Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
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Do you think this is selfish?

I recently had a miscarraige (2/14) at almost 10 weeks.  I just got AF and if my beta levels are down this week, DH and I will have the green light for TTC...

Several friends and family members have commented that it is "selfish" for DH and I to try this cycle because I would be due right before Christmas (IF I actually got KU on the 1st try). 

I was hoping you wonderful ladies could give me your honest opinions!  I know a few of you have "Christmas babies" yourselves, or maybe someone on here has a December birthday.  At this point, I just want a healthy brother or sister for DD!!!

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Re: Do you think this is selfish?

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    I think it's incredibly insensitive of your friends & family to even say something like that. 

     

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
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    Selfish?  No.  Do I think your friends and family who made the comments are as*es?  Yes.
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    I think it is selfish for anyone else to comment on your family planning. I would not share info like that in the future so people can't rain on your parade. That's just rude - I honestly can't imagine someone saying something like that.
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    No offense, but that is dumb. Just because a child's birthday would be around Christmas is no reason for that child to not have been born.

    DS's birthday next year will be on Thanksgiving. We will have to go to a bit more effort to make his bday a seperate and special occasion. The same with Christmas bdays. It takes a little more planning and effort, just because you have more presents to buy because joint christmas/bday gifts are just odd IMO, but that isn't a deal breaker to me.

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    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to be over, it's about learning how to dance in the rain." -Unknown

    Married 3-1-08  |  Nathan 11-24-08  |  Kaelyn 11-30-10  |  Alicia  8-17-13


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    Selfish?  I think not.  It is a choice that you and your DH are making.  Friends and Family need to mind their own business and be supportive while you and your DH TTC. 
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    I really don't get the big deal about birthdays around Christmas.  So it's not ideal.  TTC when you want and tell the naysayers to STFU.
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    imageMegGary:

    I think it's incredibly insensitive of your friends & family to even say something like that. 


    This.

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    imageMegGary:

    I think it's incredibly insensitive of your friends & family to even say something like that. 

     

    Thank you!  Most of them were the same people who commented (regarding the miscarraige) with either "well, it wasn't really a baby yet" Indifferent OR ""At least you know you can get pregnant."  Angry

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    OMFG they need to mind their own damnn business.

     My bday is Dec. 21. I got over it.

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    imageKeriMac:
    imageMegGary:

    I think it's incredibly insensitive of your friends & family to even say something like that. 

     

    Thank you!  Most of them were the same people who commented (regarding the miscarraige) with either "well, it wasn't really a baby yet" Indifferent OR ""At least you know you can get pregnant."  Angry

     

    Indifferent and Angry is right. WOW

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    WTF? How would that be selfish? I'm sorry for your loss and good luck getting KU again :)
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    I'm a December baby (the 1st, so more like Thanksgiving) and my sister is Dec. 17 - we never felt overlooked at all. I think your family needs to stay out of your bedroom business!

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    That is absolutely ridiculous. You cannot control really when you get pregnant. And you having a baby is a blessing. It would make Christmas even more special. THEY are the ones being selfish.

    You know what, take them off of your gift list. lol

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    As someone with a 12/22 child it's not selfish at all, but it does suck. But that's not to say I wouldn't do it again if I were to do it all over again. 
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    I wouldn't tell them anything regarding the topic anymore.  I am sure they thought they were being helpful in their m/c comments but I would have been livid... 

    They need to stop and think before speaking, IMO.  Plus, some serious lessons on tact.  Totally insensitive after a m/c...

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    My birthday is the 23rd. and there are alot of birthdays in my family in december. for me I would avoid any chances of having a full term baby in december, but this is a decision that is between you and DH. if you want to try to get PG again then that is your right and who are they to question it.
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    No, but I think your friends and family sound like jerks.

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    I think it's selfish of your friends to think they have any right to tell you when to TTC. Beyond that, no. If you're ready and comfortable with it, then that's all that matters.

    MIL's bday is Dec 15th, and her moms is Dec 24th.  Both of them thought it was no big deal, they always just had separate celebrations and presents for the bdays and christmas.

    There are holidays in almost every month. I always shared my bday celebrations with our Mother's day celebration. It's more about what you do with it than the calendar date.

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    Wow, they suck. And no, having a baby is never selfish. I'm sorry for your loss, good luck!
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    imagemeggiekins:

    I think it's selfish of your friends to think they have any right to tell you when to TTC. Beyond that, no. If you're ready and comfortable with it, then that's all that matters.

    MIL's bday is Dec 15th, and her moms is Dec 24th.  Both of them thought it was no big deal, they always just had separate celebrations and presents for the bdays and christmas.

    There are holidays in almost every month. I always shared my bday celebrations with our Mother's day celebration. It's more about what you do with it than the calendar date.

     

    I wish I had written this.  This exactly.  GL.

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    That is ridiculous. DS's birthday is 12/22 and while it might not be the absolute most ideal time to have a birthday, I don't really see any problems with it. We had his birthday party on 12/19 and no one had problems attending. No one wrapped his birthday presents in Christmas wrapping paper and his birthday was still all about him. I don't see any of this changing as he grows up either.

