Q re fathers

Phantomgirl · March 2010

How spontaneous is the father of your child/children or your partner to his children? Does he go out of his way to see the kids? Does he want to spend extra time with them? Does he have a good bond with the kids?

If he had free time and he knew he could see the kids would he choose to?

Honestly I feel that my Fi sticks to the CO and that is it.

mom2one · March 2010

Ex follows the CO pretty strictly as far as the amount of time (less than 15%) but we are flexible with the schedule.

ETA: I have talked before about the lack of bond between Ex and DS...so I have to say that little effort has been made by ex and it shows.

luckyangel · March 2010

We used to do A LOT of extra visitation. Almost every weekend for 4 months straight we had the kids an extra day. Any chance we got to have extra time with them-we took it!

odear · March 2010

DH definitely does extra when he can. We are all very flexible with the visitation schedule though.

ScissorTailedFlycatcher · March 2010

We mostly see them extra when bm has to work. It is typically her request. Other than that, we stick to the CO. Much of that reason is because we try to encourage BM to see them as much as possible.

NikkiJ19 · March 2010

DH has a close bond with his kids. We get them extra and see them a lot for sports/school activities. Since the kids are older now 9, 10, 11, and 14 he is way more spontaneous. If we are doing something they would like he calls them up to see if they want to come. He never did that when they were little.

hterry85 · March 2010

SS is with us any extra chance we can get. Sometimes BM is super flexible, and other times she sticks to the CO to a T. She seems to go through phases...

LorelaiOctoberBride · March 2010

DH will go see them whenever he can. If he gets asked to have them another night/wkend-he will always take it. He loves his kids and they seem to have a flexible set-up.

flippy1234 · March 2010

He has full custody, but even when it was supposed to be 50/50 the kids were w/ him more. He goes above and beyond for his kids and tehy are very close w/ him

Kyah · March 2010

For the most part he sticks to the CO, but they are flexible with the schedule. If BM wants weekend time DH will switch days with her. Also, we take SS any extra time that BM offers.

DH is very bonded with SS. When they hashed out the parenting plan DH fought very hard for as much physical custody as possible. BM agreed in mediation and that is imo why we have SS so often rather than the standard EoW.

curlilocks1207 · March 2010

We do a lot of extra visitation. Honestly, I don't really know how much DH would do if I didn't suggest it. He doesn't usually think of it on his own, but is always glad he did it and feels lame for not being the one to think of it. We try to include the boys in any cool family things we are doing. DH gets a lot of random days off work for holidays that most employers don't recognize and he has always at least tried to get the boys for those days. Every time.

DREWLILY · March 2010

My DH sticks to the CO. He would love to see SD more, but anytime we have asked for any extra time with SD (like when family is in town or there is an event going on, etc), BM makes it into a huge deal and inevitably says no or tells DH he has to give up all his weekends for a month for the 4 hours he is asking her for. So he sticks to the CO because it's less drama. We have SD half the time, so that is a pretty good deal, considering some people get way less visitation time.

paris.inthe.spring · March 2010

They are pretty flexible with the CO. We had SS every weekend for 6 months, then we went back to EOW, then he won't come for a few in a row. H gets him every Wed. and is now picking him up from school at least 2 other days per week.
I would say that it's all pretty flexible. BM gets a bug up her hiney about something and either she pushes SS out the door, or she keeps him hidden-which usually only lasts two weeks or so.

Soon 2 B Mrs. Wells · March 2010

I don't have CO with my children's dads, so they stick with EOW except when they have "big plans" that exclude the children, then I get extra days.

DH sticks with his CO.

mommanurse · March 2010

My ex hasn't seen my kids in 3 years and has no plans on seeing them any time soon.

DH usually sticks to the CO but if there is something special going on he'll try to get the kids. BM won't always let him but he tries.

JohnNDeanna · March 2010

If we asked for 1 minute of extra time BM would throw a fit, call the cops, file contempt, etc. So the judge gave us all the extra time they have from school and she is choosing to ignore the judge.

CurlyQ284 · March 2010

We live far (10 hours, used to be 12 so that's a step in the right direction!). DH used to work for an airline and used to fly up for school events. We do schedule visits outside of the CO because it's in our CO that if DH is in their area and gives BM 48 hours notice, she has to allow him to see them. She would anyway though, she's cool. We went up there for New Years and spent 4 days with them.

If he had free time and knew he could see the kids, he would DEFINITELY choose too. The last time the CO was redone, he managed to get the judge to push the drop off time from 4pm to 6pm so he could have more time with them. He's taking unpaid leave from work during spring break. He's not as good when they aren't physically around us, he says he calls and they get bored talking to him (they're 7 and 8) and it hurts his feelings cause they'd rather play. But when it's in person, they're like three peas in a pod!

circe811 · March 2010

DH does extra time when we can. Actually, our current parenting time plan is a verbal agreement between him and BM so he can see SD weekly because the court order was drawn up when SD wasn't even a year so it's just EOW. BM's generally pretty flexible about extra time when we ask for it.

Littlejen22 · March 2010

When SD was younger and living with BM and we lived out of state, we would drive down from Boston to Philly every 3 weeks to see SD but whenever we did it more often which was most of the time, we would always get SD, never once went to NJ without getting her even though it added an extra 2 hours to the drive.

And obviously I am married to my kids father but the kids really are bonded to us equally because DH is so involved with them, my friends are always saying how their kids never cry for their father like mine do, lol.

JThomas221 · March 2010

We take every chance we get for extra time! BM is sorta BSC, so she offers extra time for a couple of weeks and then changes her mind and sticks to CO again. It KILLS us when she does that, but it's all a game to her. They can usually be flexible with the CO when they need to switch weekends though. BM was unusually accomodating for our wedding, and we will be the same for hers.

skyblonde · March 2010

DH picks the kids up from school Friday, they're with us all weekend and I send them off to school on Monday. He picks them up Wednesday night and I send them to school on Thursday. BM still asks us to watch them so she can go out on her nights and DH always says yes, even if we have plans. He is not as close to his older two (they're not biologically his, so maybe that makes a difference), but the youngest (5) is attached at the hip to him.

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