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dont want to be rude but...(NBR)

umsldispatcherumsldispatcher
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months
so im getting married in may, and we have mailed the invitations off, we have started getting RSVP cards back. We addressed the envelopes to the people invited. now some of them are responding saying they will be bringing there children. However they are not invited, we didnt put that on the inviations adn now i guess we should have but we simply addressed the envelopes Mr and Mrs Smith, nothing about children. so whats the best way to tell them they cant bring there kids, i dont want to upset anyone but we cant afford to feed the 4 and 5 kids each person has. they are all of 2nd cousins and such that are bringing the kids.
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Re: dont want to be rude but...(NBR)

  • JaysonandKristinJaysonandKristin member

    Sounds like Maid of Honor duty!! ;oP

    Seriously, though, if it's family, I would just call and explain it's adults only 

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  • Luv-a-BugLuv-a-Bug

    We put the kabosh on that from the start by having the reception card say "Adult only reception to follow at 6pm yaddayaddayadda..."

    Not sure how to work that in hindsight gracefully, sorry.

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  • umsldispatcherumsldispatcher
    imageLuv-a-Bug:

    We put the kabosh on that from the start by having the reception card say "Adult only reception to follow at 6pm yaddayaddayadda..."

    Not sure how to work that in hindsight gracefully, sorry.

    thats what i wanted to do from the start was put it on the invite. so it was clear and black and white for people, however my mom threw a fit. I should have just done it because they cant afford to help pay for the wedding so its all my fiance and i. now she wont call family to tall them she says its my job.
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  • Mrs.BoomBoomMrs.BoomBoom
    We called and offered them help finding sitters because it was adults only.  You did everything right, it's them were rude inviting their kids
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  • DrDPMDrDPM member
    I'm not sure how close your house (or a friend's or family member's) is to the reception place, but could you hire a sitter or two for the evening? You could call and say something like "we so excited thet you and X are coming, but we've planned for an adults only evening. We do have Y and Z who are offering to babysit, so that you won't have to make any arrangements." And like pp said, I'd have the maid of honor do it. Good luck - let us know how it goes!
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  • Amrice78Amrice78

    you did it the right way - it's tacky to put it on the invites

    I'd let people know by word of mouth - your mother for your side, your mil for his side or some one else close to you (like MOH), but who people will listen to

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  • Amrice78Amrice78
    imageumsldispatcher:
    imageLuv-a-Bug:

    We put the kabosh on that from the start by having the reception card say "Adult only reception to follow at 6pm yaddayaddayadda..."

    Not sure how to work that in hindsight gracefully, sorry.

    thats what i wanted to do from the start was put it on the invite. so it was clear and black and white for people, however my mom threw a fit. I should have just done it because they cant afford to help pay for the wedding so its all my fiance and i. now she wont call family to tall them she says its my job.

    she's wrong - it's her job or another close family member's job

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  • only1erinonly1erin
    i would call and tell them.......it's all about space and money.
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  • PinkIsPerfectPinkIsPerfect member

    I don't really have any advice, but wanted to say that I'm amazed at how clueless people are when they receive wedding invitations.  Family or not, had you of wanted their kids there, the invite would have been addressed as so.  I've known that for as long as I've been invited to weddings.

    My unwed sister, who just started dating a guy, received an invitation to my cousin's wedding, addressed ONLY to her which meant only SHE was invited. She got upset and called my Aunt wanting to know if she could still bring a guest.  Totally tacky IMO.

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  • kdiaisflykdiaisfly
    Tell them that your budget is too tight to accommodate kids.
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  • Anniekins214Anniekins214

    Ugh. ?We had the same problem. ?Two of DH's cousins told us that they wouldn't be attending if their father was invited. ?DH is close to the cousins, so we didn't invite their dad.

    Then, one of them RSVP'd that she and her husband were coming (she never told us she was planning to bring the kids; I don't know where she was expecting them to go!). ?The other one RSVP'd that she was bringing her kid. ? When we informed them we weren't able to accommodate children, they both said they wouldn't come to the wedding. ?(This is, of course, AFTER I sent in my head counts, and AFTER their father hadn't been invited, etc.) ?I was ready to tell them to go sit on a pin. ?

    They decided to come after my husband told them how hurt he was. ?He explained again that space was an issue. ?I guess the point is, you can't control how people react. ?It was their faux pas to even assume their kids were invited. It's not like you can't call the bride and ask...

    "Cool as Hell like e-mail, but still timeless like a letter."
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