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Pregnant after a Loss
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Stepmother vent

AmysMelodyAmysMelody
in Pregnant after a Loss

She needs to relax.  They live in Indiana and we live in CT, so they have to fly to come see us.  My due date is the 27th and they (she and my dad) are planning on coming on April 9th.  I don't want anyone to come and stay with us any earlier than that because I would like a week or so to just get used to being a mom and not have to worry about company staying in our house.  But she sends an email to my godmother asking who was "covering the shift" until they got here on the 9th.  Insinuating that we would need to have someone come stay with us immediately after the baby is here.  I know that she's just trying to make sure that we have the help we need, but she's also saying that we couldn't possibly do it on our own.

Yes - I'm bitter.  I miss my mother (who passed away in '04) and I wish that it was her coming insead of my stepmom.  But I feel like she's always stepping in and wanting to take over the situation when I'm not even close to her and I wish she would just come visit, hold the baby, take pictures, and LEAVE!

I told DH that there's a big difference between coming to VISIT the baby and coming to HELP with the baby.  If she's visiting, she's welcome, but if she's coming to help, I really don't want her advice on child rearing. 

I know - I'm being a snob.  Vent over!

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Re: Stepmother vent

  • vlewis515vlewis515 member
    I completely agree with you if it helps at all!!
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  • Nikkicole007Nikkicole007 member
    I understand what you're saying and I think your feeling are completely justified. I hope you are able to find a way to voice your wishes and hopefully she'll leave you guys alone a little bit. Your the momma!
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  • lil_rhodylil_rhody member
    My mother has started the same thing, except she's specifically said she's just coming to play with the baby and not help! I told her straight out she wasn't invited, but she doesn't care. People just stink sometimes.
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  • black.katblack.kat member

    Yuck.  This sucks.  I haven't been in your situation, but I can imagine.  If my mom wasn't here and my dad married someone, I would feel the exact same way...

    I think that you need to talk to your dad about this and tell him how you feel, especially about how you feel about missing your mom.  Missing a mom that has passed away, or any loved one, DOES NOT have a time limit and your are totally entitled to how you feel.  You step-mom should be more careful and think about how you feel.

    Just know that you have the right to feel how you feel and you are not being a snot or anything like that...

    GL - lots of hugs and congrats!!!  Your wait is almost over....

    oh and be happy that she doesn't live by you... holy crap what a nightmare!

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