DS's dad met him in the hospital a couple days after he was born. Yesterday he came to visit DS and as horrible as a husband as he was, he does want to be a good dad. That doesn't mean that I trust him alone with DS but if he wants to be part of his life I won't discourage it.
Before his visit I pumped so ex could give him a bottle if he got hungrey. DS was really fussy with the bottle and then was crying. After going on like this for a while ex left the room so I could BF Andrew which calmed him down. DS was asleep for most of the visit so ex mostly just held him and looked at him. He did say he thinks DS looks more like me, he also said he thinks I'll be a good mom which was cool to hear. I'm really hoping that ex can be a good dad when he visits without being a DB to me...
Re: Ex's visit
I am glad the visit went well. I hope it continues down this road.
How are you doing?
Thanks everyone. Ex wants to visit again on sunday.
I am feeling fine. Pain wise I'm doing really good. Just not getting much done except taking care of DS! I am holding him while he sleeps right now.
He got bottles before breast because of being in the nicu. I was pumping for him before I could BF him.
Is he going to have supervised visitations, or have you gotten that far? I hope that he steps up, but I am with you, I don't trust him. Don't let your guard down. I hope for your son's sake that your ex wants to do the right thing and will follow through.
I am not saying that change is impossible, because I have seen it happen to my father. He was phsically and emotionally abusive, controlling and just a mean person when I was a child, but now that I am an adult, he is kind, loving, sweet and even helpful. I can honestly say that I love him, and not have any "buts" or doubts in my mind. I don't know what the trigger was for his change, but I wish I could bottle it and turn every DB into a decent father before they damage their kids.