how do you think the nest/bump has influenced your parenting?

alison43 · March 2010

I don't know why but I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

Honestly, I'm not sure I'd even be a mom yet had I not ventured over to TTTC at the beginning of this journey. I'd always said, "Oh, I'd take pills to get pg, but I'd never do shots. And IVF? That's crazy!" And a few short months later, found us at the beginning of our first IVF.

I thought CD'ing was nuts...I probably wouldn't be as "in" to babywearing as I am...I don't think I felt so strongly about breastfeeding beforehand...there are lots of thing I never thought about and probably wouldn't have crossed my mind if I wasn't here!

epphd · March 2010

I pretty much credit the nest/bump for helping me keep Sam alive

I also credit it for opening my eyes to CDing, The Happiest Baby on the Block, BFing tips and tricks - you know the basics of eating, sleeping, and pooping!

schmoodle · March 2010

I think there are positive influences as you mentioned, and agreed that knowing what I know from the TTTC board helped me achieve a pregnancy and live baby (I only had a 5 day transfer because I asked)...but I also see negative influences unfortunately - which may just be me. But I don't think I would worry as much about his sleep if I wasn't reading daily about how other kids sleep or about how people are sleep training, about different sleep books. I'd never have heard of a sleep book if not for the Bump and those things are the bane of my existence. It's also made me worry about all the bad things that can happen since I read about them on here.

That's all worth it though for the support I get from this board.

alchris · March 2010

TTC -- COMPLETELY. I'm sure I wouldn't have DD if it weren't for what I learned here. And I wouldn't be having surgery tomorrow were it not for the Nest either!

Parenting -- I don't think so. That's in large part since most of the parenting discussions here involve children younger than Kira. When she was a baby all of the posts were about pregnancy, and so on and so on! Maybe if we get further into potty training I'll have questions for folks who have BTDT.

LMK8605 · March 2010

I agree about the sleep woes..but then again, if it wasn't here I'm sure I would be googling it somewhere else.

I agree about the TTTC - I don't think I would have made it through those 2 years if I hadn't seen stories about women like me or seen BFPs on the TTTC board.

LucyPevensie · March 2010

I actually think it's made me a better parent .. made me question some things I might not have questioned - made me look more closely at what REALLY matters to me (and what I roll my eyes at, ha ha!) Helped me get through EP'ing for 6 months - never would have happened without this place (I wouldn't even have known that was possible or how to begin.) Helped me spot my son's plagiocephaly and get him to a specialist even though pedi blew me off. And ironically being part of this community has helped me become more confident and LESS in need of advice .. I've grown and trust my own instincts more; and the very different women and very different parenting styles I have the opportunity to read and learn about here have been a part of that.

(ETA: Oh yes - and T-TTC? A HUGE factor in Jack even existing. Me, DH, RE and Epphd - that's who brought Jack into existence LOL!!)

RoxBride · March 2010

I think I've had both good and bad influences. I received a ton of great info as I went through my IVF - but it also made me overly quesiton what my RE was doing. I had to mind myself that no one knows better than a medical doctor who has all the information and all the training.

I also found myself worrying about things like the 4 month wakeful that never happened for us. Sometime I think I had too much information for my own good.

Also, I've found myself feeling guily over things I now know I shouldn't feel guilty about - like taking small measures to help my LO STTN, which worked out beautifully, but some people would question as being selfish.

GypsyEsq · March 2010

You guys are like my "village" (you know...it takes a village?). I don't agree with all of you but I certainly listen to all of you, or read the posts anyway. I'm exposed to so many different types of parenting styles (and back in the day IF treatments, RE protocols, pregnancy styles, birth and birthing) and I love it. I need it. I rely on it. Specifically I've learned a ton about breastfeeding and how to feel confident in my role as a BFing mom. I've learned so much about milestones and the timeline for them (I don't even read any parenting books anymore) and I've learned how to emulate you ladies who I think are doing a fantastic job. I love reading the toddler posts because it gives me an idea of what's to come. And considering I have no friends with babies and work in a field where it's best not to mention I'm a mom at all (or at least it feels like that sometimes), I need you guys. The Village of SAIFlandia.

howleyshell · March 2010

I'm from back in the days before there even was a TTTC board and factions were splitting off from TTGP onto yahoo and other sites. I spent most of my IF struggles on the Fertility Friend boards and owe so much to those wonderful ladies for educating me about treatment options/protocols, etc.

The list of things I've learned from BTDT Moms is way too long to enumerate (even for me).

It's so nice to be able to come and ask specific questions, to stumble across great tips that I wouldn't have even thought to ask about or even just brainstorm a challenge.

I can't imagine parenting without all the wonderful ladies here to guide me!

It would be a very lonely journey indeed.

SeaSoul · March 2010

I'm going to go the opposite route and say I think it has made me a much more anxious parent than I would otherwise be. I know so much more about what could go wrong (with babies as well as pregnancy) than I otherwise would, and sometimes I think it might be better if I didn't know all of that. Because I can be a little obsessive about times, and that's not healthy.

LVBlvd · March 2010

I love all the support I get here, both as a parent and as someone who was TTC again. However, like some above has said, it has made me nervous. I was a wreck during my pregnancy about stillbirth, fetal movements, and pre-term labor. Things that I wouldn't have thought too much about had I not heard horrible stories here.

Every time I tell DH a sad story I hear on here (like Nina&Matt), he says - I really wish you would just stop reading that stuff!!

But like I said- I wouldn't trade the support and advice I get.

madhatter2003 · March 2010

A little bit of both. With DD I was much more uptight when I was on here....there was (and still is on the other boards) the pressure to be this 'perfect' mother or you'd get flamed to high heaven.

I think somewhere along the line I stopped caring and started using this more for support/specific advice. I love coming on when I have a question or giving tips, but I've definitely learned what works for me may not work for someone else, and vice versa....and that is ok. I don't need to be a mom like everyone else, I need to be the mom that works for MY kids.

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