Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

frustrated- please let me know what you think

my dd is 18 months on thursday. she is a very verbal kid who is excellent when she can play in her playroom,etc. she is an extremely high energy kid as well who screams,etc. when she doesnt get her way. anyway, yesterday we had her friend over  her age over for dinner with her parents. the girl was good . she sat there the whole sedar(jewish thing) and was occupied with food,coloring,etc. my dd sat for 10 minutes and then was screaming to get out. i was so discouraged b/c most of her little friends are very good in public- out to eat, in stores,etc. my dd screams in the shopping cart or in a restaurant after 10 minutes or so even with distracting her. i get upset but i dont know if they are just really good and my dd is the norm with her age.  i get worried that i am doing something wrong. my mom was saying most of my friends kids go to sleep at 630 so maybe she is not getting enough sleep. i dont think so b/c even though she goes to sleep late(830/9) she sleeps 12 hours with a 1-2 hour nap. any advice?
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Re: frustrated- please let me know what you think

  • Every kid is different at every age - your dd may be an angel at dinner in a few months and her friend will turn into a terror - you never know one day from the next! Cut yourself a break and don't compare kiddies!
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  • Maybe she's just more energetic than other kids at this age...my DD is relatively calm, but she doesn't like sitting in her highchair once she's finished eating or staying in the grocery cart too long without entertainment. We just recently started leaving her in the chair an extra few minutes, and letting her sit in it with books and coloring stuff...so that she gets used to sitting down for longer periods of time. For the grocery. cart, we let her hold some food, bring toys...and now we put her in the ones that they can "drive" if those are available. That seems to help...but for big shopping trips, dh goes too and he will take her walking around the store once she gets too bored/fussy being in the cart (she usually makes it until we're in the check out line).

    It doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong, IMO. Good luck.

  • i'm not sure it's anything your doing (i have no idea since i don't see you parent).  but some kids are more active, easily bored, etc.  they all have different temperaments. 

    dd is really good at dinners for the most part, but i credit that partly to the fact that she is mild mannered and partly to the fact that at home she can't get down until dinner is done  - as in everyone at the table is finished - at home we have the luxury of hearing her throw a fit (only has happened a few times).  also when we go out we take books, crayons, little thing of play dough.  that usually occupies her for longer dinners.  

    i'm sorry, but don't feel bad.  i really think it just depends on the child 99% of the time!

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  • My DD gets plenty of sleep at night, but she's much more like your daughter than your friends' kids.  She doesn't play with toys, she won't sit still to color, and she hates shopping carts & strollers.  My DD is only happy when she can run around and explore.  She'd also rather play with toys with other kids around--not by herself.  She's our little social butterfly.

    I'm not worried.  It is frustrating at times, but I also find DD's independent, feisty personality fun.  She's quite the ham.

  • It sounds like that is just your DD's personality.  My mil says that 80% of a kids behavior is already determined (she has a Master's in Early Education so I tend to believe what she says).  My DD is good natured, very loving but she gets LOUD when she does not get her way.  We are trying to work with her now as we know it will just get harder when she's older but she is a determined little one!  When we can tell that she's about to have a screaming fit or meltdown we try to distract her or redirect her.  In the past two days I have tried to get her attention and break her concentration on having the fit by saying her name in a calm tone and having her look at me.  She's so young so it's hard to "reason" with her but I refuse to give in to her tantrums or that's what she'll learn.  FWIW, my DD goes to bed at 8:30 or 9 and sleeps 12 hours a night and then takes a nap anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half.  I think she gets plenty of sleep - she does not fall asleep during car rides unless it's nap time (which is a good indicator that she's sleeping enough since we're in the car for a long period 3 days a week).  Have you tried distracting her with different activities or snacks? 
  • Both kids are normal.  Your DD sounds like my son.  He can't stand to sit still and fusses within 5-10 min of being confined.  We've all but given up on eating out at restaurants.  My cousin has a daughter 3 weeks younger than DS and she sits in one spot for hours.  It sounds like her sleep is fine - I just think its a personality difference.
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  • thanks for the advice! she is a great kid and  i will just deal with it:) she is def not an easy toddler but she is very funny and learns very well, has good manner in terms or please/thank u,etc. so i will have to deal with this:) thanks everyone!
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