    I think some families suck at having December birthdays (they only give 1 gift when everyone else gets seperate b-day/Christmas, wrap b-day in Christmas wrapping paper, etc) but luckily we are not like that. DS will always have his own birthday and it will be seperate from Christmas.

    FYI- The date of my last period when I got pregnant was March 20th and my due date was Christmas Day (just in case you are trying to figure out exact dates). :)

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    That's ridiculous. Nothing wrong with December babies. C was born on Dec 29th and it's absolutely fine. Ignore them and conceive away!
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    my kid's birthday is the week before christmas. yeah, it kind of sucks (not so much for him, but for me... how's that for selfish!?) but's it's not anyone's business when you TTC.

     

    Pregnancy Ticker Nathan Robert 12.18.08
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    Go for it!  You guys deserve to have a successful pregnancy and give that sweet girl a sibling.  Tell everyone else to mind their own business!
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    I think you may be oversharing with your family. They shouldn't feel comfortable discussing the conception date of your future child with you.

    I'm sorry about your miscarriage and hope you get a bfp asap. :)

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    First of all, I'm sorry for your loss.

    Secondly, I'm not really understanding how having a baby around Christmas would be selfish on your part. Are they afraid there will be fewer gifts for them if a new baby arrives? I'm seriously asking. TTC when you and your DH feel it's right and tell everyone else to butt out.

     

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    Wow, I can't even begin to think how that could be thought of as selfish! What better gift than a newborn baby?????
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    Well I guess your Christmas list just got a whole lot shorter, huh?

    You're not being selfish at all.

    I have a December b'day, my mom was born on Christmas. It wasn't/isn't that big of a deal. The only thing I hated about having one is that the weather was always cold so parties were always held inside.

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    imageMegGary:

    I think it's incredibly insensitive of your friends & family to even say something like that. 

     

    exactly this!!!

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    ZOMG! Dont have a baby in January, April, July, September, October, November OR December then. Because there are major holidays in all of those months and you would be SO selfish to have a baby near a big holiday.

    My DS was born 12/10 (planned!), I was born 12/28(planned!), my bil was born 12/19 and my MIL was born 12/21. We all love our birthdays and enjoy that time of year.

    The only people who are selfish in this situation are people who have ZERO say in your reproductive plans trying to make you feel bad about a potential due date. 

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    My birthday is 12/17 and DD's is 12/10.  I'm not sure either is the "ideal" birthday, but its NBD either. 

    If people said *** like that to me, they wouldn't be my friends or family much longer. 

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    I really don't see how making a baby is selfish based on timing. That's ridiculous.
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    My birthday is December 15 and my oldest son is December 10. I always loved having a Christmas-time bday because were always festive and in a good mood. My other son iis Nov. 22 and I say I would love another December baby. I never felt slighted. I loved it ans still do.
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    imageElana71:

    That is absolutely ridiculous. You cannot control really when you get pregnant. And you having a baby is a blessing. It would make Christmas even more special. THEY are the ones being selfish.

    You know what, take them off of your gift list. lol

    I love this advice!!  You made me laugh, thank you!!

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    imageStellasmom:

    I think you may be oversharing with your family. They shouldn't feel comfortable discussing the conception date of your future child with you.

    I'm sorry about your miscarriage and hope you get a bfp asap. :)

    We tried to be super private about the pregnancy and we had JUST STARTED sharing when I m/c.  I haven't said a WORD to anyone about TTC at ALL, everyone just makes it there business to ask a put in their two sense.  They really are trying to show their concern, but it doesn't always translate. 

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    I definitely do not think it is selfish.  It is rude and inconsiderate of these friends and family members to make comments like this!  TTC whenever the heck you want to!  Good luck!! :)
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    We were talking about trying too.  Selfish, no?  Is it selfish for people to worry about giving each other presents and big parties on a holiday that really has nothing to do with that and is really all about the BIRTH of a baby and tell you that your baby would inconvenience them?  Hells yeah.  Tell them to f* themselves seriously.
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    One of my dearest friends has TWO kids born in December and somehow she manages to give both of them a fun birthday and have a fun Christmas as well.  My cousin's birthday is a couple of days after Christmas and it was always a fun time for a party after the Christmas letdown (not Christmas itself, but the time afterward when you don't have anything to look forward to anymore).  And a friend of mine has a son born on Christmas day.  They do a party on the weekend after Christmas. 
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    A) I am so sorry for your loss :( - you should check out TTCAL, there are a bunch of great women on that board.

    B) I didn't read the other responses so forgive me if I repeat...

    Your F&F have NO say in what you choose to do. Tell them to mind their own business. And for the record, NO it is not selfish.

     I'm hoping to have an "almost Christmas" baby too and I couldn't fathom anyone thinking I was being selfish.

    {{{hugs}}}

    Momma to three boys: Henry - 4yo Alex - 18mo Jack - born 2/23/12 at 20w due to ruptured uterus (previa and accreta resulting in hysterectomy) He only lived here on Earth for an hour, but he will live in our hearts forever. m/c #1: sept '09, m/c #2: july '10
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