- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
North Dakota Babies
Ok girls. Tell me if I am wrong.
Right now I am so upset. I don't know if you remember this happening two years ago, where Josh, as soon as he got out to WA, went out and bought an expensive SUV without even talking to me about it.
Well, guess what happened again. This week he has been talking nonstop about trading in his SUV and buying a car with high gas mileage. I told him that I highly recommend that he wait until after the baby is born because of the unexpected bills. In addition to the additional expenses there are to have a baby. Also, I said that the decision needed to be done together and reminded him that it was not done the last time and that I would rather him trade in my SUV. Fortunately, I answered his cell phone tonight to talk to a car finance manager that said that they needed to talk to Josh about his purchase. I lost it. Not only did he buy a car, but one that costs more money then his SUV. He traded in his SUV and the new car is a manual and I can't drive manual. I told him that he is being extremely greedy and that he is only thinking about himself.
Am I wrong?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Ok girls. Tell me if I am wrong.
You are not wrong at ALL. I would be livid! It's not like he went out and purchased a new DVD, this was a big purchase and you should have some say in when it is bought, what he gets and how much it costs. The fact that this is the second time he's done it and you advised him not to a few days earlier would make me even more mad.
I'm sorry!
Planning Bio Married Bio *Work In Progress*
Formerly Knottie Soon2beMrs.G_09
You are not wrong at all to be honest. I am sorry he thought this was okay.
honestly? I'd flip my Sh!t! That is NOT ok!
What are you going to do??
Morgan, He already bought it. He picks it up tomorrow so I found out listening to his conversation with the finance manager. He is so in his own little world right now that his appointment time is the same time that my dad is coming to bring us to BRU to pick up the baby furniture. I lost it about that too. Right now he is not home, he and Mya went to the movies.
The monthly cost is the same as what our day care monthly bill is going to be. Does he care NO.
OMG, I would be absolutely livid. You definitely have reason to be upset, especially because this is the SECOND time this has happened. And, you expressed your feelings on the issue and he still went out and did it.
Isn't there a 3-day return period on all major purchases like that? I may just be making that up... But, if that's correct, I'd make him march his little butt back to the dealership and return it!
Ditto!
Josh did this about a month ago. Well, sort of.
He had been talking about trading vehicles, looking at them, etc. Then all of a sudden he gets a "brilliant" idea - he would just buy new wheels (tires and some blingy ugly-ness to go in the middle in my opinion). I said no that that's not what we need to spend money on. We got back a pretty nice chunk for our income tax return, and already had it planned out. So much money would be spent on the house, so much for our savings, and we'd leave a little in our checking account. He kept talking about the wheels, and finally I'd heard enough. I told him not to get them, but to do what he thought was best for us. So he ends up buying the wheels after I'd repeatedly said no. So finally I asked how that was good for us. His response? It would make him want to keep the car and pay it off. Uhm, yeah. That's what should have happened WHEN YOU SIGNED THE NOTE on the car the day you bought it. That's like saying - hmm... I mailed the mortgage payment this morning, let me go buy myself a new Coach purse. I was so pissed. So now, we've put half the money in the bank that we were supposed to because the other half bought us wheels. At least now when he ticks me off the car can be his dog house - I can remind him over and over and over how stupid his choice was. PHEW. That was long. I said all of that to say I'd be mad too, and I totally feel your pain. We've had a long hard chat about it (after I didn't speak to him for two days), but really being mad doesn't do me any good considering he's already got what he wanted. But making him feel like crap for totally not respecting his wife - priceless.
OMFG! No you are not wrong. I think he's clearly forgetting the whole marriage thing when making his decisions. And to have purchased a manual is completely rude...if DH were to do that, he'd be driving that car f'g everywhere, every.single.time we had to go anywhere together!! That's some BS!
BTW, isn't there some kind of cancellation time frame to change his mind?! or does he happen to be one of those you cannot rationalize with??
I would be so pissed that I don't think I would be able to speak to him! And I would absolutely make him take it back. A car is a HUGE financial purchase and it should have been a joint decision, and the fact that he's done it before AND you just told him that now isn't a good time and he did it anyway just shows how he isn't respecting you at all right now.
I think DH would be sleeping at his mom's for a while... After he returned the damn car, of course...
UPDATE:
I continued not speaking to him yesterday. I got up super early and started raking leaves. Mya told him that I was outside raking leaves so he got up and started raking leaves at the other side of the yard. My dad came over at 10 am to pick me up to bring us to BRU to pick up the crib, etc. My dad could tell that there was something wrong so he waited until we got in his truck to ask. He told Josh to follow us. I totally vented to my dad and he just listened.
When we got to BRU, he was asking Josh about the car and then Josh left. Where do you think he went? To his appointment to go and pick up his car. He didn't even show up at the house to help us carry the furniture in the house. So here is pregnant Meg carrying the crib, changing table, and dresser up the stairs with her dad.
Josh gets home 3 hours later and says to me... do you want to see my car? I lost it again about how greedy he was and how dare he not help us carry in the furniture. He told me he doesn't understand what the problem is. I lost it again. Josh is in his own little bubble and he thinks that the car is a wonderful thing. Today I made him come back to BRU with me to buy some stuff and guess whose car we couldn't drive because the stuff wouldn't fit in the trunk. He also had to put the furniture together and help clean the house.
The worst part is, he grew up having the best of the best and feels that he shouldn't have to settle. His parents are so supportive of his decision of car. It's so different how I was brought up.
I can completely sympathize w/ you on that statement right there!!
Meg, I am sooo sorry that he's being a selfish douche%#*^. I cannot even begin to imagine how you are feeling & the raging emotions & hormones!!
BTW, I asked/told DH (the complete breadwinner in our family, I work because I want to) about your situation....and even he said he would not do what J did. Also, does your state not follow the typical 3 day right to cancel (or whatever it's called) on all major purchases?! Or is that not even an option since he seems to think he can do whatever he wants, when he wants w/out consulting his wife??
My heart goes out to you & hope that you guys can both get through this!
I don't think it's even so much the matter of the car itself, it's the point that he completely disregarded your thoughts on the matter.
Meg, I'd be livid and don't blame you for any of your feelings. You and Josh are supposed to make major decisions together, if you disagree, a compromise must be made. Plain and simple, he can't just go and do what he wants anymore. At this point, he's not only making decisions for himself.
Katy and Brett ~ Runaway Bay, Jamaica ~ October 4, 2008