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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Opinions RE: #2 birth
Ok, I know you can't answer this for me, but I could use some feedback. TIA!
Ok, I'm going to be giving birth in August to my second baby. I'm having issues as to whether I should deliver him vaginally. My mother couldn't deliver vaginally because of her small pelvic opening. I went in knowing this with DD and I feel like I paid for it. I badly wanted a vaginal birth, and I did get one. DD had her umbillical cord looped over her shoulder and she got caught behind my pubic bone too. I pushed for nearly 2 hours. When she finally came out, her umbillical cord ruptured and she lost a lot of blood. She also had a fluid pocket on the side of her head from being trapped there so long. She spent a good portion of the hospital stay in the nursery. They wouldn't let her be in the room with us while we were sleeping. The whole hospital stay was a huge disappointment because I felt like a failure. I knew that the cord was looped over her shoulder(from u/s), and I knew that I could have pelvic bone issues, but I opted for a vaginal birth anyway.
I'm terrified that this will happen again. I loved the experience of a vaginal birth, and if I knew there would be no problems, I would absolutely do it all again. I'm completely 100% terrified of a C-Section. Not of the surgery part, but not being able to feel my body, and being trapped. That was another problem with DDs birth. I got an epidural, and I was panicking the whole time because I couldn't move and I couldn't feel my legs. It was so scary for me, and getting it is not something I'd do again if I don't have to.
I guess my problem is I'm scared of both ways, and I don't know which way to go with it. I look forward to the birthing experience again, but I'm so much more nervous than I was with DD.
What are your opinions? Which way should I go?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Opinions RE: #2 birth
I would talk to your doctor about this!
I didn't have a bad experience so its so easy for me to say "go vag!" I was more scared of the c-section.
but if scheduling a c-section is going to make you worry less and take stress off of you and the baby, you would enjoy your pregnancy and hospital stay more. I would consider that!
honestly, my opinion is, talk to your doctor!!!!
for one thing, i don't feel that a doctor would have let you have a vaginal birth(knowing your problems) unless they didn't feel it was an option for you. if they felt a c-section would have been better i'm sure they would have told you this.
(did they? and you refused?) if that's the case then my response is that you shouldn't get caught up in the drama of HAVING to have a vag birth.... c-section or not, the important thing is to have a healthy baby, and you should trust your doc on whether a vag or c-section birth would be better for you next time around.
I had an unplanned c-section, and it really wasn't all that bad. I was only numb for a little while - just long enough for them to get Miles out and close me back up. Once he was born, I didn't really notice much of anything except how perfect my son was.
That being said, the only thing I didn't like about the experience was having to wait to hold him until I could feel my arms again. By the time that happened (honestly not all that long), Miles had been taken to the NICU for tests (his blood sugar was low). I didn't actually get to hold him until he was about an hour and a half old. DH stayed with him the whole time, though, so at least they got a chance to bond.
Is your OB recommending a C-section?
I had an emergency C-section (cord was wrapped around his neck and his heart rate dropped every time I had a contraction). I absolutely did NOT want a C-section but when they told me I needed it, I was very chill (maybe it was the epidural, haha). It was absolutely no big deal.
I know it looks bad because of the way you're kind of strapped down there, but that's the last thing you're thinking of at the time. They had a sheet up below my neck so my husband and I couldn't see anything until they were getting ready to take the baby out, and then they told him to stand up and take some pictures. I'm sad that I didn't have that moment at birth of seeing him come out or my husband cutting the cord or anything, but overall, it was no biggie.
I was able to hug my baby and we took lots of pictures, and then I went into recovery (a big fog). And you get an extra day in the hospital for a C-section, which was nice. :-) My physical recovery was really easy for the most part, too.
So it's not ideal but if you need one for health reasons, it's definitely not worth being terrified. I don't even think I was numb for that long (at least not that I was conscious of).
I'm sorry you had such a traumatic experience. Fortunately, though, things like that happening are quite rare.
I can definitely see how you'd be torn on how to deliver, but you do need to consider that statistically, a c-section is a riskier procedure than a vaginal birth. You've already given birth once- and fairly recently, at that- so your body is sort "primed" and will remember what to do.
A midwife might be a good choice for you because they tend to be more woman focused and less about "the procedure", and treating you as a person can make a huge difference in your experience.
Would you consider a drug free birth? Or perhaps not getting an epidural but maybe a combination of spinal and epidural analgesia (sometimes called a "walking epidural") which does not make you feel "deadened". The issue you may have with narcotics is that they could make you feel very out of control, which wouldnt help your situation.
I think what you need to do is talk to your Dr or midwife about your feelings and ask them to go over the benefits vs risks of each situation.
