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kittylove
member
Fat baby nicknames (possibly flameworthy)
kittylove
member
When Riley was little he was a chubby baby. My whole family called him things like chubby monkey, and we would play "give me sugar" when we would kiss the extra chub. Now that he is a toddler I have for the most part stopped the chubby nicknames, because I don't want him to develop a complex about his weight.
My neighbor on the other hand has a 3 yr old and still calls her butterball (even though her daughter is in the 5% percentile for weight), if she shows her belly says "too sexy" and makes her put her shirt down, and when she wants a cookie or ice cream tells her it will make her fat. Also they were at my house and the daughter couldn't fit in the baby swing and her mom told her she had thunder thighs. It all just upsets me and I know that is because I am sensitive about my weight. I realize this is kind of a double standard that what she says bothers me but it didn't when Riley was little.
What I want to know is do you think those baby nicknames like butterball, chubby monkey and rollie pollie should stop at some point so not to cause self esteem issues and if so when, OR am I just way to sensitive about this issue (if you think this is the case I can take it)?
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Re: Fat baby nicknames (possibly flameworthy)
first - WOW, about your neighbor.
second - hm, i don't see anything wrong with the baby nicknames, but i guess it does make sense to stop them at some point. unfortunately, in this day & age they can be misconstrued.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
I'm not worried about nicknames so much as I'd be worried about the mom telling the girl ice cream will make her fat, etc. Talk about setting up a bad relationship with food.
Of course, my kiddos nicknames don't have to do with weight (DD is little boo, DS is Wonka boy) so I guess that's why nicknames don't seem as big a deal.
If you are too sensitive, then I am too.
I do not like those nicknames, but I also do not like when people comment on Lincoln having "bird legs" ect.
To me a comment on my baby's weight/size is a judgment on my parenting/nutritional care.
I know that the older generations see a fat baby as a healthy one, but I just do not like the idea of the nicknames.
MH called Sophia "chubby checkers" because she was so much bigger than Lily at first. But after like 3 weeks, he decided he should stop because he didn't want that nickname to stick.
But I have been secretly calling her "bruiser" lately.
I think we'll stop all those kinds of nicknames soon, though, since they are girls.
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
I never thought about it, although I don't think you're being overly sensitive. Claire was the biggest baby that I know at 10, 5.7 oz but all of her nicknames were spins of her name, like Clairabelle. IMO, the nicknames are ok, but it's the comments like your neighbor makes that make it a problem. DH's nickname was Tank growing up. I seriously doubt that my ILS made negative comments in addition.
That's sad about your neighbor.
I'm kind of stumped to answer this and I realize why- it never occured to me to nn DS in a way that related to his weight. All his nn's are totally unrelated.
I guess I don't see the need to make it about weight, per se. And from that front, even if the nickname is "weight related", I would expect the nn to basicalyl disappear in time as probably most nn's eventually will as the child gets older and just outgrows the nn.
I think HOW the nn is used is key here. Like w/ your neighbor - her calling her DD butterball probably really is meant to be about her weight, were as I would imagine that someone w/o weight issues wouldn't be calling their kid that as much about weight as it's just a nn that they got hooked on. If that makes sense!
IF I had called my DS "chunkey monkey" as a little baby because of his baby fat, if I were calling him that now, it wouldn't be because of his weight. It would just be a nn. Then, in time, I would probably stop using it just because he's gotten too old for it.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Ummm.... what your neighbor is doing is basically verbal abuse. That little girl doesn't have a fighting chance at a healthy body image or good self esteem with a Mom calling her "thunder thighs" and telling her she'll be fat at the whopping age of 3.
As for us - we called Jace "Littles" for the longest time simply because he was the smaller child. DH and I are both vertically challenged. When I realized that Jace was trending towards the short end of the length chart I stopped calling him that because I think some day his height may be an issue and I don't want to be any part of negative associations for him.
I guess we stopped around the time he really started speaking. When he called himself "Littles" it gave me pause and it just naturally weaned off from there.
When getting their hair cut the other day a lady told me that Jace was going to be my "stocky" one and I just ended the conversation. I know they'll be compared and Dylan is shockingly tall considering his genetics but I certainly don't want Jace to get labeled as "stocky" by comparison.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
Here's something interesting to think about...
With Katen I had no problem calling her chubby nicknames until about a year old. Then we stopped so as not to create esteem issues.
Now... enter Ana the true Goddess of Chub rivaling baby sumo wrestlers everywhere at 18.5lbs. I actually hesitate to call her chubby because I don't want Katen to pick up on it.
A) I don't want Katen thinking it's okay to call people chubby and I don't want her continuing to call her sister chubby once she's old enough to understand - because she has a memory like an elephant you know.
IF Katen weren't around to hear it, I'd probably go on with the chubby little names though. It's hard not to. I mean there are rolls and rolls and her rolls have rolls...
Personally I have no problem with weight related nns for babies. I think fat babies are adorable and that a perfectly healthy baby can have rolls upon rolls. However, it's natural that they should start shedding the baby fat and slimming down as they get more physically active in the toddler years. To me, a very chubby toddler isn't cute, it's unhealthy and I'd worry about them starting a lifetime of weight issues. I've noticed with my DD, as her rolls disappeared we just stopped calling her a chubby monkey or whatever because it doesn't fit anymore. It wasn't so much conscious as a natural progression. Now DS is still very chubby. I think it's ok because he's still young, and we do still call him nns based on his weight. But if he stays fat well into his toddler years, I will start to look again at what and how much he eats and will definitely not think it's cute to call him nns about it.
As for that woman telling her daughter she is fat - that is sick, abusive, and almost certainly going to cause lifelong problems for that poor little girl. I think that's terrible and I feel so sorry for her. Even if she is overweight, the mother shouldn't talk about it but just teach her to eat well and be physically active. I mean, who doesn't know this? WTF is wrong with people?
This. I think nicknames, especially for babies, are normal. Elizabeth started out scrawny and was slow to gain weight, so we rejoiced when she started growing rolls! She's only in the 34th percentile in weight, but DH calls her Two-Ton and we both refer to her triple chins.
But we'll definitely stop before she's too much older. I went through a typical chunky stage in middle school and to this day, I can remember how crushed I felt when my dad made what he thought was an innocent comment about it.
we call DS chubs. of course, considering how small he was when he was born, i love the chubs.
plus, we also call him bub, big man, benny - the list goes on.
we call DD "peanut", which i guess could be construed as her being too small?
i'm not really worried about it now, and i'm sure we'll use these nicknames less and less as they get older.
My nn for Miles weren't related to his weight, but he was teeny at first and then chubbed up. So weight was never the first thing you thought about when you saw him. I did call him "Punkin' Head" and still do sometimes. Should I stop to not give him a complex about his head being giant (which it's not at all)? Probably. But I don't see it as a major issue, but then again it's not really weight related either, which is an entirely different can of worms.