Looks like I'm getting a divorce...

ChristyNCole · October 2008

any one know how much it cost??

I don't feel like typing the whole story b/c I can't stop crying.. but this is the message i just read between DH and his sisters BFF on the myspace.. theres a lot more to it but I can't make myself write it out..

Subject:

Squirrley

Body:

Holas Holas, hmmm, I am deciding between Say Anything or Heaven Knows Mr. Allison..then again I may start reading Twilight, it's a tough decision.. I did get my car washed finally, even though I hate it ha! You have an awesome car, very jealous of the FiT! That would awesome if we could ride around someday..just cruzin..listenin to music!

I really enjoy hanging out with you too! Tomorrow is Friday..yay! One more day of woooork. Lucky you, you have off hehe. I hope you have a good evening as well

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: cole
Date: Oct 2, 2008 6:42 PM

Hi hi, so what movie did you decide on?did ya get your car washed? Well have to go driving and listening to music someday!

I enjoy hanging out with you! Anyways, I'm gonna finish supernatural and take a shower.
Have a good evening!

Wan-naBe · October 2008

uh...i'm really sorry to hear this. it can vary from state to state. i don't get the message though. it's not really eyebrow-raising, but a you said, there's more to the story. probably wasn't really necessary to c&p it. but either way, good luck.

Jays_Princess · October 2008

Ask him first whats it all about.

breezee_bean · October 2008

I am so sorry you are going through this=(

kevschickee2 · October 2008

I am so sorry

have you talked to him about it yet?

DandelionMom · October 2008

(((hugs)))

Jays_Princess · October 2008

Well if there is more to the story then I'm sorry stay strong.

ChristyNCole · October 2008

Well more to the story is DH didn't come home Sat. night which wasnt a big deal until I found out that she was with him all night... yeah just found that out earlier..

kevschickee2 · October 2008

that son of a biotch. He stayed with her all nght? Unacceptable

Jays_Princess · October 2008

Girl you better confront him about it. Just ask him flat out whats this all about.

Wan-naBe · October 2008

okay, please don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure you aren't jumping to conclusions here? it IS possible for folks of the opposite sex to hang out on a platonic basis. have you talked to him? is there any other evidence of - anything? i just noticed your ticker, and you've got a lot on your plate right now.

PiperBride · October 2008

That sucks. My stomach hurts just thinking about what you're going through. You poor girl

Did you ask him about it? Why would he post something on myspace...so "out there" for everyone to see? If he really violated your relationship, would he post publically about it??

HUGS to you tonight...I am so sorry.

fireflymama · October 2008

Is it possible that some counseling might help? I am so sorry; what a horrible feeling. I'd be beside myself. (((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))

Jays_Princess · October 2008

Ditto wanna-be. But I wouldn't like my DH staying overnight with any girl accept his mother lol.

ChristyNCole · October 2008

Yeah he did - nothing happened (which I believe) but this isn't the first huge lies kind of like this he's told me and I really just can't trust him anymore at all- which is why the divorce.

championmama · October 2008

I am so sorry to hear this. I don't know how much it costs, but I see your 20w pregnant according to your siggy. A friend of mine went through this a few years ago here in KY, and had trouble filing, or getting the process completed/started until after the baby was born. You may start with your local county or court clerk. I'm not sure which.

You can try googling divorce or child custody in "your state".

My sister got divorced several years ago, her husband cheated on her, and they took care of it themselves, for less than $100. But, they didn't have children, and he was a first year medical student, so they had no assets. She took most of the wedding gifts and that was it.

good luck!

Jays_Princess · October 2008

Can you go somewhere to calm down and think about this.

Wan-naBe · October 2008

honestly, i think you're turning to divorce a bit too quickly here. you have too much at stake - this would have a huge effect on your family. if i were you, i would give marriage counseling a shot before throwing around the "d" word - i feel like i'd owe that to my family, at the very least.

