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Please tell me I'm not a Bad Mama...sleep

GenevievedGenevieved
in Eco-Friendly Family

Before we could hold DD until she was calm and almost asleep, put her down and she would go to sleep on her own. 

However now if we hold her she is uncomfortable, and is usually trying to interact with us.  So we have started putting her down calm but she usually ends of crying.  We go in often to check on her and rub her back or belly depending on if she is on her back or not. 

Before she goes to sleep we feed her (she is BF), change her diaper, read her a book or two, hold her for a few mins and put her down give nuk and blanket.  (she is covered with the blanket but likes to have part of it in her hands)

We do this every time she goes to sleep even for naps just not when she wakes at night she is fed and changed when she wakes at night and usually has no problems going back to sleep once we put her down give her, her nuk and blanket.

For naps during the day she sometimes goes right to sleep no crying at all.  Other times she will talk a little and have a few little cries.  When it is time to go to bed a night it is a total different ball game she always ends up crying and usually hard.  Sometimes she is quiet for the fist few mins we put her down but she always cries.  Bedtime can take anywhere from 30mins to a hour and it breaks my heart and I feel so horrible that there isn't anything I can do.  We go in to try and calm her but even if it works she starts crying as soon as we leave the room.

I feel like she is so young to be crying so much at bedtime but even if we stay in and calm her for a really long time she is trying to interact with us and not trying to go to sleep.

We try to get her down when she is sleepy but not over tired.  

Any suggestions?  I could use all the help I can get on this one because I feel so horrible about this I never thought I would be doing this with my own child. 

 

 

 

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Re: Please tell me I'm not a Bad Mama...sleep

  • Lotte134Lotte134
    Hmmm, how are you holding her?  I know for DS to get him sleepy it works a lot better to hold him on our shoulder and either rock in the chair or stand and sway rather than using the cradle hold because then he will try to interact.  Also maybe try sitting in her room with her as she's falling asleep.  You could sit next to her crib with a hand on her if that doesn't seem to stimulate her too much.  Otherwise you could try sitting across the room in a chair.  She may still cry, but at least she'd know you're there and you would probably feel a lot less guilty as well.
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  • vernabvernab member
    We are in the same boat.  You're not a bad mom!  I'll hold my son until he's asleep and when I put him in bed he wakes up and cries.  There isn't anything else we can do besides let him cry a little.  (Of course we feed him and change his diaper first.)  We check on him after a little bit if he's still crying or when he stops to make sure he's asleep.  I hate doing it but there really isn't anything else we can do. 
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  • GenevievedGenevieved

    The shoulder doesn't work very well I may try it again.  I may try sitting in there again in the past she has just tried to tell me stories.  The big thing about bed time is it is hit or miss.  The other night I was able to go in again after her crying for just a min or two and shh her to sleep by rubbing her belly and just shhing her and I slowly stepped out of the room.  However this doesn't always work. 

    I guess I just need to keep trying because i don't like letting her cry.

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  • GenevievedGenevieved

    imagevernab:
    We are in the same boat.  You're not a bad mom!  I'll hold my son until he's asleep and when I put him in bed he wakes up and cries.  There isn't anything else we can do besides let him cry a little.  (Of course we feed him and change his diaper first.)  We check on him after a little bit if he's still crying or when he stops to make sure he's asleep.  I hate doing it but there really isn't anything else we can do. 

     

    I'm glad I'm not the only one.  She use to do so well with bedtime but started having trouble after her dad went away on a mission trip to Haiti for 8 days and I took DD to visit my family.   When we first got home she would scream if DH tried to put her to sleep but would go to sleep fine for me.  So we started working on her going to sleep for DH and now we have a baby who will not let us hold her to calm her down and who will cry, like I stated in my first post.  Sometimes she will start to fuss when we go in her room at night.

     

     

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