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Working Moms
Christmastime baby?
Hi ladies,
I'm not sure if this is the best place to post, but I figured you all
have the experience of little ones already and may be able to provide
some insight. I also posted this on the Parenting board but figured I may get some additional feedback here.
DH and I are trying for our first child. We lost our first pregnancy in November at 15 weeks and are now trying again. The thing is, if we were to be successful this cycle, we'd have a Christmas Eve due date. Now, I know babies can have a mind of their own and be early or late, but I'm not sure I want to stack the odds in favor of a Christmastime baby, knowing how busy the holidays are for us already. Between DH and I, I'm the one who's busier during the holidays, what with shopping, wrapping, social scheduling, etc. all on top of working FT and I'm not sure if throwing a birthday in there will pile on the stress (since heaven knows I'll be the one planning those parties, too.) Also, a close friend of ours had their baby 12/24/09, so we know we'll already have those celebrations, too. Do any of you have any insight, either with your own kiddies or friends/family? Am I being unreasonable, or is this a rational consideration? Please don't flame me, but I do appreciate honesty.
TIA!This discussion has been closed.
Re: Christmastime baby?
First I am sorry for your MC but Really? I know after my MC and after time to heal I really really wanted a baby and didn't care when the due date was.
I'm thinking MUD
If this isn't MUD I would post this on a TTC board
We are TTC #3 right now so I'm considering the same thing. DH's bday is 12/21 too, so I know that it's not such a big deal. He's not scarred from having his bday around the holidays. And, it would actually be really good for me to take mat leave when my kids will be off of school already vs. taking a week in Dec and more time off a month or two later. So, I'm not minding it as much.
One thing you will learn, as a working mom, is to prepare in advance. Nothing is too hard for me if I plan ahead. You just have to be organized and it will all work out. For bday parties for kids, most of my friends that have kids with dec bdays do them in Jan. It's just easier on everyone. But, that doesn't mean you can't celebrate on the special day with the grandparents and all. Close family will always make time for your DC.
Trust me, it's not MUD. I'm just a planner, and this is one of the downsides to that personality trait, I guess. That's why I'm looking to others for opinions -- to see if I'm being unreasonable or if this is something other people consider, too. Of course, a healthy baby is the most important thing to us, but I can also wait another month if there'd be a lot of stress that comes with a December due date.
Awesome, thank you so much for your help and opinions. This is exactly what I'm looking for! :-)
Matthew Kevin
7/31/83-7/20/11
Met 1/8/00
Engaged 4/21/06
Married 9/29/07
Two beautiful legacies: Noah Matthew (2 yrs) and Chloe Marcella (8 mos)
Day Three
I had my LO on Dec 23 of this past year. FWIW, he was due Dec 11, so was 12 days late. Clearly you can't predict when they'll come, no matter how hard you plan.
For December, my baby was my #1 priority. We didn't do christmas gifts, socializing, anything, it was all about getting ready for him and taking care of myself to get ready. I didn't miss that other stuff one little bit. In fact, we were in the hospital on Christmas Eve and Christmas day and I thought ahead of time that it would be awful, but it was wonderful, because we were there with a healthy beautiful baby and what better way to celebrate Christmas? Who cares about wrapping presents or friends' kids parties when it means you have a baby??
With DD I was due on Jan. 2 and welcomed the instant excuse I had to not do anything I didn't want to do over the holiday season. Trust me, you'll never have such a great reason to turn down that one party you don't feel like going to, or leave early from the family dinner that is dragging on, etc...I didn't plan on having a holiday baby, we just got lucky the first month that we TTC.
The bummer was, while she was due Jan. 2, she didn't actually grace us with her presence until Jan. 11. Little stinker.
That year I rushed and got all of my Christmas shopping done in November, that helped.
I will admit that I sort of dread planning her birthday party every year, just because it is right after the holidays. I feel like people think, "oh we JUST saw all of these people, and JUST bought presents..." But I think that is just my imagination--no one has ever complained that they have to come to yet one more party.
i totally understand what you're saying. DS was due on january 22nd and was born on december 3rd. he was still in the NICU on christmas.
between my family (3 hours away) and DH's divorced parents, plus thanksgiving and a bunch of birthdays, the holidays are beyond stressful, from thanksgiving on. now we have a weekend with DS's birthday too. it's a lot to handle. we considered planning the next one so that we would be further away from christmas, but eventually weighed the options and decided we didn't want to wait. i think it's just a matter of weighing the options.
good luck! and so sorry to hear about your m/c.
Oh, and at the hospital where I deliver, they give the babies who are there over Christmas little red and green santa hats instead of the normal knit newborn caps. Uhm, how cute IS THAT?!
FWIW, I am very sorry for your loss, and hope you get very lucky this go-round.
I just a lurker on this board since I don't have a child yet but will be a full time working mom. Just wanted to tell you I sympathize with your planning...I am avoiding TTC this month and next because I prefer not to have a child in December and January. DH's sister and a baby cousin have birthdays during those months and it is a pain in the ass for everyone. We will start TTC in May/June, but if it gets to be March next year and I'm still not pregnant, we will certainly still be trying that month. I guess my take is that its no big deal for us to avoid right now, but if we're in a position where we've been trying for a while and aren't having luck (God forbid), we'll try every month we can.
