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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Am I selfish?
I have noticed that alot of the babies on here that are STTN are FF or at least supplementing. DH and I are considering supplementing DS last bottle before bed to just see if he will STTN. I know it sounds selfish but I am seriously about to lose it with the lack of sleep and am about to have to go back to work and really need some sleep. I don't think that FF is bad I am wondering if my reason for wanting to is selfish. I would love to FF but we are cheap and I produce enough milk for lo, plus I know I should be grateful b/c so many women would love to bf and they can't. I hope this doesn't sound like I am horrible... I am not, I am just so so so tired.
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Re: Am I selfish?
What works for us is - the last few feedings before bedtime are 2 hours apart instead of 3. I try to stuff her to get her content and sleepy.
Then of course we quiet things down etc. During the day our house is kind of loud - so at night it's easy for her to tell that it's sleeptime.
I don't think you are. If FF is what you need to do to get some sleep and stay sane, then I say do it. But FWIW, my pedi told me there is normally no difference in sleeping patterns btwn BFing and FFing babies.
GL getting things worked out!
M/C Dec 2010 - 5w5d Missing my sweet angel baby.
No, not at selfish at all, but I don't know if I buy the whole - "FF babies sleep better" idea. It might just depend on the baby. FWIW - DD#1 STTN - 8pm-7am by 12 weeks. DD#2 didn't STTN until 6 months when we let her CIO. DS is already going at least 4-5 hours for one stretch (and has been for a week or two). All three have been EBF without any supplementing at night time or extra bottles before bed or anything. Not saying anything about FF. Just to say the circumstances for all three have been the same. Every baby is different.
FWIW - We do CIO at 6 months if the baby isn't STTN. Maybe that's selfish, but I know I'm a better mom when I get enough sleep and I can't function without it for too long. DD#1 stopped STTN at 7 months. It took until 9 months of getting up 2 and 3 times before we did CIO. With DD#2, we did it right at 6 months and we will with DS if we have to. I need sleep and that's what we choose to do. That's probably more selfish than trying formula to get sleep...
Oh you didn't sound harsh at all. I am scared I will like how easy it is and completely give up on bf'ing which I don't want to do at all. Just because if I can I want him to have the nutrients... but geez it is like a whole other job. There is taking care of lo and then nursing lol. I was completely unaware of how tough this was going to be. I am sure this is completely based on exhaustion. I am hoping if I am able to sleep more that I will enjoy being a mom a little bit more. I feel bad because I dread him waking up, I want to want my lo to be awake and around me.
Thank you for posting this. I guess y'all are right there isn't really any difference. I suppose when you are sleep deprived you will try to find anything to get sleep.
What is dreamfeeding?
I agree that FF probably won't change anything - babies have to have the neurological ability to stay asleep - not just a full tummy.
One thing that helped me a ton was to start pumping a bottle for DH to give overnight. We would put DS down around 8 and he'd wake up at 11. I'd feed him, then when he woke around 2, DH would feed him the bottle. Then at 5, I'd take over. That way I'd get at least 6 (relatively) uninterrupted hours of sleep. Made all the difference in the world.
Now, just a few weeks later, DS sleeps at least 5 hours in a row every night, and with DH still giving a bottle at the second feeding, we are all getting enough sleep. Your little guy is right on the cusp of starting to sleep for longer stretches, and I am willing to bet that in a couple of weeks he'll be sleeping much better overnight.
Something to consider before going to formula. Also - if you do give formula, be sure to pump an equivalent amount at that feeding so your supply doesn't drop. That alone was a big deterrent for me.
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
My pediatrician recommended that I give my DD one formula bottle a day to build up my freezer stash (I pump while DH gives the formula bottle). She suggested that we give it to her before bed. So, every night she gets a 4 oz. bottle around 9:00. She then sleeps (knock on wood) until about 4:00. When she wakes up, I BF her and then she goes back down until about 7:30.
I was going insane before we started doing this from lack of sleep and my pediatrician saw this. We are a much happier household now!
My LO's pedi and a friend who is a family practice doc both told me that FF vs. BFing make no difference as far as sleeping patterns go. Most of the studies done ( and there have been hundreds. The formula companies are always looking for an edge on BFing) have proven this fact over and over again. Most babies are not capable of STTN until 3-6 months of age and it has to do with their neurological development.
If you want a longer stretch of sleep have your DH give your LO a bottle of either formula or EPM. But your BBs are going to be super full for a few days, and the pain might keep you up.
I hear you on the exhaustion thing. I have 2 other kids that need me and I am a zombie. I was actually to the point where I wasn't comfortable driving because I was so tired. Since my 2 year old and 6 week old don't nap at the same time, I don't nap.
It is like a form of torture, but it does get better I promise.
dreamfeeding is when you nurse your LO without waking them up. They eat in their sleep. This never worked with DS #1, but I know others it was successful for. FWIW my oldest didn't STTN until he was 10 months old and my DS#2 is already going 5 hours straight - so it really depends on the kid.
A couple of thoughts:
--Like others have said, there really isn't any evidence to show FF babies sleep better or longer than EBF babies.
--Your baby is still so little. At six weeks, it's totally normal for a baby to need to eat every 2-4 hours or so overnight. I know you see babies on here that STTN at that age, but that's NOT common. At our last pedi visit, we were told to expect 1-2 night wakings until 8 months or so. DD has been sleeping 8-9 stretches this week, but who knows how long that will last.
--Instead of focusing on getting baby to sleep longer stretches before he's ready, try and see if you can get DH to take a feeding or consider breaking the night into chunks so you can each get a decent amount of rest. In my experience, 6-8 weeks was a really hard period for sleep and eating issues. It got tons better when she hit 10 weeks--she now goes down really easily and sleeps for MUCH longer chunks.
Mason is almost six months, FF and solids now and hes only sleeping maybe 5 hours at night. Formula isnt a cure all and neither are solids. They cant be forced into sleeping longer, it will happen when they are ready.
Like pp said, at one month, even two or three they are expected to wake up every 2-3 hours whether it be formula or breast, sleeping through the night at this point isnt the norm even though it may seem it. Just like rolling over isnt the norm at 3 months. Take naps during the day when your LO does, try and catch up. Have your SO help out when he can, thats what they are there for.
This!!!