Can I use the same name as my SIL?

Tulips21 · March 2010

Okay- I come from a very large family (i am the youngest of six). this will be the 14th grandchild for my parents. My brother named one of his daughters Kathryn. She is now 20 something and in her third year of university and she goes by Kat (or sometimes Kathryn). I was considering naming my daughter Katherine (but calling her Kate or Katie). My Mom thinks that this would be really complicated, but I think with a 20 year age gap, it would be much like naming a baby after an aunt or uncle.

what do you think? can I at least use it as a middle name?

Bashert628 · March 2010

I personally wouldn't. And if I were your SIL I would probably be peeved.

chantellio · March 2010

Have you asked your SIL or her daughter how they would feel about it? If they don't mind, then go for it if that's the name you really like.

akl0506 · March 2010

Can you just name your LO Kate? That'd be really cute. Or, ask your brother & his wife if they care. My sister is 20 and I can't imagine my parents giving a rat's rear if someone used her name...they are sort of past that, you know? Plus...no offense to you or your bro, but we are talking Katherine/Kathryn - a fairly common name, you know?

GL!

bobbyme · March 2010

I would personally try to pick a different name...unless, of course, you are naming her after her cousin, and your SIL knows this. Otherwise, IMO, I think it's best to pick a different name.

aimeelv · March 2010

Even with the large age gap, I don't think I'd use the same name as a first name. I'd have no hesitation to use it as a middle name though!

MrsBalletStar05 · March 2010

I have a similar family as you - I am the youngest of 6, this is my parent's 18th grandchild, and my child will have some cousins (my nieces and nephews) that are MUCH older than they are. Personally, I would not choose the same name. I just couldn't do it.

Ginlyn0 · March 2010

I wouldn't use it as a first name for sure. I think it would be kind of odd to have a cousin with the same first name and especially hard for grandparents.

DH gave his 2 boys (my stepsons) the same middle names as 2 of their cousins and that in itself is kind of annoying to me. Especially since DD and my stepdaughter also happen to have the same middle name (by coincidence). I'm so excited that this baby is not going to have the same middle name as anyone else in the family.

mrstarawalsh · March 2010

No, you can't use it. It can't be that hard to come up with an original name.

Tulips21 · March 2010

My Neice Kat is totally fine with it. We have always had a close relationship. I don't know about her Mom (my SIL) I think that her brother may have named his Daughter Katie (but maybe that is short for Kaitlyn).

The other name I was thinking of was Alexandra (and using lexi for short). But they also have a son name Alex.

Sept17.05Bride · March 2010

Bashert628:
I personally wouldn't. And if I were your SIL I would probably be peeved.

Ditto.

raeface · March 2010

I disagree with all the pps. DH has a large family and there are 2 Katherines (both go by Katie) and 2 Michaels (both go by Mike) it is not a big deal. Everyone can figure out which one we mean with little effort.

You can name your daughter whatever you want. If you like the name (it is fairly popular) use it. No one really has a right to get up set about it.

vegandy · March 2010

No I def would not use it. Regardless of the age gap, it's still her first name.

BNBB08 · March 2010

I think that you should just ask your cousin. It really isn't a big deal and I'm surprised the PPs believe that it is. My parents named me the same name as my dad's brother's daughter, who is 16 years older than me. It just wasn't that big of a deal..still isn't.

BrittH05 · March 2010

Personally, I think it is fine. If they were close in the same age and you saw them all the time, then maybe not. But given the age span if t is the name you love i would use it.

CashewsMommy · March 2010

That's kind of hard to say. I could see if it was a cousin, but since it's your brother it's very different.... no matter the age/spelling/nickname difference. Is it a family name? That would be the only time i'd think it'd be ok.

Middle name, yes. First name, i wouldn't IMO.

Kelly-renee · March 2010

I have a 2nd or 3rd cousin the exact same age with the same first name, no one is offended by it, it's a very Irish name, and our family is very into naming kids Irish names.

Since your neice is cool with it go for it, I bet she's already told her mom about it anyways.

brennatay · March 2010

I guess I am in the minority when I say go for it. There is a large age gap and your niece is fine with it. Many people make their kids juniors so I don't see why this couldn't be like that. If we were having a boy, we were planning on naming him Dylan after my husband's brother and everyone seemed to think that was a cute idea. I say name your child whatever you would like.

joyfulgirl1 · March 2010

My cousin named her daughter my name. She asked me how I felt about it and I thought it was pretty cool. But, I would check with SIL first.

SeaMama · March 2010

My brother is Joseph and is 28, my cousin is Joseph and is 6 - no one cares. It feels to everyone like they are a different generation, when in reality my mom and her brother both named their kids the same thing.

Tulips21 · March 2010

I honestly didn't think it was a big deal. I just figured because people name their kids after aunt's uncle, grandparents etc. Why not a cousin? They will have different last names.... But if it is going to cause any issue in the family I will come up with something else.

Athena5692 · March 2010

I don't see any issues with it as long as you run it by your brother, his wife, and their daughter. Madeline is a family name, and I asked my aunt and cousin, and they thought it was the best thing since sliced bread.

lotsofbustles · March 2010

We have several repeat names in our family and it doesn't seem that wierd to me. We have a Steven and a Stephen, a Mary and a Mary Jean but, Mary Jean likes to go my Mary now so we have two Marys, we also have two Katherines(Kathy and Katie). The two Stevens are 2nd cousins( two of my cousins had boys and both liked the name) they are within a few years in terms of age, the Mary and Mary are first cousins, and the Kathy and Katie are aunt and niece. I think you should see if someone in the family will do some detective work and find out if it would bug your SIL and niece.

MCC1010 · March 2010

I don't see anything wrong with using the name. Your SIL does not have a copyright on the name. My son's first name is going to be Matthew, after his father. There are already four other Matthew's in my family. Oh well.

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