SAHMs -- Did you take maternity leave?

august06mom · October 2008

Meaning, did you accept your company's maternity leave and then tell them you weren't coming back once it was over?

That grand old debate was on today's 1 Tri board, and I remember arguing about it when I was PG. Here's the link:

https://talk.thenestbaby.com/boards/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=56698700&MsdVisit=1

I'm a WAHM/WOHM mom, but before my company allowed me to WAH, I thought I was going to be a SAHM, or a part-timer. I wasn't sure what they would let me do, and I was expressly told that they would not talk about it until I returned from maternity leave. Basically, they didn't want to know if I was coming back or not -- they were going to assume I was until I told them otherwise once my leave ended.

W&J'sMommy · October 2008

Yep, that's what I did. I didn't want to lose my insurance. I felt bad, but MH insurance sucks and mine was great.

DevonPow · October 2008

No, I didn't. I let them know very early on that I would not be returning after the baby and set my leave date as a month before his due date.

I personally don't agree with taking maternity leave when you know 100% you are not coming back. However, I was on DH's insurance, etc. even before that and financially it did not make much of a difference. I can see how that would make more of a difference in the decision for others.

camrude · October 2008

I don't agree with taking leave if you know that you are not coming back. If enough people abuse the system, that very nice perk could go away, esp. now the many companies facing tougher times.

capemom · October 2008

I did, but it was in our contract that it was allowed (I was a teacher.) I was also put on bed rest for 5 weeks and was allowed to use my paid sick leave for that time. technically didn't have to let them know until shortly before he was born what my plans were, but my principal knew from the beginning that I wasn't coming back. I wouldn't have been fair to him or my students if I had left them waiting to find a permanent sub for the remainder of that school year.

happ17 · October 2008

Not a SAHM but butting in?some companies have the right to make you pay back the earnings during maternity leave if you don?t come back to work at all, or leave after a certain period of time (like coming back for 2-3 weeks and then quitting).

Javelina22 · October 2008

i thought that you get your maternity leave because you have already been working for your job, not because you are coming back. i had to work at my job for a year before i was eligable for maternity leave, then i went out and came back per diem, which i really didn't decide until i had the girls.

i think that if you KNOW that you aren't coming back you should let your company know, but i didn't think that you would loose your maternity benefits because of that, espically because it is hard to know what you are going to do with your job after having a baby.

Maybride2 · October 2008

i thought that you get your maternity leave because you have already been working for your job, not because you are coming back

That doesn't even make sense.

They hold your job and keep you on the payroll on the assumption that you ARE coming back.

Maternity leave isn't a perk that you earn from having worked at your job for a certain amount of time.....it's a good faith effort on behalf of the employer to accomodate an employee who decides to have a child and needs an extended time off to do so.

W&J'sMommy · October 2008

So I guess I'm the only unethical one? Oh well.

Sxia · October 2008

No, maternity leave is called disability. At least in California, it's paid through the state, SDI - state disability insurance. Either that, or maybe I didn't really have "maternity leave." I also had to use PFLA - Paid Family Leave Act, and that's where they hold your job.

JOEBunny · October 2008

I think people who tell their employers they are not coming back before they have the baby are shorting themselves.

I have seen situations where people planned to stay home, told their employer they were leaving, only to lose the baby at birth, have their DH's be layed off, or decide that staying home with an infant was not good for them or the baby.

You just don't know until you have the child in your arms what circumstances you will be in and to quit your job before your know to me is irresponsible as a parent.

I took a year leave of absence, I got paid for short term disability for 3 months, I also got 1/2 year of my bonus, which was a lot of money. If I had quit, I would not have received that money. I earned my bonus, I contributed for that portion of the year. I paid for short and long term disability for 12 years before I used it. If people think I don't deserve it, then they should look up the definition of insurance.

The other reason IMO you should not tell is because lots of moms get long term disability through their employer, it is virtually impossible to get that type of coverage as a SAHM. Giving birth carries with it one of the risk a woman of that age has of having a situation where you would need long term disability. I think to quit before you give birth and lose this coverage when you have the chance to have it is just crazy.

Employers will fire you for no reason at all. I once worked with a man who fired 2000 people because he did not want to move his family of 4 across the country. So people can think they are being all moral, but if you work in business, you should have understand that it is just business and as a company of one, you should maximize the value of your franchise and quitting before maternity leave doesn't do that.

aggielady · October 2008

Nope, you are not the only one...forgot who was

I told them I was coming back and knew there was not a chance in he!!. I freaking busted my butt at that place, and insurance screws you most of the time, so it was time for me to get something out of it. I agree though, a lot of places make you work a while before you get the benefit...mine didn't, but I still think you should take advantage of the free benefits for 3 months. Whoever says they did not is crazy to turn it down. But I am selfish.

