Nursing a Toddler in Public

NYBride0813 · March 2010

I noticed in the self-weaning post below and other posts in the past, that many moms stop nursing their toddlers in public. I was just curious what the reasoning is behind this? DS is still a young toddler, but I don't think I see the difference between him wanting to nurse at home or if we are out, since we are out most of the day anyway. No flames, just curious.

ncbelle · March 2010

I still NIP.

I can understand why some don't. For one, I think many toddlers are too distracted or disinterested to NIP. Many don't nurse much during the day anyway, especially if out and about (since they are "busy" and less likely to want to nurse). And there's certainly more stigma attached to nursing a "big kid" vs. a baby - not that there should be but there is. I can understand someone not wanting to elicit stares and looks if that's not something they are comfortable dealing with.

wheelsonthebus · March 2010

I can understand why some don't. People judge you for nursing a toddler an it can be uncomfortable. That being said, it upsets me that mothers have to feel that way. DS rarely will NIP because he is very distracted, but if he does, I already feel a little selfconcious. I'll do it anyway though, because I think it's important for people to see older babies nursing in order to make it more acceptable!

Quazel · March 2010

I still NIP but, to be honest, I am a teacher and won't do it anywhere I think my students might possibly see me. If I am at the mall or something, I go to a mother's room or dressing room. If I am not near where I work, I am more likely to full out NIP. I am not ashamed and would love to set a good example but I don't want my students seeing my breasts.

I would welcome someone saying something to me about it, I would probably enjoy telling them the benefits, lol!

MrsAmers · March 2010

For us, it wasn't a purposeful decision. After 14 months, the only time DD nursed during the day was before nap or post-tantrum, and even those times were rare. She wasn't drinking any EBM at daycare and on the weekend she was too distracted when we were out and about to want to nurse.

I basically realized at 14/15 months that we weren't nursing in public anymore. It wasn't a conscious choice.

But I kind of see DS headed in the same direction. Last weekend he went 5 hours during the day without nursing while we were out and about. And he has never needed to use nursing to calm down from a tantrum. I kind of expect him to nurse a long time, but I bet we'll be down to just morning, pre-nap, bedtime and overnight soon after his birthday.

cateye · March 2010

My DD is way too distracted; she pops on and off...giving everyone a nice show and me very sore nipples. We still nurse at friends' and families' homes and in nursing/changing rooms sometimes.

juniper19 · March 2010

My ds is Judah too!

And he's 18 months and I really hate NIP now, even though I still do it from time to time. He's always popping off and flashing everyone. He tries to play with my other boob. And I have to say that I am getting more self-conscious of people's judgments because of his age. I'm thankful that he's very small for his age because I feel like it buys me some time.

mominatrix · March 2010

There's also a big difference between nursing a 13 month old, and nursing a 3 year old in public...

I'm pretty OK with people thinking I'm whack, but the vibe definitely changes the older they get.

As with PP's... it just doesn't come up when we're out in the world. Even if she falls and gets a bump, it's usually hugs and kisses she wants...

lanie30 · March 2010

juniper19:

My ds is Judah too!

And he's 18 months and I really hate NIP now, even though I still do it from time to time. He's always popping off and flashing everyone. He tries to play with my other boob. And I have to say that I am getting more self-conscious of people's judgments because of his age. I'm thankful that he's very small for his age because I feel like it buys me some time.

It was hard enough to be discrete when Jo was 10 months old, never mind a toddler. Not all babies nurse nice and still. I'd have been flashing the world and stopped NIP entirely at around 6 months for this reason> I just wasn't comfortable with everyone seeing my breasts 30 x during a nursing session.

cindy453 · March 2010

Emmy already hardly wants to nurse while we are out and about- too much to see, too much to do, and she likes solids too much. Once she realized there was a big world out there, she quit nursing nicely in public. Right now it's generally easier to nurse in the car before we go in somewhere or find a quiet bench. I would be really surprised if we are still NIP when she is one... maybe if she nursed to sleep for naps, but that would require her to nap in the first place.

Lotte134 · March 2010

For us, like others, it's mostly because he doesn't ask in public. He's too busy seeing and doing and enjoying. I think the last time he asked was maybe when he was 13 months though that's a total guess. He also likes to try to play with my nipples and pop off and on and I'm just not comfortable showing that in public. It's not an age thing for me but a modesty thing. Plus he's easy to distract. I offer a snack, a drink, or say hey is there a bus driving by? and he forgets. If he were to be really insistent for some reason I would nurse him, but as I said that hasn't happened in ages.

tmp-214118062502913 · March 2010

Well DD doesn't nurse as often now - if we are out in public we only nurse if we aren't home for a meal, or if we are late in getting home/missing bedtime because a nursing will tide her over and soothe her. Recently the only times I have NIPed is when I come to pick her up after work - like if she is at my mom's house, if my mom is meeting me somewhere public after work, if DH picks me up after work and we go straight somewhere. DD is used to nursing as soon as I get home so I maintain that connection. I have become quite good at nursing her while she is still strapped into the carseat while we are in the grocery store or pizza parlor parking lot.

However that being said, I am far more likely to NIP now than a year ago. Back then, I didn't feel secure and hadn't mastered holding her with one hand, etc. Now, I can NIP and no one knows what is going on - no need for a cover, etc. I feel secure, DD knows what to do, and I am much faster at covering up if she does pop off.

KimberJEB · March 2010

Around 9 months we quit NIP purely b/c he wouldn't actually nurse. He would latch on & off 99 times in 3 minutes, then be off and running. Now he rarely nurses during the day, so it isn't an issue.

I have NO problem with NIP, it just doesn't work for us.

EcoBaby · March 2010

I still NIP but I'm definitely more self-conscious about it. I was always pretty comfortable NIP, but not really anymore. I'll avoid if possible, but its usually not possible.

RufflesRambo · March 2010

Late to this convo but I'd like to add something. I mostly don't NIP anymore only because he doesn't ask for it often. BUT if he did, I would.

And I am very open (to the point of obnoxiousness I'm sure) about the fact that we are still nursing. I get weird looks all the time if I bring it up! But my feeling is that until we all "come of out the closet" so to speak, people are always going to think it's weird to nurse a toddler. So I am very open about it, I ask if they have any questions for me.

I'm not "crunchy" looking, I work in a corporate environment (and DS is normal LOL!) - I guess I want to just teach people that WAY more woman nurse toddlers than they may expect and they don't necessarily fit the stereotypes others may have.

Judah'sMommy · March 2010

I have nothing to add to this thread but a third Judah!

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