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Attachment Parenting
acia
member
My doctor's sleep advice
acia
member
So this morning at DD's checkup I asked the pediatrician if she had any advice to help her sleep better (she's usually up 7-10 times a night, and this has been going on for 3+ months). Here's her super awesome advice:
"Put her in her crib and let her cry for 20 minutes, and if she's not asleep by then, go in and calm her down, and then let her cry for another 20 minutes. Keep doing this until she falls asleep on her own."
Some other gems from the conversation:
"Babies sleep best away from their parents, in another room."
"Babies who sleep with their parents will have life-long sleep problems."
"You're teaching her bad sleep habits by responding to her throughout the night."
"She doesn't need to be fed at night."
"She's only waking up because you've taught her you will respond to her."
(And surprisingly, my pediatrician is not Dr. Ferber.)
Are there any doctors out there who actually give good (AP) sleep advice?
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Re: My doctor's sleep advice
Our pedi (who I normally love and who is generally pretty AP), gave us Ferber advice at like 3 months! I don't think most pedi's receive or take the time to learn much about sleeping and nutrition other than what AAP gives them.
That said, I can somewhat agree with a couple of her statements, at least in our situation (DS didn't sleep well at night until 10-11 months, and at 13.5 months does about 1/2 the time)... I DO think he was waking at night because I was feeing him and responding to him, and he didn't NEED to be fed at night. There was definitely a period of time where he was ready to sleep longer but I was going into him too quickly and actually waking him up more. Once I stopped that, he quickly and easily slept through those wakings (with a few nights of some back and forth from me and some minimal fussing, but not feeding).
Not saying this is true for you, but the last few things your pedi said could certainly be true. And wouldn't necessarily be anti-AP - you can respond to sleep problems in an AP way that helps your baby sleep better while also responding to them lovingly.
Yeah, I hear where you're coming from.... There is probably something to be said about being overly-responsive and accidentally interfering with their sleep. The thing with DD is that she has digestive issues/allergies/reflux, so it's hard to know when she wakes up what is going on for her, and I don't want to be unresponsive if she's genuinely hurting. She's also a "snacker" and likes to eat small meals frequently (I think because it hurts her tummy if she gets too full), so it's hard for me to know if she's hungry or not when she wakes up and hasn't eaten in a few hours.... It was surprising to me that, knowing all this, my pediatrician still responded the way she did!
I know exactly what you mean - DS had severe reflux, too. He got better around 8 months, and finally stopped the spitting up at about 1 year. Was on zantac for a bit early on when it was the worst. It really was hard to know when he was in pain vs. needing to maybe fuss a bit. I struggled with it, too. There was a point where I could tell a difference though- maybe it'll happen for you at some point when she starts feeling better!
Don't ask don't tell? I love my Dr (good with EBF, spreading out shots, delaying solid food, etc). BUT, when I said my 6 month old wasn't sleeping through the night she said the same thing to me! I don't know what it is with the sleep thing! So from now on, I say, "she sleeps fine." I don't tell her our 13 month old sleeps in our bed and enjoys an all you can drink breast milk buffet all night!
My pedi recommended 12 hours of sleep by 12 weeks of age and then said "take what you want from it. i wouldn't stop co-sleeping yet, either. the author doesn't like it but it's working for you. go for it."
our problem is afternoon sleeping, though. it's a quick read and has some good tips. it advocates letting the baby fuss/cry for no more than 5 minutes.
https://www.amazon.com/Twelve-Hours-Sleep-Weeks-Old/dp/B001I46S9O/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1269637203&sr=8-4
That isn't ferber though. Have you read his book? Its' actually great and only 3-4 pages is on crying. It goes into sleep cycles and why your baby may be waking so frequently. Has great info on toddler and even teen sleep.
7-10 times a night is a lot for a 7 month old. Jo was up about 15 x a night at that stage and we needed to do something. I bought the ferber book and never looked back. We did a very modified version which added massage and some serious night routines to get her ready. We also still responded to her at night but not with the breast every time.