Community› The Bump Message Boards› Postpartum Depression
Postpartum Depression
New Discussion

How to get over the guilt?

meghans30meghans30 member
in Postpartum Depression
I had severe PPD with DS#2. My husband took over much of the duties when he was an infant. I simply couldn't do it. I couldn't sleep. eat, or concentrate. I had to check myself into a respite facility for three days. I still feel guilt that I wasn't the mother that I wanted to be for my son's during this time period. Anyone else?
Report Reply to Post

Re: How to get over the guilt?

  • *speedracer**speedracer* member

    the thing that helps me the most is to remind myself that it's not a personal weakness, it's not a choice.  it's a mental disorder where delicate chemicals are imbalanced and need some help to get re-adjusted.

    i don't feel guilt per se, but i do regret not seeking help earlier.  i kept thinking it would blow over or that a little medication would fix it.  i never imagined it would become such a huge thing in my life. i did not have as severe a case as you but IMO, my experience was worse than the typical PPD stories i had read and i was totally unprepared for that severity.

    the fact that i eventually got help and learned something from going through PPD is enough for me, because it's too late to change the past. 

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • MrsJuneHawkMrsJuneHawk

    I know this sounds impossible but you really shouldn't feel guilty.  It is hard, I know, I've been there, but I was not depressed out of my own free will.  We don't decide we just don't want to take care of the baby, we don't decide we can't be bothered, we simply cannot help it.  If it had been up to me, I would have been all puppies and rainbows and supermom.  But it wasn't up to me, I was ill and this illness made me feel things I did not WANT to feel.  I felt very, very guilty at first but I have realized that it was not my fault and that all I can do is be the best mom I can NOW.

    Really, it wasn't your fault.  I know guilt is really hard to overcome.  Best wishes ot you!

    Report Reply
  • jshfjshf member
    I rarely feel guilt because I think of guilt as you did something wrong purposely.  Having PPD isn't something you wanted or made happen.  I think it's great that you got some respite and took care of yourself!  Better that than go off the deep end and hurt DS or your relationship with DH!  I would have loved to do something like that, but didn't even know I could.  I've been pretty good with DS, but some days, I was close to leaving DH!  Thankfully things have improved, but I still am cautious!  Hope you feel better!
    Lilypie First Birthday tickersBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker Anniversary
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"