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THIS is Why I'm in a Piissy Mood:
AF is here. I don't like her. She's not pleasant.
DH has been sick. Like, he's on his 2nd round of antibiotics in 3 weeks. I don't want what he has. Being sick is not pleasant.
Since the whole swapping bodily fluids leads to sharing the yuckies, I have expressed no desire in anything that will lead to me getting his yuckies.
Instead, I've hung out with him, a ton. I worked on his layout for him. Made him the curtains he wants. Pet him to sleep. Snuggled in the mornings. Rubbed his back. Popped his aching ears. You get the picture.
So today, after a really pleasant 5 day break, he makes the comment on his way out the door that I have wanted nothing to do with him for 3 weeks. I argued and pointed out everything I have done with him. Then he made a crack at the fact that I haven't shaved my legs in awhile. Why don't I take the time to look good for him anymore? he wants to know.
I had had it. So I told him to lose some weight and look good for me like he used to, & then I'll shave my legs.
I know I hit under the belt. & I feel a little bad. But I think he had it comming. It's not about looking good for me now. It's about taking care of himself so that he's alive to grow old with me.
I haven't said ANYTHING about his weight before. I learned from one mistake many many years ago, when he said how much they were working out at the acadamy, & I said that I hear really buff guys are great in bed. It really hurt his feelings, so I have never mentioned his weight again.
Until today.
Why couldn't he just give me kiss goodbye like normal???
*huff*sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*
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Re: THIS is Why I'm in a Piissy Mood:
Really? He scolded you for not shaving your legs? Really? Really.
That's entirely unacceptable.
Had he eaten yet, perchance?
I doubt it. He and Saxton were snuggled in our bed asleep when I got home at 11:15 this morning (I took Xavian to an appt).
Either way, I'm annoyed with him. And running on lack of sleep, because his congestion has lead to some intense snoring. Which is rough, when you're used to sleeping by yourself in peace & quiet.
This. I don't think you hit below the belt under the circumstances. Tit for tat, as it were.
With a side of Icy Hot.
ugh. I hate it when men equate intimacy/spending time together with sex only. I feel you on this one.
Last time we had one of these discussions, I told him he needs to say nice things to me sometimes - tell me I look good, whatever, because I REALLY need to hear it.
((hugs))
Totally justified IMO. He took a crack at you, you took one at him. Doesn't mean you both shouldn't apologize, but I'd wait until he did before I did!
one rule i try to remember in conversations between DH and I: one nasty comment + a nasty reply/comment = two hurt and angry people.
i agree he was being a silly man, but weight is a very touchy and personal issue. (i know because i am overweight and struggle with it a lot) One small thoughtless comment from DH about my weight will resonate in my hurt feelings for years.
I would write him a heartfelt note of apology. You can explain why you are concerned about his weight (not aesthetics, but health/longevity), but start out and make the main point that you are sorry if you hurt his feelings. Maybe men aren't as sensitive about it, but I think deep down they probably are.
I try to be as understanding, patient, and sympathetic as I would like my spouse to be. It is not easy, I am not perfect, but I don't think that "an eye for an eye" tactics do anyone any good.