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Northern California Babies
Hates diapers but won't sit on potty?
DD has decided she HATES diapers.She has been giving us little signs of moving towards potty training, so we got her a chair, just to introduce it as she became ready. Generally, she likes the chair. To sit on the top of (it has a lid), or stand on. Sit on the actual potty chair? No way. Not even with clothes on.
But, she wants to be potty trained. She's just missing a crucial step - going on the potty. She is telling us by patting her diaper when she goes potty or poop. She fights diaper changes like no other, and when I say if you want to wear big girl underwear, you have to start sitting on the potty - she'll go straight to her potty chair and sit ON it, but if I lift the lid to have her try sitting on the actual chair, it's a no go. Also hates the idea of sitting on the big toilet with her potty chair.
Do you think I need to get her a different chair?? Any other advice? I'm really in no rush but she's telling us in so many ways that she's ready to start potty training and we're already failing miserably.
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Re: Hates diapers but won't sit on potty?
I'm not a parent yet, and only helped potty train one child like 15 years ago. So take my thoughts with a huge grain of salt (because they may be worthless).
But, what if you removed the lid to the potty chair? That way she can't stand or sit on the lid anymore. Also, if you aren't already trying this, maybe be more precise in what you say. Instead of telling her she can wear big girl underwear if she "sits on the potty", say she needs "to go potty in the potty".
Also, don't take it as you're failing. She may be ready in the sense that she knows when she's pottying, and she knows she wants out of diapers. But she may not be quite ready to use the potty chair just yet. Perhaps she needs some more warming up to it? Maybe there's something about it that scares her? I'd guess that when she's fully ready, she'll go.
Mama's Clone - 07/18/12
Ah Katie, our kids are so very similar yet again. C started these shaninigans last fall. He doesn't protest the diaper itself, but was refusing to go to bed if he felt he needed to poop. And he patted his diaper every single time he peed. For us this meant a lot of time spent sitting around while he did his business (sometimes standing or crouching in "his" spot) until he told us with signs that he needed a new diaper.
We got him a potty at Ikea ($3 was about all I was willing to invest in this endeavor). He did not want to sit on it clothed or naked. We got him the Elmo Potty Time DVD a few months later. The next day he asked for his diaper to be taken off and pooped in his potty. He then looked at his poop in his potty seat and cried and refused to sit on it again for a week. We got him a new, more toilet like potty. He sits on it clothed when he gets up, when he has to go potty, etc, but refuses to put his naked butt on it even at bath time. Sometimes he even asks for toilet paper to wipe his bottom (after mimicking pooping sounds no less) and then wants to flush it.
I have no idea how to get there (potty trained) from here (bizarro potty awareness and resistance at the same freaking time). If you find the magic answer, let me know, mm kay? And in the meantime, know that you are not alone in having such a kid.
No, we really haven't tried anything. I'm not sure she's able to pull them down...I still help her get dressed (and by help, that means I dress her). We could try them and see what happens. Since her communication has been lacking, I really thought we were a ways away from even thinking about PT. Which, we still could be, but I don't want to not encourage it if she's showing signs.
Although she and Charlie were separated at birth so I don't doubt we'll follow a similar path! ha!
Personally, I think 18mos is a bit young for full pt, though I know some kids are capable of it at that age.
Tyler showed a ton of interest around 18mos, then didn't want to bother. I let him lead and he didn't ask for the potty again until closer to 3 years old and never looked back!
Cami is now 2 1/2+ and began refusing diapers, I bought her a special (princess) potty chair that she loved for a week or so, then decided she preferred Ty's old chairs (Baby Bjorn - a.k.a. teddy bear potty). She was 99% house trained, never wore diapers while awake at home and had less than one accident per day. After 3 weeks of that she compeltely regressed and is back in diapers. I continue to offer the potty and talk to her about it. I'll reconsider more aggressive pt in a month or two if her attitude doesn't change.
Eve went through the exact same phase and to answer the obvious question, no, she's not PTed now. We introduced the potty and tried to move towards actively PTing. That led to resistance and to what I think was the beginning of her constipation issues. We stopped trying to PT all together.
In the meantime, we've had some potty success. She has peed on the potty once and pooped about four times, but never with any consistancy. In retrospect, I feel like 18 months was way too young for us to even begin introducing the potty and I wish we would've never started any potty talk when she started telling us that she was wet or dirty. I think a better way to go would've been to use that as a cue to start teaching skills that will need to be fully PTed: pulling down her pants, washing her hands by herself, wiping herself.
We got the Baby Bjorn potty and put it in the bathroom and didn't say a word about it. She was obsessed with it for about a week and demanded to be stripped down and sit on it at least 15 times a day (but didn't pee or poop in it). It was getting ridiculous so I was going to put it away but then she bumped her leg on it and was afraid to go near it for like a month. For the past month or so she's been into it again and it is part of the nightly routine--brush teeth, sit on the potty, bath. She pees in it 5 out of 7 nights (the other 2 times she tries, but I think just doesn't have to go). That is the extent of what I am willing to do right now because I have no interest in fully potty training her yet. I can't imagine how annoying it must be to be out in public and have to find them a bathroom. Ha.
She also insists that I pee on the big potty at the same time she goes on the little one.
Many friends recommend the 3 day potty training book (I can't remember what it's called, but it's the popular one). The author says the ideal age is 22 months and any trying younger than that could cause some set backs.
Very good point. I think we'll use these cues to start working on some of those skills now.
I knew I should have bought the Baby Bjorn! Ha! Maybe when we get closer to being ready I'll make the change. Sounds like just because she's showing signs of being ready doesn't mean she is - and her communication is still lacking quite a bit so I wasn't sure how it would even play out. I'll look into that book and maybe 22 months will be the right time for her.