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Attachment Parenting
Need reassurance about "self-weaning"
I know that DS is still young. But I met a 2 and a half year old baby today and got scared... She still nurses to sleep, wakes at night to nurse, and wants to nurse often during the day - if she is sick, tired, hurt, etc. She screams "t!tty" when she wants to nurse. This is not what I want for my son. Please share your positive experiences with nursing a toddler, self-weaning, etc. I need some support tonight 
BFP#1 May 17, 2008
Surgery for ectopic pregnancy June 3, 2008
******
BFP #2 September 25, 2008
Baby boy born June 4, 2009 at 40 weeks
8 pounds 13 ounces and 23 inches
******
BFP #3 February 6, 2011
First U/S February 25, 2011 = TWINS!!!
Boy/girl twins born October 4, 2011
Surgery for ectopic pregnancy June 3, 2008
******
BFP #2 September 25, 2008
Baby boy born June 4, 2009 at 40 weeks
8 pounds 13 ounces and 23 inches
******
BFP #3 February 6, 2011
First U/S February 25, 2011 = TWINS!!!
Boy/girl twins born October 4, 2011
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Need reassurance about "self-weaning"
I've met LOTS of nursing toddlers, and none of them have ever screamed "titty" when they want to nurse. *most* of the moms implement some sort of night weaning around 1 if the child isn't already done nursing at night. I do know some kids who nursed to sleep until over 2, though. They are polite though...
"She screams "t!tty" when she wants to nurse."
I don't quite know whether to shudder or laugh at that. That said, titty is not a word commonly, if ever, used in our home, so I doubt it'd be the one DD choose to use to ask to nurse. I have no experience w/ self weaning, as I weaned DS early, but I do get nervous about the idea of DD wanting to nurse past the age of two- that's, I think, my mental cut off point, though who knows once I actually get there.
Surgery for ectopic pregnancy June 3, 2008
******
BFP #2 September 25, 2008
Baby boy born June 4, 2009 at 40 weeks
8 pounds 13 ounces and 23 inches
******
BFP #3 February 6, 2011
First U/S February 25, 2011 = TWINS!!!
Boy/girl twins born October 4, 2011
I do want to say though... if you don't want to nurse a 2 year old- that's fine. There are plenty of gentle weaning techniques out there. If you only want to nurse 2x a day- that's fine too. Set limits. It's a nursing relationship, and for a healthy relationship both people have to be happy and benefiting. Sometimes I'll see mothers who are just gritting their teeth to get through nursing until their child weans- I don't think that's good for the child or the mother.
Basically, it's fine to set limits on your toddler. If your toddler screamed, "COOKIE!!!!" would you feel bad about not giving it to them instantly? I know I sure wouldn't.
This! As the nursing relationship evolves you and your DC can tailor it to what works for both of you. BFing a toddler is a supplement (in most cases) to table food, so you don't have to let them nurse whenever they want if it is a time that makes you uncomfortable.
At 1 year with DD I stopped offering to nurse, but let her nurse whenever she asked. She either brought me the boppy or said "nurse". And overnight we started sending in DH to calm her. Lots of times he could put her back to sleep, and if he couldn't do it in 10-15 minutes I would nurse.
By 15 months we were no longer nursing in public or nursing overnight. And she self-weaned at 22 months (I was 4 months pregnant, so she might have gone a bit longer otherwise). I had a great experience letting DD self-wean, and as long as we are both happy with the nursing relationship I plan to let DS do the same.
The titty thing is just rude, and that's the thing that totally freaks people out when they say that kids should be weaned before they can talk... code words are wonderful. Ours was noonie. I nursed three kids to about 2 or a little beyond- and they were never so rude about demanding to nurse as that baby sounds...but it's not her fault that was the word she was taught to use. That situation is probably a combo of the mom's personality and the baby's personality... but you can certainly do child led weaning without doing child tyrant toddler nursing. Toddlers do not need to nurse the same way infants do, and there is no reason a mom can't set her own limits and the baby understand tham... they may still ask- but you can tell them, "as soon as we get home" "how about some cheerios?" etc.
One thing I really love about nursing toddlers- as they begin to walk and explore- they fall down and get hurt a lot- and nothing soothes an ouchie like a 10 second regroup cuddle in mom's lap... and boom- they are up and off exploring again.
I agree with most of the pp's. We never use the word titty so DS certainly won't be screaming that. He does try to pull down my shirt sometimes so we've been working on him asking with words instead and I know he'll get it. We also definitely set limits. At 12 months we went to don't offer, don't refuse. At 15 months I stopped nursing if it wasn't naptime, evening, or overnight and I also don't NIP anymore. If it's not time I just tell him "Mommy milk is all gone. Can we read a story?" and he gets it and grabs a book and we cuddle instead. Lately DH has been putting him to bed which is helping to wean the bedtime session. It's all about figuring out what works for you and your family and for us that has been limiting and ultimately actively working toward weaning albeit doing it as slowly and gently as possible.