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miscarriage question

futureJHLfutureJHL
in North Carolina Babies
friends of ours just found out after 18 months of trying that they were pregnant and now a day later they found out there is no baby- she is or has or is going to miscarry... those are all the details i know.  we were going to go out to dinner with them tomorrow to celebrate and now the husband says we should still go so his wife can get out of the house and that she really wanted to see us anyway.  how would you handle this situation.  it's not for sure that we're going to go yet... but if we do, would you bring something for them?  honestly, i don't know her all that well.  the husband works with mine (and i used to work with him too, so i know him better than her).  i know i need to recognize the situation somehow, but i'm just now sure of the right way to handle it at this point.  flowers and a card is really all i can think to do.  any other bright ideas? ugh i just hate that this happens to so many people.
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Re: miscarriage question

  • MrsJones2005MrsJones2005
    How about just a card that says you're thinking of her and maybe a gift card to go get a pedicure.  Its sandal season and who doesn't love some time to pamper themselves.
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  • ECUPirate04ECUPirate04

    I'd say there is a 100% chance you aren't going to dinner.

     That said IF you do I've been there and I'm not sure how you should recognize it given you don't know her and they just found out.

    Maybe send flowers beforehand so it takes the big elephant out of the room at dinner?

     

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  • SpeedGlennSpeedGlenn
    I would guess that dinner will probably get postponed.  At a minimum I'd send flowers and if dinner is canceled maybe drop off a meal for them with wine (if they're wine drinkers).  Someone dropped off a six pack of wine after my m/c and I am forever thankful for that.
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  • elissaann26elissaann26 member

    imageSpeedGlenn:
    Someone dropped off a six pack of wine after my m/c and I am forever thankful for that.

    Woh!  Now there is a serious friend!

    image
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  • SpeedGlennSpeedGlenn
    imageelissaann26:

    imageSpeedGlenn:
    Someone dropped off a six pack of wine after my m/c and I am forever thankful for that.

    Woh!  Now there is a serious friend!

    Pretty much all of my friends brought booze.  Not sure what that says about my coping skills.Confused

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  • VivianLeeVivianLee member
    If you guys do happen to go out and if you can swing it, how about picking up their bill.  And if they decide not to go, maybe sending them a giftcard for dinner on their own some other time would be nice too.  I have a dear sweet nestie friend (whom I haven't met IRL yet) who send me a gc to starbucks and a really sweet card just to let me know she was thinking of me.  You don't have to be the wife's bff for her to appreciate the fact that you are thinking of her.  I'm so sorry for them!
    image Connor Reeves - July 4, 2007 Naomi Raye - January 26, 2011
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  • H&W05H&W05 member
    I guess take your cue from her? I would acknowledge it, say how sorry you are, but then see how she responds. When I had a m/c I didn't really want to talk about it and have to rehash it for everyone. But that was me, maybe she will want to talk.
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