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Hello All

 Not sure if I should really be posting on this board or not. I am a proud mommy of a 3 yr old son and 4 wk old daughter. When I was 7 months pregnant, my husband informed me he was "not happy" anymore. He does have a drug problem that I have known about for almost a year now. We own a business and he has been staying overnight there since the beginning of December. He does come home every evening after work to shower, eat and see our son. He does bring me money every day so I can continue to pay our bills.

I was hysterical when he delivered this news and instantly fell into a depression. I was losing weight, severly dehydrated and in general, a mess. My doctor put me on Zoloft which has helped a lot, but I still ended up on total bedrest due to 3 rounds of preterm labor in mid January.

I am so hopeful we can work things out. In the time he's been "gone" though, he has had a relationship with another woman. It is over now. I feel like I am so stupid because I want things to work out between us SO bad. The man I know and fell in love with is not this man I see everyday. The drugs have changed him.

The past couple of weeks we have been doing some talking where it seems things may be on the way to being mended but we still have a lot of work to do. I am so afraid of being alone at times. I have been doing everything by myself for the past several months but at times I just feel so completely overwhelmed. When he does come home, he does nothiing to help out. He plays with our son and showers and then leaves. It breaks my heart everytime he walks out.

I know this is a very long and confusing post, and for that I am sorry. I am just looking for somewhere to unload a little. Anyone have a similar story? Or any suggestions for how to prepare myself for the fact that he may not come home? When we talk, he makes references to the future and us working things out, but then he totally pulls away from me again.