Good luck to you!
I have a Christmas eve baby. My bday is 12/17 and that was actually her due date. Yes, it's a busy time of year. But I also have time off around the holidays and there is always more family around. Delivering at Christmas had it's benefits- the hospital was quiet, family that would otherwise not have meant DD until that following summer, got to meet her as they were in town for the holidays.
Growing up I had a half year birthday party in the summer. Maybe that's something we'll do with DD when she's school age?
Either way, you make it work and make it count. I couldn't imagine her being born any other time. It's such a special time of year and honestly allows you to really reflect upon all your blessings (super cheesy, I know).
W/ my dad being born on 12/22 and I on 1/22 (yes, even a month later kind of sucked!) - if I had a CHOICE, i would have opted to not have a baby near Christmas.
But... the IVF Gods had other plans for us and DS was born 12/16. It is what it is and we roll w/ it!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
My grandmother is a mean, spiteful, hateful, old woman and I'm convinced that it's because she was born on Christmas day and missed out on a lifetime of birthdays. I even told DH that we could not have sex between Feb and Apr because I didn't want a Christmas baby. DH responded that he wasn't going to miss out on the chance of having a child if that is when it it meant to be. Of course, DD's due date was Dec 15th, born Dec 9th.
Yes, I think you're being unreasonable - if you happen to get pregnant and are due in December, you'll forget about all this worry/preplanning and will just be happy to have your baby.
http://tidetravel.weebly.com/index.html
I am so sorry about your loss. I'm glad to hear that you're healthy and ready to start trying again!
DS was born on 12/17, and it's been fine. Is it hectic that time of year? Absolutely! If I were to design his ideal birthday would I choose the week before Christmas? Probably not. But I agree with the PP that it is a great time to see lots of family and it was great when he was born b/c DH got more time off of work. It hasn't turned out to be a huge deal.
IMO, everything works out the way it's supposed to!
All I have to say is, I want a piece of that birthday cake!!!
And thanks for your thoughts and experience, too. :-)
When I had my son on Christmas they put all the babies in stockings that had the hospital logo embroidered on them and we got to take it home. SO CUTE!
Having a child in December is not something that I would schedule around. I'm a December baby and I turned out okay!
I would put this in the "really - don't stress about it" category. Just have fun TTC!
DD was born 12/23/08 (Due date 12/16 We didn't really do Christmas the first year, we came home from the hospital on Christmas Day. This year it was easier to celebrate because we don't live close to family so we could do both, birthday and Christmas. We just plan way ahead- all shopping was done at the end of October/November. I also have a December birthday and made a promise to her that it will always be special. My parents are totally onboard and even wrapped her presents in different wrapping paper- birthday and xmas!
Personally, I think you're being very smart about it (planning, that is). Thebirth only happens once (duh) but a lifetime of crappy birthdays (this said from friends/ family with Dec. b-days) are going to happen a lot. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I want to aim for a spring baby so i think we'll ttc in the summer/ fall.
Good luck!
Honestly? The holidays didn't even factor in to our decision on when to have a baby. My mom's b-day is Christmas day and DH is 12/23. Neither one of them minded having a b-day close to the holidays. DD was due on 12/20 but made her appearance on 12/13. If anything, it made me realize that I don't want the holidays to be so crazy- it has made me focus more on my own family than driving myself crazy trying to see all of our extended family. I'm always an early shopper for Christmas anyway.
Don't forget that there are no guarantees that you will even get pregnant this month. But if you are that concerned, skip this month and start trying again next month. But I think you are overthinking things.
I haven't read the PP's, but I have 2 December babies. My youngest's due date was actually xmas day. Dh has a Decemebr bday too and he didn't like it. It's not ideal, but I can't imagine not TTC due to this though. Never occurred to me to take off a cycle. Good luck.
No flames, but I'll probably give a flameful response. I was due on 12/22, and got induced on 12/18 so my DS wouldn't be born on Christmas eve/day. I'm not a big fan of having a baby so close to Christmas, and the only reason we're not ttc #2 right now is because I don't want another baby born around Christmas, so I can relate to what you're feeling. I think birthdays are definitely going to be trickier but I'm sure we'll get creative and make DS feel special. It might be trickier to have a child with a birthday around the holiday, but SO worth it.
So sorry for your loss and hope you get pregnant again soon.
Personally, I would wait a month, what's one more month?
My DS was born on 12/21 (he was due on 12/20). We planned to go in for an induction on 12/23 because I didn't want a Christmas baby. Fortunately, DS came on his. While having the birthday at Christmas is not that big of a deal, I have found in the past three years, as a working mom, that having a birthday around Christmas is very difficult. Between all the holiday festivities, Christmas, birthday, in laws visiting, etc. it is just too much. I think we are going to start having a 1/2 birthday party for his friends - which is something I said I would never do. His birthday is in December. But if we have it in the summer, then we can do something outside.
We conceived him (and our DD) in the first month of trying. I thought it would take a while, therefore, I didn't even think of the dates. But we were really lucky.
BTW - I'm sorry for your loss.
I am not flaming, but I can't believe your Dr's would actually induce you early just for your own preferences!