Personally? I'd do a lot of reading about empowered birth and try to become as confident and prepared as possible and then have a vaginal birth
how often are deliveries the exact same? never! so while it may be scary to think of something bad happening again the odds are very small that the same thing would happen again. what about switching hospitals? somewhere they would let you have more contact with your baby if something did happen. i drove almost an hour out of the way for a hospital like that!
that must really be tough for you though and im sorry you're having to deal with it. im a million percent terrified of a c-section and epidurals too! i would at least try for a vaginal birth and not just schedule a c-section based on what happened last time.
i agree totally with this! and you dont always have to trust a doctor just because he or she is a doctor.
Thank you for all the responses - they really help!
Of course I'll talk to my doctor about this. I have an appointment next week, and I plan to then. I definitely wouldn't be delivering with an OB this time if I didn't love mine so much. It was more the on call pedi and the nurses that made the hospital stay miserable. Lots of not telling us what we needed to know when we needed to know it, lots of supplementing despite telling us that they'd bring her to me when she needed to nurse, etc.
I would absolutely consider a drug free birth. I wanted to do that in the first place last time, and I did labor drug free for several hours in the hospital (after a few hours at home) before giving in and getting the epidural. It's not the being strapped down for the csection that scares me. It really was awful for me not to feel my body and not be able to move. I had to have DH roll me over multiple times because I couldn't do it myself. In the end, I had the doc turn off the epi so that I could lift my own legs to push and I was able to feel everything. So, I think I could go med free.
I wouldn't use narcotics. After I gave birth, DH went with DD, my OB sewed me up and left, and then all the nurses left after giving me Stadol. I was completely alone and was so drugged up and tired that I couldn't hardly function. That was even more scary. When I finally made them take me to see DD, I could hardly keep my eyes open. I remember very little from the rest of the night, and I hate that.
I guess I'll keep an eye on the u/s that I have to make sure where the umbilical cord is and just talk to my doc. If I knew there wouldn't be the same issues, I'd go vag again hands down.
Ok, thanks for the advice.
I agree that you should talk with your doctor, but honestly, c/s are not that bad. I went through 28 hours of labor before surgery, and if given the chance, I would have happily had that c/s about 10 hours in.
They will leave the straps pretty loose if you ask them to, but the velcro gives so much it wouldn't take much to break free anyway. Yes, you are numb, but there's so much going on you don't really have a chance to notice you can't feel anything. The worst part for me was just feeling ill from the drugs, but that went away after a bit and was probably more because I hadn't eaten in 30+ hours than the actual medication.
My recovery was great. If you do opt for surgery, get up and walking ASAP. Seriously, you won't really want to, but it will help so much. I was out of bed the evening of my surgery (c/s at about 1AM) and was walking (slowly and not far) the next day. The nurses all praised me and said they'd never seen anyone get up so soon, but I had heard on here that it was a good idea - and it was! I had no complications and apart from some constipation issues (as much my own fault as the surgery's) I felt pretty damn good within a week. Not marathon great, but enough to go out to eat and take short walks in the neighborhood.
Sorry, this is really long, I just wanted to let you know that surgery is not that scary and if it's the best for you and your LO, then it's nothing to be afraid of.
Mes Petit Choux
I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then. ~ Alice
I agree--talk about this to your doctor!!
As for the c-section, I had an emergency one and it wasn't bad at all. I didn't have an epidural, I had a spinal which only lasted for about 2 hours. By the time I was done in the recovery room I was able to feel my toes tingle. This time around I'm going to try to deliver vaginally but if I need another section then that's the way I'll go.
Definitely talk to your doctor.
I had a wonderful experience with my c/s. I can't even imagine delivering vaginally! And if you're scared either way . . . I'd probably lean toward the route that is safest for baby.
Hmm, well does your Dr. think that your DD getting caught behind your pelvic bone was due to you having a small pelvis or was it just a coincidence? If it was just coincidence and there aren't any cord issues (that you know of at least) this time I'd try for a vaginal birth again.
If you want to go sans epi, I HIGHLY recommend looking into the Bradley Method and taking classes. Being terrified of the epi is why I first looked into natural childbirth. I had a really bad experience with another medical procedure where I was supposed to be sedated, but wasn't. It was pretty traumatic for me and I needed to know that I could get through labor and delivery without having to rely on anything but myself (well, DH helped a lot too).
Even if I had ended up using medication I would still feel that the classes were invaluable. They taught DH and I how to work as a team throughout labor and delivery and also taught us the types of questions to ask throughout pregnancy, labor and delivery to ensure that we had the experience that we wanted.