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South Florida Babies
Please thank your mothers and MILs!
To those of you who have mothers and MILs who are EVER helpful with your kids, who ever babysit them, whether at the drop of a hat or with plenty of warning, who ever offer to pick up something for you, who ever remind you of something you need to do for them, who ever cook for you, who ever can pitch in when something comes up unexpectedly:
Please take a moment to THANK THEM!
I am writing this as someone who was extremely close with her mother until the day she died and whose MIL died before we ever had kids. I am also writing this as someone who lives 1300 miles away from the nearest family.
This came upon me today b/c Spring Break for my kids' school started today at noon. Yes, on a Thursday at noon. What a PITA. So I worked three hours today. And I am still working out child care for next week (our first regular sitter has another obligation, our second sitter is going on vacation, and the second backup just got out of the hospital). My sister's kids in NJ, on the other hand, will be spending the week at my Dad's house and my brother (who is not working currently) will be watching them. I am really happy for her (and for her kids to have the close connection with extended family), but I am also wishing I had such an arrangement,and it's just not my life. We have certain limitations due to lack of easy childcare--I have limited my work time (and networking time), we just don't go out on dates, and I can't just drop the kids at my mom's to get a mani/pedi. And that's fine. I'm not really complaining. I love my life and I love my family. I just hope that those who have family close by (and let's face it, it's usually mom or MIL) really do appreciate what they have.
Tania
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Re: Please thank your mothers and MILs!
I agree with you 100%. DH and I don't have LO's just yet but our families are already telling us that they can't wait until we have kids so they can babysit. We are both the youngest in our families so everyone is anxiously waiting for us to start trying.
I personally receive so much help from my parents. We currently only have one car and my mom does me the favor of taking me to work every day, even on her days off. I am incredibly grateful for the help they give us. I don't know what I would do without my family.
My Blog: SIREN.ORG!
Well said! Even though I live an hour and a half from my family and they cannot do things at the drop of a hat for me - they do what they can. My mom is already working on taking a week off when my baby is born and a week off a few weeks later when my sister has her baby. My MIL is closer and is a big help when and if we need her. Its what family is for and we do not take it for granted. We have reason weekly to say out loud that we have a very good problem of too much family that wants to spend so much time with our kid. A very good problem to have.
I am sending you very big hugs and hope that your dilemma for spring break gets resolved.
I am sorry you are having a hard time and I totally understand, I hate when people are unappreciative of what they have. Unfortunately, neither my MIL and mother are involved in our lives. It's a shame, we didn't want it that way but that is the way they chose to be. It breaks my heart more than I care to admit it.
The thing that scares me the most about having the third baby, is who we are going to ask for help when I have my c-section! nothing else scares me.
I hope you find help for next week, if you were closer, I swear I would offer to watch them in a heart beat!
Oh Tania, I'm so sorry. You are right, we need to be thankful for those that love the little ones so much that want to spend a lot of time w/ them.
Hope you work out the babysitting for next week!
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
And don't forget the Dads and FILs!
My dad is retired, and while my parents don't live nearby, Dad will try to come down to help out when we know ahead of time that DH will be traveling out of town or something is coming up that we need a bit of help with. My ILs are fantastic about helping when we go up north to visit them and have also come down to help out occasion.
I hope that you're able to work everything out for next week. It really is hard to live so far away from family. That's one of the things that I love most about the Nest / the Bump. As the quote goes, "friends are the family you choose yourself."
I agree with you 100%! Although my parents can drive me crazy sometimes (see post from last week), I always appreciate everything they do for us. DH and I purposely bought our house close to my parents' house (we were looking in that area before TTC) because we knew that my mom would take care of the baby. It isn't even something that needs to be discussed, in our family it's just a given. My mom does so much for us and, although I complain about her sometimes, we never take her for granted. Both sets of parents and siblings help us out in so many ways that we know that our baby is going to have a lot of babysitters! Thank you for reminding us of what we have and I hope that you are able to resolve the babysitting situation for next week!
I hope that you are able to work out child care for next week! We are in the same boat. Both my parents and my husband's parents live in FL and we now live in Maryland. It is a 13 hour drive or 3 hour plane ride. We've been fortunate that we haven't had many issues so far, and when we have, my inlaws have hopped in a car to be here to help out. We are a little nervous as to what the future holds with 2 kids and no family to help out, but we'll keep doing the best we can.
