When To Tell People....

jessie92678@optimum.net · March 2010

I just found out last night that I am pregnant. I am only 5 days late on my period and I took one of those EPT tests to confirm. Is there a waiting period before you should tell people just to be safe? Should I make my doctor's appointment first before telling people? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

MrsVonKikabee · March 2010

Congratulations!

We told our immediate families soon after we found out. Since then, I have held off from telling most people until this week. We had our NT scan last week and saw a healthy little baby so I feel comfortable telling people now.

That and the fact that I LOOK pregnant now, so it was getting really hard to keep it a secret.

noah-bear · March 2010

No one can really give you advice on when to tell. With DS and our last pregnancy we told right away. This time, we're waiting as long as we can. I'd like to wait to 12 weeks, but with my bloat and this being my 3rd pregnancy (4th if you put in the chemical pregnancy) we have a feeling I wont make it past 10 or 11 without having to tell people.

ETA: Forgot to finish, Lol. Anyway. It's what you feel comfortable with on when you tell people. You can tell everyone or just a few. But just remember, it will spread fast.

faith194 · March 2010

Congrats. It is a really personal choice! We chose to tell our parents, and I told my siblings(only two of dh's siblings know, the others will find out later---it is complicated). We also have one couple we told, because we knew we'd love their support if anything happens, and during the first trimester when I need to complain about something(they have a one year old).

We will be telling my side of the family(aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandfather) at Easter lunch. I won't pass the wine test, and I am a horrible liar. I will be just about 10 weeks at that point(I've had two awesome u/s at 6 w and 7w).

Everyone else will wait until 13w. I may not even tell work until the end of the school year, after I sign the document about employment(right now, my position is in question due to the budget).

lilmgirl · March 2010

I have nothing to add but wanted to suggest to you to sign up under a different SN other than your email address. There are a lot of creepoids roaming the interwebz.

Griffya · March 2010

I just found out on Tuesday (4 days ago) and have already told several people - friends at church, DH's mom & sister, and a few close friends. We were going to tell my family too, but then got freaked out by some scary news - I was having some spotting, that I thought was getting worse, but then went away. Doc told me that about 1 in 5 women bleed, and half of those women go on to have miscarriages. On top of that, I have low progesterone, which could mean this pregnancy wasn't viable from the very beginning. The spotting stopping is a great sign, and I'm on a progesterone supplement now, but we're waiting for test results an an ultrasound on Monday to see if things are okay (hoping for hcg levels to have doubled!). So, we put telling people on hold for a bit. I wish we had waited until we had a better idea of our chances for keeping the baby. I have heard that once you hear the heartbeat, chances of miscarrying go down significantly. So, you might wait until 7 or 8 weeks when you have a heartbeat. Obviously, it's up to you, but this is how I feel after telling people too soon.

nic326 · March 2010

Yes, make your firts appointment regardless of whether you decide to tell and when. I waited until I was out of my first trimester to tell anyone that wasnt immediate family and I am doing the same this time.

moonfaerie · March 2010

We told family at 9 weeks last time, and I didn't tell work til 20 weeks because I was due for a raise and they wouldn't have given it to me had they known I would be taking maternity leave.

We haven't told anyone yet this time, though my bff saw my siggy on the bump so she caught me! (I didn't think we'd cross paths as she's on 0-3 months but I forgot about one post I made on our local board and wouldn't you know she read it.) I'm trying to wait until 10 weeks to tell the fam and I will tell work when I pop out and can't hide it anymore.

AshleyM51 · March 2010

Congratulations, and this is completely my personal opinion, but I am trying to wait as long as possible!!!! I was pregnant last fall and had a miscarriage, and my husband had told EVERYONE!

So there were people that had heard we were pregnant and we didn't see for months, asking when the baby was due and it was very awkward and uncomfortable, and completely our own fault. I hope everything goes flawlessly in your pregnancy, but this time we're keeping it a secret as long as we can.

Also, it seems like some people after you tell them just treat you like a uterus and not a person. And so I'm going to enjoy the secret with my husband and then we can have everyone talking only baby stuff with us after a few months. Sorry this is so long-winded, but I just did feel like I made a mistake last time, and do whatever is best for you and your family, but I just wanted to give you my reasoning on the subject!

Mrs. TLC · March 2010

we told bff and my parents right after BFP, but waited until we saw a healthy HB (yesterday) before telling others. still keeping it somewhat on the DL until after 1st tri, but if people find out, they find out. we are telling DH family at Easter simply b/c we want to tell them in person

Ive read once you see the HB chances of m/c go down to 2% and i'm pretty comfortable with those odds. we even heard our HB at 6w5d which the u/s tech said was rare, so makes me feel like we have a nice strong baby in there

juangela · March 2010

Close friends and family know - anyone we'd want to know if something went wrong. Everyone else will find out around 12-13 weeks.

According to my OB, 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Once you've seen the heartbeat, it drops down to 10%, then further once you are out of the first tri.

Do what you feel is right, there is no rule or law here, but just be prepared for uncomfortable conversations if things go wrong and you've told everyone.

Jinsy80 · March 2010

Immediate family? Soon, I'll tell my mom around 6 weeks, like I did the last time. I don't like telling the "general public", like work or neighbors, until after the first ultrasound. With the last baby, it was around 10-11 weeks.

Want a personalized experience?

When To Tell People....

Re: When To Tell People....

Choose Another Board

Search Boards