting about 5-6 hours of sleep a day, trying to go back to work full time and also taking care of LO and the apartment. I'm hardly eating anything and what I get isn't healthy at all.
I also HATE the way we spelled LO's name. It looks silly and everyone says it wrong. The daycare calls her the wrong name, her grandfather calls her the wrong name. I want to file the paperwork to get it changed to the way I have wanted it spelled since October. FI really likes it the way it is now but finally said that if it helps my mental stability then we can do it. My mental stability? As if I didn't already feel like a nut job. I only agreed to that spelling to get all the freaking people out of my room and to get you to shut-up so I could sleep off the drugs from the c-section. YOU knew I was not capable of making decisions while drugged out and made those people go away!
I really wanted to spend my spring break with my family where I could have had more help with LO and not worry about keeping house but instead we ran all over the bloody city of Houston! And dragged LO with us. Uh, Hello! I'm recovering from major surgery you idiot! I was healing fine before spring break(two weeks ago) but now it seems like I'm getting more sore by the day. I've told him how tired I am but it just doesn't sink in.
What am I doing wrong? It's like nothing I do makes him happy anymore. I'm always doing the wrong thing and I'm honestly tired of trying to make it work with him..ugh, I think I'm going to end up at the counseling center by the end of the day...Any advice would be welcome
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Re: I don't think we are going to make it...
I think the only thing that you are doing 'wrong' is keeping everything to yourself. While your FI may not be the best one to talk to right now you should talk to someone!
Stop giving in to things just because you don't want people to think you're a nut job, stay strong - even though you may be a little 'off' right now - your feelings are still valid. GL.