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Would this irritate you? Re: MIL (who else, right?)

Mrs.GregMrs.Greg member
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

My MIL doesn't baby sit DD very often.  My mom baby sits every day while DH and I work.  Well, my mom needed the day "off" today so my MIL said she'd LOVE to baby sit.  She came over at about 6:30 this morning.  I wrote out short instructions on DD's feeding schedule.  It was pretty much this:  "DD eats every three hours.  Bottle first, then cereal w/fruit puree, then bottle."  DD woke up at 6 so I BF'd her and put her back to bed.  When MIL got to my house, I told her this and gave her the short instructions.  I didn't think I had to say "She should eat around 9, noon, and 3" but I guess I should've because I called home at about 9:30 and DD was down for a nap and MIL said DD at cereal w/fruit at 8... and an entire bottle at 9.  WTF?  She shouldn't have eaten that much until about noon!  Then she says she did spit up a little after the bottle.  Yeah, no SH!T she spit up, her tummy was too full!!  I was so irritated!  I left simple instructions and she couldn't even follow them!  I think she didn't really know how to entertain DD so she thought she'd feed her to pass the time.  My mom thinks DD might have been fussy because she was tired but MIL thought she was hungry.  Either way, WTF? 

 

Would this irritate you? 

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Re: Would this irritate you? Re: MIL (who else, right?)

  • KacieLeighKacieLeigh member
    My MIL never follows my instructions very well.  But I've just learned that DD will be fine if her routine is thrown out of whack one time.  I had to quit sweating the small stuff because I was about to lose my mind when people didn't do things the way I wanted! Ha! 

    • DD1: August 2009
    • DD2: December 2010
    • DS: August 2012
    • M/C 9/2013, 12/2013 
    • DD3: October 2014 - April 2015 Miss you baby girl.
    • Current Due date:  April 14, 2016
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  • soontobe05soontobe05
    It DOES irritate me. My MIL did/does the same thing. Tis why she hasn't watched her in a long time!
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  • Kelli2507Kelli2507 member
    that is annoying, but at least it's just one day and then your DD can go back to her normal schedule tomorrow.
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  • Lesley0228Lesley0228 member
    Yeah, probably would bug me, but I'm trying to learn how to relax as DD gets older. Not everyone is going to care for her exactly as I do and as long as the outcome is the same (or at least not something bad) then it really isn't a big deal. At least that is what I keep reminding myself.
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  • brideofscowboybrideofscowboy member

    No, it wouldn't irritate me.

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  • ksaylesksayles member

    It would irritate me, but she doesn't watch her every day.

    I know my mom knows all of DD's cues, but MIL doesn't pick up on everything.

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  • *KC*luvs*RJ**KC*luvs*RJ*
    Yes.  My MIL is also incapable of following simple instructions.  She's not allowed to be alone with DS until he's older.  This was DH's idea, even, so I know she really does stink with kids.
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  • artsy_brideartsy_bride
    Honestly, I don't think your instructions were super clear.  You said she eats every 3 hours, but didn't specify if a feeding consists of just bottle, just solids, or both.  I'm not too surprised that she did what she did. 
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  • lkichlkich member

    This would be the same if it were my MIL. She always says that she'd be happy to was DS just bring a big bottle. I guess feeding them is their way of watching??

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  • linztucklinztuck
    ugh. This is my MIL exactly! She doesn't watch DD very often, so I think she gets overwhelmed and unsure.  The last time she watched DD, she thought she had a 'teething fever', gave her some tylenol.  Then she tells us that she threw up twice. Did she think to call me?! no! Did she bother to call me when she thought she had a fever?! no! DD doesn't run a fever, ever! knock on some wood. Another problem is that MIL is naturally cold and DD is naturally warm, so she thinks that she always has a fever. grrrr. it really makes my blood boil when I think about what she's done.  I really try and pick my battles but I definitely let her have it this last time, so did DH. Luckily, she lives in North Carolina and we live in Texas. I really do not know what i would do if she lived in the same state.
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  • Mrs.GregMrs.Greg member
    imagehocus:

    Were the bottles premade? I just don't get the difference between a bottle and a "full bottle" in your post.

