Childcare woes -- WWYD?

KristelRobin · March 2010

When I went to pick up Keira on Friday, I got some bad news. The nanny we share gave her two week notice. I can't blame her at all -- she got a job with a family that will pay her a higher salary and provide benefits, so I'm really happy for her.

I was definitely crying a lot this weekend, though (over that, plus the stress with work and the house thing). I'm not sure what to do. Our half of the nanny's salary was only $6.00 per hour (about $1000 per month). We could most likely find an in-home daycare that would be even cheaper than that. Or we could go with a center. There's one that a couple of people at work use, and if they have an opening, it will be about $1200 per month, and I would feel comfortable about trusting them with Keira, but it's a lot of kids, and I worry about how much individualized attention she would get.

OR, we could hire a nanny that costs around $12 per hour, and post an ad trying to find someone to share with. Problem is, we don't know how long it would be before we found someone to share with, and until then, we'd have to pay the entire salary. DH did just start working full-time (1st paycheck next week), but I/we wanted to use that money to try and catch up on bills and start getting ahead, not turn around and pay it to someone else. But I'm so used to Keira getting that individualized attention and being with the same person (who she ADORES) everyday. So my *heart* wants to do this, although my brain says no, get an in-home daycare.

Sorry for the long post. What would you do?

stever · March 2010

I don't know what I'd do. I'd want the nanny, but would find paying $12000 a year(while waiting for someone to share with) realllllllly hard to swallow.

Sorry that's no help whatsoever.

Left Hug

Kandie35 · March 2010

I have learned first-hand that you get what you pay for. Ari was in a fantastic jewish preschool since he was about 20months( i know, not daycare but it is similar), but it was so hard to pay it every month this past year b/c finances have been so ridiculously tight, so i took him out and put him in an inexpensive preschool. I hate it there and as soon as the year is over I was planning to pull him and put him back in the other preschool b/c it is worth every dollar. (we're moving now so none of that means anything, but you get what I am saying). If you *can* afford it, even if it is difficult, it is worth it to go with your heart.

JenniferTCU · March 2010

Kristel, I am so very sorry you're faced with this. Like Kandie, I'd probably go with your heart and get the best care for little K that you can afford. Hopefully a really good situation will come up that will be the answer to the problems! I will be thinking of you.

rnmobile · March 2010

We use an in home day care and our son gets alot of attention, as well as great socialization. We love our day care lady, and are very thankful to have her. Its very possible you will find someone else you love. On the other hand, we tried a center first, and I took him out after one day. Take a look around, you may find a daycare that works perfect for you. It is a bummer about your nanny tho!

futurebabymama · March 2010

I think I missed why the family you currently share with isn't an option? I'm feel so bad for you though - I would be heartbroken if we lost out nanny.

Pesky · March 2010

I pay through the nose for our center. My daycare monthly bills seriously rivals my mortgage. Good daycare is worth the cost. Go visit some of the places and go with your gut. GL!!

richelle021 · March 2010

Ooof... That is a toughie, but I agree w/ PPs. It's worth the cost if it gives you peace of mind.

Moiselle · March 2010

I'm sorry, but I wouldnt know what to do either. Maybe you can just bite the bullet for a short period. And after, see if its working for you. And if its not, then hire $12 nanny?

M.Amy · March 2010

As asked before why isn't the current family okay to share going forward?

I do believe that things can work out as long as you are prepared for them not to! I agree about the individual attention of a nanny but there are some very good daycare centers as well.

jlw2505 · March 2010

I have used a center since my older DD was 12 weeks and personally love it. At my center, the infant room has a ton of teachers plus other staff often drop in on breaks to help out and the manangement staff is typically in off and on during the day. A teacher at most, only has 4 kids and they all nap at different times. My kids got amazing care than as they do now in the older rooms. The teachers are wonderful and really do give the kids the attention they need plus they are around other kids around the same age, so they get the socialzation skills they would miss out on with a nanny. The educational program is wonderful. The hours are great and they never close due to the sitter/nanny being sick. Since I started there 3 1/2 years ago, they have never closed for weather. For my family, it has been an amazing choice and one we would never regret or change but I know a center doesn't meet the needs of everyone, just wanted to share my positive experience.,

KristelRobin · March 2010

M.Amy:

As asked before why isn't the current family okay to share going forward?

I do believe that things can work out as long as you are prepared for them not to! I agree about the individual attention of a nanny but there are some very good daycare centers as well.

Sorry, I should have explained that! The other mom is a grad student. So when we got the news, she decided that it might make more sense for them to put their DS in an in-home daycare temporarily, because when summer rolls around, she won't be subsidized, will be home a lot more often and they might not be able to afford/need a nanny then. So rather than split up in 3 months, it makes more sense for us to do it now.

Anyway, thanks for all of the opinions and advice ladies! After talking it through with DH last night, we decided to look for another nanny. We probably are being a little overprotective, but it's just hard to imagine her at a center with all of those other kids, because we worry she won't get enough attention.

The points about the benefits of going to a center are well-taken. The longer hours would definitely be nice. And regarding socialization: We started the nanny share when Keira was 14 1/2 months, and she still wasn't walking. She could stand up on her own, and balance for long periods of time, but when it came time to move, you could see her thinking about it, and deciding to crawl. Within ONE WEEK of being watched with a 13 month old who could walk, she started walking. I know that's not a coincidence. Also, maybe if she went to a daycare center and was around toddlers who can talk, she would start talking. But deep down, I just don't feel comfortable with it right now, and neither does DH. It might be tight for awhile, but we'll cut back in other areas if we have too.

On a positive note, I posted a job description on Care.com, and by this morning, I already had 15 responses from nannies wanting to apply. Overwhelming! DH wants to narrow it down to 5 before we actually interview anyone.

Kandie35 · March 2010

KristelRobin:
On a positive note, I posted a job description on Care.com, and by this morning, I already had 15 responses from nannies wanting to apply. Overwhelming! DH wants to narrow it down to 5 before we actually interview anyone.

Awesome! Yes