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3rd Trimester
s/o visiting policy after baby....2nd time mommies
Is there anything with this that you did that you regret with the first one? We had certain visitation rules that I feel like we were being a$$y about. We were so adamant about having parents come one day and friends the next. When we were in the hospital though, I totally didn't feel the same way and didn't mind everyone and anyone coming. I think that for this time around, we'll have an open door policy. If I do feel differently, then I'll just tell people to come on a different day when they call. People were good about calling the first time around. Anyone plan on altering their visitors policy the second time around? I hate offending people.
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Re: s/o visiting policy after baby....2nd time mommies
Carter Robert 7.18.08 | Brynn Sophia 5.24.10 | Reid Joseph 9.10.12 | Emerson Mae 1.27.14
I was the same way!! I love having visitors and I honestly don't think we had a day alone during the whole first week or two.
we had a marathon visitation day after we decided to let people come. after 3 hours of chatting with people DH and I were both so exhausted. it was TERRIBLE!
now, with a toddler, when people come we hope they'll show as much attention to him as they do the baby. because we will need help tiring him out!
Last time we took visitors any time/day. this time i think we'll have a cut off at night and ask people to just come visit the next day or at home if they want to come up too late. we are older and more tired this time around!
plus the fewer visitors we have, the more we can hold/bond with the baby. i was amazed at how little we got to actually see ds in the hospital. the revolving door meant i only got to hold him when i was nursing and dh only held him after diaper changes before someone else was there to visit again.
Not a 2nd time mom but....
I loved having visitors at the hospital and I am sure I will have a bunch once the twins come home. The only problem I had was that I had visitors about 3 hours after my c-section and they kept on coming for hours. I was recovering and I had a traumautizing morning because of the emergency c-section. The one thing I would suggest is rest and take your time at first. Then, if you want visitors, let them come. Don't be afraid to ask them to leave, either.
But, those visitors helped occupy me and kept me happy, for the most part.
Same for me! I felt great though, and love visitors anyway, so having a baby was no different.
It was definitely easier to visit with folks at the hospital instead of at home where you are worried about the condition of your house and I hope that people do come to the hospital this time.
History - with first delivery, prior to going in, we asked/told my MIL and FIL that we didn't want visitors until I was out of the L&D room and in postpartum room. I also wanted to BF and bond a little first as a family and well, catch my breath. Well, apparently they told everyone that we didn't want any visitors so we were rather lonely. So my DH will be making the phone calls this time and letting folks know that we are open to visitors.
Reasoning for keeping MIL away is that when my nephew was born, she was in the room before they had even cleaned up the mess. She told EVERYONE about the mess (poor gal had a bm) and wouldn't leave when the nurses were helping her into the gauze panties and told all our family/friends about her hemorhoids and tearing! I did not want that experience!
Me too.
I don't have any rules when it comes to visitors. At home, I do like having a little notice before anyone besides family stops by, but thankfully our friends seem to understand that.
I feel this way. Once I'm in recovery and have had a shower, etc., anyone is welcome. I can always run them out if I get tired or need to nurse, lol.
I had an open door policy at the hospital last time and wouldn't change a thing this time around. I enjoyed hearing everyone tell me how gorgeous my baby was.
This.
we had an open door policy at the hospital and we will again this time around too. only thing i will let people know is that i dont want late night visitors only bc i remember with ds i had my aunts coming in around 8 pm and by that point i was so tired i wanted to kick everyone out! and i would honestly prefer that they come to the hospital instead of my house...the day i came home i had people wanting and coming over my house instead of visting me at the hospital and i hated it!! that wont be happening this time around at all!
I did not lay any "ground rules" for visitors last time and won't this time either. I loved having people come over, want to hold the baby, hang out with us, etc.
When I had DD I delivered at a hospital an hour away b/c I was working there at the time. Due to the drive, most of our visitors at the hospital back then were immediate family, and friends came later once we were home. Now this time I am delivering in town, so who knows who may show up? I don't have a problem with it.
Last time was my first time having a baby and thus my first time BFing. I wish that we could have had a bit of privacy while I was trying to BF, but as it was we have a room full of visitors while I was trying to learn AND trying to not expose myself to them. It would have been nice to have just been the three of us and the nurse/LC and I could have just whipped that boob out and not worried.
This time I know what I'm doing so that aspect doesn't matter.
Also this time the only things that we are doing different is:
1. banning my mother from visiting
2. Brittyn will be the first visitor to see her sister. Tim will go get her and we will spend a bit of time just the four of us before we allow others back.
Last time I had an open door policy and at one point there were eight adults and two children under the age of 2 in my hospital room. I got very overwhelmed and had my (now ex) husband ask them all to leave. This time I will have limits on how many visitors at once. Luckily though, we are delivering at a birth center and will be home 12 hours after we give birth, and I know my family and friends won't stop by our house unannounced, so it will be easier to control.
We have requested that our friends not come to the birth center. Since it's such a short stay, we just want time for us and our family.
We live a little over an hour from the closest relatives (ILs) so with DD we had that pillow of time anyway, but we also didn't tell anyone when I was in labor because we (more like I) wanted our privacy for the whole process. I didn't want people out in the waiting room waiting on me, and I wanted DH and I to be able to let everything sink in with our new little one as well.
A scheduled c-section this time and MIL will be watching DD so....I'm thinking I will ask everyone to hold off until at least the next day. Family and friends came at a slow trickle last time so it was nice and we were never overwhelmed. DH and I will try to keep it that way this time too. I guess I'm just one of those who wants to concentrate on the task at hand and think this is more of a personal thing for DH, DD, and I.
DH also said that his plan is to have the house empty by the time I come home from the hospital, which I truly appreciate.;)