    While I see that your annoyed you didn't really give that explicit of instructions -- we premake bottles that should be used completely when the in laws babysit. (e.g. if I want her to have 5 oz per feeding I make up enough 5 oz bottles + 1 for to cover the time I am out). I also tell them when she last ate and when the next feeding is likely to fall.

     

    Yes, there were two bottles in the fridge, defrosted and ready to be heated up.  I just said "entire" because MIL said DD finished "an entire" bottle an hour after eating cereal w/fruit.

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  • Mrs.GregMrs.Greg member
    imagehocus:

    So you were thinking fruit/cereal at 9, milk at noon and fruit/cereal at 3?

    I'm with your MIL on this one -- I didn't get that from you instructions either. I assumed you had some sort of milk/cereal/fruit at every meal.

     

    My instructions weren't literally what I typed up above.  I kind of condensed it so my post wouldn't be a mile long.  Sorry about the confusion on that.

     

    Part of the reason I was irritated is because MIL knew what she did wasn't what I asked because when she told me, she laughed and said she kinda goofed up. 

     

    I'm sure she'll baby sit again... I'll just have to make my request VERY clear next time.... not that I think it will help, MIL will still screw it up.  Indifferent

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  • AFwife1106AFwife1106

    This is the reason why we are paying for daycare vs. having my mother watch LO.  I'd like to still have a relationship with my Mom (ha ha) so I'd rather financial suck it up.  I can't handle my Mom watching LO while I'm home, so I would not really like to see what would happen if she was left alone.  I know she'd never do anything to hurt LO, but it would completely grate on my last nerve.

    I'm going to give MIL the benefit of the doubt and say that DD was probably fussy and MIL offered her food and that was that.  It would completely irritate me, but I don't know if it should or not.  

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  • ~Soleil~~Soleil~

    imageExpectantSteelerFan:
    I wouldn't have understood your directions from the way you explained them on here.  It's annoying that your LO got off schedule, but your MIL was probably trying her best.  Next time be more clear.

    I agree with this. It was hard to understand. Did she have any way to contact you if she was confused?

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  • fairychick77fairychick77 member
    imagehocus:

    So you were thinking fruit/cereal at 9, milk at noon and fruit/cereal at 3?

    I'm with your MIL on this one -- I didn't get that from you instructions either. I assumed you had some sort of milk/cereal/fruit at every meal.

    Me too. Cut her some slack, she tried. She doesn't sit her everyday so she is not familiar with her feeding schedule and your instructions were not clear.

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  • kiwi443kiwi443 member

    imageExpectantSteelerFan:
    I wouldn't have understood your directions from the way you explained them on here.  It's annoying that your LO got off schedule, but your MIL was probably trying her best.  Next time be more clear.

    ITA.  I find myself being unclear sometimes because I am so familiar with J's schedule and I know exactly what I mean, but it doesn't always make sense to someone who doesn't watch him often.  I know it's annoying to have your DD's schedule messed up, but she'll recover :0).

    J - 9/6/09 L and A - 1/17/12
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  • FrickandFrackFrickandFrack member
    I don't really see what the big deal is.  He is well fed and happy.  I would be more concerned if I called and LO was screaming and had not been fed.
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  • AMYfromKYAMYfromKY member

    Yes.  My MIL watched Henry when I was getting my hair done (so 2 hours max).  I BFed him right in front of her and said "I am leaving a bottle for emergencies (like if I was in a car wreck and couldn't get back to him in time or something of the sort) and told her he wouldn't be hungry."

    I called to check on him about an hour and a half later and she said he had been crying so she gave him the bottle.  Then she said he kept turning his head away, but she didn't know why.  

    I was so irritated.  Not only did she try to force feed him, but she also wasted 5oz of milk I had pumped.   

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  • mavilabridemavilabride member
    I don't think your instructions were very clear to be honest.  When I read it, I thought you meant give her a bottle, then the cereal with fruit, then a bottle again.  I had to read it two more times after you explained it.
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