If you had two about 2 yrs apart, I need a pep talk.

BerriGirl · March 2010

18 days. I will have two babies in 18 days. omg omg omg.

What's the hardest part? Give it to me straight. Tell me what's difficult, and then tell me how I'll figure it out and then tell me how great it is. Please. And don't tell me it's all roses, because I'll know you're lying.

punkfiction_v.3 · March 2010

hardest part? keeping the schedule for the first so their life isn't in some sort of hectic limbo. lol

but you'll figure it out. very quickly. bc bottom line - you have to, right? youre the mom. you gotta suck it up and figure it out

Amrice78 · March 2010

the adjustment of the older one to having another in the house was truly the most difficult, especially the first two weeks and especially during feeding times

Michael needed some extra love and attention from me (he was getting it from everybody else) and I couldn't pick him up because of the c/s

once I was able to focus on Michael again for 20-30 minutes at a time - without Joey, that got better

Michael loves Joseph now, but he's a little rough so I still have to watch him like a hawk

I freaked out right before Joseph was born, too - and then it really wasn't at all as bad as I thought it would be - the transition was actually quite easy for me

luna49 · March 2010

sfl.

And good luck

Sawyerplus1 · March 2010

I just had DD in January, and DS will turn 2 next week. I was really nervous too, especially when DH had to go back to work (he took a week off after DD's birth).?

My first observation: it was easier than I was expecting. DS didn't seem to mind having DD around too much. But most importantly, DD slept so much, like newborns do. So when she was sleeping I could just put her down and focus on DS, just like before.?

Doing both the night shift and the day shift was difficult though. I would nap when DS napped in the afternoons, or when DH got home. DD is now sleeping through the night, so it's not such a problem anymore.

Around week 6, however, DS must have realised DD was here to stay. That's when his jealousy really started. He screams at me anytime I feed DD or tend to her, and can't do whatever he wants me to do. Also, DD is much more alert and awake during the days now, so she requires more of my attention than before.

It is getting more difficult (DD is needy and doesnt like to be put down at all...it's tiring). But most importantly, we're surviving and I know we'll get through it!

I also have a great support system. DH is great with household things and/or the kids once he gets home, so I get a break. We also have great parents that can babysit DS if we need them too (I EBF DD so cant leave her behind). This helps a great deal.

It is difficult, but I've got 2 great kids that I love dearly!

Good luck. You'll be fine!?

?

adri77 · March 2010

Things were hard for me, b/c I don't have family in the area and a DH that was/is always home after the kids are asleep. So, in the beginning (well, the first 9-12 months) the hardest thing was the evenings. Making dinner/nursing/getting my DS1 fed, cleaning up from dinner/nursing, bathing DS1 and trying to be fair to him and keeping up with his bedtime routine while caring for a newborn, who wanted to nurse and was fussy in the evenings. Then, when I was really working on a nice, quiet, calming bedtime routine for the baby, who was an awful sleeper so I NEEDED to give him that calm bedtime routine, it was SO hard keeping DS1 calm and occupied and basically out of the room for a good 15 minutes so I could nurse the baby, read him a book in a quiet atmosphere. Next thing to impossible! I look back onto those days, and wonder how I did it!!!! But I did, and you will too!

What's great.....right around when DS2 turned 1, he started sleeping through the night. Made a world of difference. And they started playing together a couple of months ago (they are now 18 months and 3y 3m) and they really have a ball together. They crack eachother and me up all day! Evening/bedtime routines are a breeze now b/c they are on the same schedule. they nap at the same time during the day (SO important!). Things are just really feeling like they are coming together now. So much so, that we are thinking about #3 so we can mess things up all over again!!!!! GL! Enjoy it!

wellfleet04 · March 2010

Mine are 23 months apart. I found the first few months pretty easy. Ben slept reasonably well for a newborn, and Kate wasn't jealous. You realize with the second one that newborns sleep all.the.time. Seriously. I could not believe how busy I felt when I had just one newborn. What the heck was I doing?! While the baby sleeps, you play with the toddler. If you have help or family, pass the baby off to them when you're not nursing and focus on the toddler. Or have them take the toddler on super fun outings etc.

For us, it got a lot harder around 4 months when Ben needed to be on a schedule and could not longer be schleped around in the bucket seat to all of Kate's activities. We are a very on the go family, and neither Kate nor I were used to being home as much as Ben needed to sleep in his crib. We've adapted, and we do a lot more crafts etc now, but it was an adjustment.

It's also a little harder now that Ben is interactive and demands some attention, so Kate gets jealous. He also like to follow her around and mess up her toys, put them in his mouth, etc so that causes some issues. He adores her, though, and it is great to see them interacting.

GL! For me, the reality was not nearly as hard as I'd built it up in my mind. If they are both screaming, tend to the toddler because they will remember/know and the baby won't. Some days will be insane, so much screaming, poop, etc that you don't know what to do. But most days will be far better than that, and some days will be magical.

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If you had two about 2 yrs apart, I need a pep talk.

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