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Parenting
I freaking HATE my sperm donor
As most of you probably know, my mom divorced my sperm donor when I was younger and when I was 9, we were adopted by our stepfather.
Anyway, over the years, we'd get random communication from SD (sperm donor) or his family (who were told they were MORE than welcome to continue a relationship with us after the adoption but chose not to). The last time I heard from him was when I was in college, and he had found my college email on the my school's website. He emailed, I didn't respond, b/c he's a f*cking waste of space.
A few years ago, my younger brother saw him when he was in SD's area. Well, yesterday he friended my brother on facebook, and my brother accepted it, which is fine - I don't care what my brother does and I think not only does he remember less of the absolute torment we went through when we visited SD but it just doesn't affect him.
So he wrote on my brother's wall today, and of course, it just makes me want to punch something. His stepdaughter (I think he may have adopted her at some point after we were out of his life) is apparently having a baby so he's finally going to be a grandpa! YAY for him. Stupid f*cker. I wish I could kick him in the nuts, or at the very least tell him what I think of him.
Obviously I have unresolved feelings towards him - he chose his new wife's family over his own kids, and even though I know I am better off it still pisses me off when I see something like that. It's just so hard for me to understand how he could have given up his kids.
I wish I could tattoo "I am a giant douchebag" on his forehead.
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Re: I freaking HATE my sperm donor
I cannot tell you how much I relate to this. My father chose his new wife's family over my brother and I--twice. (He's on his 3rd marriage). His latest wife has 6 grandchildren he dotes over, but he doesn't know my DD or my niece. Disgusting.
I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this, too. It's really, really tough.
He sucks at life.
Thanks y'all.
I just think it's become even harder on me since I now have kids of my own. For me to give them up, you'd have to pry them from my cold, dead hands.
It's just difficult, b/c I so clearly remember him telling us during our last visit to him "call Steve (stepfather - now my dad) and ask him to adopt you." Like, whoTF does that to a 9 year old (and a 7 and 5 year old). I don't think my brother's remember that stuff at all. I mean, they know it, but they don't remember it.
::hugs::
I am so sorry=(
So sorry. I totally know what it feels like to have a parent who treats you like crap like that.
Like you, I know I am better off to just involve her in as little of my life as possible, but it is still hard and it still hurts.
He sounds like a really big jerk! I have a crap dad too so I can relate to what you are saying. It is amazing how little comments or small interactions can ignite such feelings. I got a birth announcement of the baby he adopted (he's 54!!) last year. I just wanted to call the adoption agency to tell them he shouldn't be allowed to be the father to anymore children. He didn't take care of the 4 he had. But I digress...
I'm really sorry you are dealing with this and he really is the one missing out!
Ryan 5/2010, Kyle 1/2007, Eric 3/2005
I'm sorry
I think you might actually be able to block him though. That way you won't ever have to see anything he posts, even if it's in a reply to something one of your FB friends (like your brother) says. If you click his name, then in the left colum, click Report/Block, then choose the block option. Everything about him should be hidden from then on in FB.
Awesome, thanks, Dai! I will definitely do that.
At this point, it's definitely my preference to keep him out of my life - I'm pretty sure if I initiated contact w/ him he'd reciprocate, but I'm not willing to forgive and forget and I doubt I ever will be. Blocking him will definitely make this easier on me.
he TOTALLY does. My dad is a fabulous grandfather (and father for that matter) - he and Jackson are best buddies.
Thanks again, everyone.