PiperBride · October 2008

I totally understand that lies have destroyed your trust in him but I'm glad to hear that "nothing happened" when they were hanging out. That being said, since you are 20w, it would be worth it to me to give it a try in counseling to see if you can build some of that trust before you file for divorce. That sucks so much that he is shady like this but maybe with some professional intervention, it won't be a deal breaker. It's worth it for you to get counseling, even if you go alone, to help you get through this. Seriously, how painful

asned · October 2008

I know we haven't talked much...hellz you probably have no idea who I am...but I am soo sorry you have to even go through this. I think what's best is for the two of you to sit down and talk about what's going on. Right away. Don't wait another minute. You may think you know what's going on but maybe things aren't as they seem....or maybe they are. But you need to talk to him about.

I hope things go well and I will pray for you to stay strong and we will be here to be supportive.

asned · October 2008

And I ditto counselling.

kevschickee2 · October 2008

I agree with the pp about counseling maybe give it a try but I can see how it will be hard to trust hime either way

Andrewsgal · October 2008

I don't think you need to do anything right away, I think you really need to take some time to think abou this. I also think you are jumping to divorce really easy. You have one little one and one on the way who need two happy parents.

belle204 · October 2008

Sorry. Hope things work out. ((hugs))

justus4 · October 2008

Where there is no trust there is no marriage. Divorce will be hard, but it will be harder to sit at home and wonder where he is and who he is with. Get some counseling, but get it for you. I hope you have some friends and family who can help you out mentally and physically. All my Best.

sooosie · October 2008

(((HUGS)))

I obviously don't know the whole story but I have been through a divorce and it is hard. But my ex-DH cheated on me for sure, over and over, and came and confessed. To me that was it.

Sounds like nothing happened but yes, trust is vital to a relationship. I agree w/the others about talking it out and honest communication...and if need be, counseling.

Much luck no matter what you decide!

mgfit1 · October 2008

I guess you have to decide what you can tolerate. If he has lied and spent the night elsewhere (with another woman there) he obviously does not respect you. What would make him change and start respecting you? I am not pushing divorce by any means but would you want to think about his lies/behavior for the rest of your life? I had a friend that tried to do it...she could never get it out of her head. She ended up divorced. I am so sorry you are going through this. No one deserves to be treated that way. Take things one day at a time - one step at a time. Stay strong....HUGS!

kittycarr · October 2008

Wow honey. I am so sorry. If I knew any hit men, I'd hire one for you...

PoundCake · October 2008

I'm so sorry! Have you talked to him about this?

I agree with Justus-divorce is hard and especially being pg, but dealing with a cheating spouse and not having trust is much harder.

I'd talk to him first and go from there.

Brideofranken · October 2008

I agree with justus4- and I am so sorry about what you are dealing with. I hope that however you solve it, that you are happy soon.

I wish I could take ya out for a non-alcoholic cocktail ( ok I WISH it could be alcoholic, but we're both pregnant!)
I hope you have someone to confide in.

krub · October 2008

I'm so sorry you're going through this, especially with a young child and baby on the way. I also think some counseling for you would be a good idea. At the very least, just so that you have no regrets about whatever decision you make some day. GL!

LanaM · October 2008

{hugs}

MelandJeff · October 2008

Oh lord. I am so sorry. Your DH is a rotten POS right now. Have you asked him if he wants a divorce? Have you asked him whats going on between this girl?

I cant imagine. Please go see a therapist though, they can be sooo helpful. Try not to rush into anything quite yet...

grimesgirl · October 2008

I'm really sorry that you are going through this. It is extremely hard to deal with something like this.

I would suggest you visit survivinginfidelity.com. It is a wonderful website with many experienced and helpful people.

Please don't make any major decisions now. It is new and you are hurt. Please give it a bit of time and consider both individual and marriage counseling for you and your H.

Good luck with everything!

Punk*Mommy · October 2008

I'd kick him in the balls for not telling me that kind of stuff. If he hasn't been honest with you for a long time... well... I don't fault you.

Good luck sweetie.

Isabella T. · October 2008

I'm sorry to read that you're having to go through this emotional time while being pregnant. Is there someone in your life you can trust and confide in? Having someone to lean on right now would be very helpful. Best of luck to you...