Though I obviously don't have any LOs either, I don't know what I'd do without my parents. I am so thankful for them and all their support. They're just always there in a heartbeat whenever I need them. And my ILs are great too.
I hope your situation works itself out!
Right on, ladies!! I'm glad that this post was taken in the spirit in which it was meant and not as a huge complaint (which it's really not, I promise!). I sympathize (obviously) with those who are far from family or who have family that choose, sadly, not to be a part of your lives.
Thanks for the hopeful comments about next week. I have two possibilities left for next week,and one is looking really good!
You are so right. My dad is awesome and always offers to come down or help if we need anything. He also came for a week after my daughter's birth. FIL came for two weeks after Cedric's birth and washed dishes and cooked for us! And my sister is amazing, too. She managed to hop a flight while I was in labor with my 2nd to come in place of my mom and be here for the birth and stayed for a week, too!
I know I am blessed with a tight knit, incredibly helpful family, and I guess I'm just missing being near them since I know how much more enriched my kids' lives could be. And I miss being able to help them out, too.
Kudos to all of you and to your fabulous families, whether your "original" families or those you create!
Tania
BFP #3: 01/28/12, EDD: 09/23/12, MMC (BO), D&C 2/16/12 at 6.5 wks
BFP #4: 05/23/12, EDD: 01/31/12, Early MC at 5 wks
RPL Workup: + LPD (7DPO Prog = 7.8, Endometrial Bx = out of phase)
Elevated Alpha 2-glycoprotein IgA and antiphosphatidylserine IgM -->
Hematologist said not to worry and no need for treatment!
Dx: LPD
Cycle #1(08/2012): Clomid 50 mg CD3-7, Ovidrel CD13 + Progesterone = It worked!
BFP #5 on 09/10/12 (11 DPO). HCG #1 @ 14DPO = 131.6 HCG #2 @ 16DPO = 509
EDD: 05/23/2013
OMG!!! Thank you, so much for writing this post! No offense to anyone but I get so upset every time I hear people talk bad about or mistreat their in-laws/parents. I feel like people don't realize how bless they are to have in-laws/parents, let alone children to share with them. I pray each day that I can give our parents the joy of having a grandchild. Mind you my in laws aren't the nicest people to me, they are very cut and dry (for no reason) but hey that?s their problem I treat them with love and respect and my DH sees that. This doesn't mean that my parents are perfect nor that they don?t do things that annoy us but I address the issues with them nicely. But I have seen people do and say really mean things about their in-laws and I just ask myself...do these ungrateful people know how freaking blessed they are? If your in-laws/parents are obsessed with your children be thrilled!!! There are many people how would give anything to be able to share their lives with their parents. I know a girlfriend of mine whose mom past away three years ago and she told me she would give anything to have to hear her mom repeat 50 millions times "do you want me to help you with anything".
Just my two cents! If you haven't noticed this is a sensitive subject for me. Again, thank you so much for your post. =o)
I am truly very sorry you don?t have your mommy or MIL but just know that you have two angels watching over your family.
*HUGS*
-Yessy
It really does take a village to raise a family! Your post is soo true. I too wish my family were here, more for emotional support than anything else. My mom took off work for 10 days to come and spend time with me and the kids after Benji was born and it was sooo great to have her here. I cried when she was leaving. She makes me laugh and understands me better than anyone else (myself included). I wish she would move here - she's been talking about it for years....and I miss my sister sooo much. And as much as I complain about my MIL - I do appreciate her. For all her faults, she is the one constant in our lives. So yes - we have plenty to be grateful for and I don't take this blessed life for granted.
I hope things work out for you and the kids. Finding someone you trust is no easy task.
My blog
I'm so sorry, Tania. I really hope that things work out for next week. I can only imagine how hard it is to be so far away from your family and to be missing your mom.
I do my fair share of complaining about my ILs and sometimes my parents, but I do realize how incredibly blessed I am to have my support system. If it wasn't for the help I get from my MIL and my parents, I don't know how I would do it.