Temp108743750006959 · October 2008

I did not but I would not have felt bad if I did.

divakat · October 2008

Yes, that's what I did. I went back to work for another company when DD was 10 mos. old. I didn't feel that guilty about doing that.

JOEBunny · October 2008

Absolutely, I took leave! I worked for 12 years, paying into a system and earning benefits. I was not about to lose my disability insurance just when I needed it most.

I honestly think those people who think it is dishonest are kidding themselves. No one really knows if they will go back or not. Your DH could lose his job or leave you, your baby could be still born, it could drive you bat crazy to be home, you just do not know, even if you think you do.

My favorite example is a woman who takes a job at another company after coming back or a person who takes a bonus and then leaves, which happens ALL THE TIME. Is that unethical too?

HisBetterHalf · October 2008

I was a teacher and saved up 12 weeks of sick time to use for maternity leave. Since I had saved the sick time I "deserved" to get paid. I'd have gotten paid if I had taken them as sick days over time so not much difference to me. I told my principal about 6 weeks through that I wasn't coming back so I didn't totally short hand her. I was able to get all my money anyway.

LittleMamaB · October 2008

Yes, but I did not leave the job on friendly terms after. They tried to force me to come back when my son six weeks old. I had told them originally eight weeks and I didn't even have childcare yet (they couldn't take Miles until eight weeks). I told them that I couldn't come back until eight weeks or not come back at all. We agreed that it would be best if I didn't come back. They were _assholes anyway. At least I had insurance to pay my hospital bills.

Ashley&Bryan · October 2008

I've got to play this game as well. It does NOT make financial sense for me to put 2 kids in daycare, so I'm not planning on going back. However, I need health insurance for the birth/hospital stay. That's just the way the cookie crumbles IMO. You have to do what you have to do.

praline · October 2008

Listen I think companies make this hard on people sometimes, but in general I think if you know 100% that you aren't coming back and you lead your employer to believe you are coming back that you are being dishonest.

For instance I took four months of leave. During that whole time my employer expected me to return, held my job, and took up the slack for me being gone. If they had known I wasn't coming back they could have hired someone else before I left, or while I was gone.

Employers do kind of make it hard on people though if a person accrues a lot of leave and then can't use it because they aren't coming back. I think in general though...if you've decided to SAH you've already decided you can make it on one income, and you've already gotten other insurance lined up...right?

I agree that deliberately deceiving your employer makes it tougher on all women.

praline · October 2008

I think Joebunny brings up some good ways employers do kind of tie women's hands when having a baby. They almost invite you to be slightly less than forthright, by not being flexible themselves.

It would be better if people could keep dialogue open during maternity leave. This can be a tough situation. On the other hand saying you will come back and letting your employer believe that during an entire maternity leave doesn't seem fair either, and I think it makes employers more reluctant to offer generous leave packages (which are usually offered as an incentive for employee loyalty).

ChicagoBaby · October 2008

I didn't..but that's mostly because my company had a policy that you had to come back to work for 6 months before they paid you out the leave pay--which was pretty crappy..60% of your pay for 2 months and 1 month unpaid. Also, if you kept the insurance and then left you had to pay them something, i think-but I don't know how they calculated that.

I considered going on leave--they offered to hold my position for a year of unpaid leave. (This was a large retail company, so there were plenty of "my positions"). I didn't take them up on it, because I figured back that if I decided that I wanted to come back within a year, they would hire me back anyways, and I really didn't want to lead them on because I had no intentions of coming back. Actually, I ended up leaving 3 months before I had my DD to have some time to myself and travel before she came.

xnbride · October 2008

As the motto goes "don't burn bridges" I think it is not only unethical to NOT disclose the possibility that you may not be returning, but just plain stupid-- people can see through it in a flash. Yeah, you may get away with it and enginer a way to maximize your leave and insurance benefits in the short term, but ultimately you are screwing yourself in the long run. Those are the people who you may need to call upon in the future when you reenter the workforce, network or provide references and it is not wise to leave a bitter taste in their mouths. The way you exit an organization is the last impression they have of you, which ultimately becomes the only impression: make it a good one!

lollitots · October 2008

I did and I wasn't even employed with the company. They laid me off whem I was pregnant but I still got the disability pay.

Alexandra*sMom · October 2008

No, but I didn't SAH until DD1 was 18 mo.

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