Asking someone to help by donating money to shower?

KT3 · March 2010

My mom and sisters are throwing me my baby shower. We included my mother in law as a host too (on invite) because she said that she didn't have many people to invite and that she would rather just invite the few to my mom's shower for me (Her guest list included 16 people). I told DH that it would have been perfectly fine with me if his mom wanted to throw me a shower of about 15 people at her house, and we just opened gifts and ate a Costco cake. My mom invited about 70 people to the shower (Yes the shower is huge). My MIL keeps telling me and my mom to let her know what she can do to help out with the shower, and that she is going out of town for 2 week, so let her know before then. Well we aren't really doing too many games, and we aren't making favors, so there really isn't anything that we need her to do other then to contribute something financially. I should note that MIL has never thrown a shower and at my bridal shower that my mom gave, MIL had about 25 guests at the shower. For the bridal shower, my mom thought that MIL should have at least paid for her guests or bought the cake or something. But she didn't do anything other then offer to help. What is a tactful way of asking MIL to help out financially with the shower? That is the way she can help.

K.a.T.e · March 2010

Put her in charge of the cake. Let her know how many people are coming and let her order and pay for it.

RoxyLynn · March 2010

This is between your mother and your MIL. Stay out of it and let them handle it; the guest of honor shouldn't be handling these details for her own shower.

ak1234 · March 2010

I actually would combine both pps advice. This IS between the hostesses. Suggest that your mom ask your MIL to be responsible for the cake.

MrsMommyQ · March 2010

ak1234:
I actually would combine both pps advice. This IS between the hostesses. Suggest that your mom ask your MIL to be responsible for the cake.

I agree. It's hard to ask for money specifically, but your mom can and should call her and ask her to contribute certain items--i.e. the cake, paper products, balloons or other decorations, all the soft drinks/water, etc.

EastCoastBride · March 2010

In asking what she can "do", she might be thinking about what she can contribute - including money. Maybe your mom can suggest the cake "or if you'd rather just contribute some money towards the whole thing"

northtamarack · March 2010

EastCoastBride:
In asking what she can "do", she might be thinking about what she can contribute - including money. Maybe your mom can suggest the cake "or if you'd rather just contribute some money towards the whole thing"

This is was thinking as well.

mysticporter · March 2010

I'd leave it between the hosts. I'd suggest to your mom (since it seems like she has asked) to do what the others have said about giving her something specific that she can plan and pay for. I think it's tactless if they don't include her in any of the planning and just ask for money, if she is offering to help and they want to engage her they should involve her with plans, as well, or turn over part of it (like the cake) to her entirely.

Asking someone to help by donating money to shower?

Re: Asking someone to help by donating money to shower?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards