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3rd Trimester
Had my baby! Warning: kind of scary birth story
LO finally arrived Saturday morning at 10:08 am, 51 hours after my water broke. Warning: If you are planning a natural birth, you might not want to read this. I 100% prepared for a natural birth and I remember how I hated these stories. This is probably a scary birth story, but at the same time, it was so amazing, and the reward at the end was wonderful. I don't want to scare anyone, I just want to share my story.
I have a few minutes while I am eating breakfast (yes breakfast, lol) and LO is snuggling with his auntie, so here it is: My water broke at 4:30 am Thursday morning. We arrived at the hospital at 7am. My midwife gave me 24 hours with no intervention for labor to start on its own, but nothing was happening. Finally they checked me for the first time and I was not at all dialated for effaced. Baby was -3 station. Basically I was nowhere. I was disappointed but ready to get the show on the road.
My midwife started cytotec at about 7am Friday morning, and I started contracting regularly 5-8 minutes apart, but the contractions were very mild. I did have to be continuously monitored at that point and got an IV, which were two things that I didn't want, but at that point it was ok with me. I got to be off the monitors every 2 hours, which was nice, but the IV does limit movement quite a bit. It is not easy to drag those poles around. With the cytotec, they had to check me every 4 hours and reapply. After three checks, I was still not dialated, and about 20% effaced and long. LO did not descend. At this point, I made the decision to start pitocin. I had an little emotional breakdown. It was a hard decision for me to make because I was afraid of the pit, and I knew I was so far from my natural birth plan, I felt like a total failure. I cried for a while, and the nurses, midwife and my DH talked my through it and reassured me that it was what I had to do my my LO, because it was time for him to come out. So around 8pm Friday night, we started pitocin. I started having more painful contractions right away, 3-5 minutes apart, but they were very tolerable. My doula showed up and we started using the hypnobirthing techniques to breath through the pain. I felt pretty good about getting through the contractions, and was feeling positive that I could still go without an epi at that point. I was even able to sleep a bit (fitfully) between 12am and 2am.
When I woke up at 2am, all of a sudden the contractions were hitting much much harder. I was also having back labor, which was like a bad backache that wrapped around my abdomin to my back. I could no longer talk or walk through contractions, and had to focus. Contractions were about 2-3 minutes apart, but I still felt like I could manage it. Between 2am and 4am, the contractions got progressively worse and closer together until they were less than 2 minutes apart, and the pain was worse than anything I'd ever felt. They hypnobirthing was helping to keep my calm, but I was praying that I was in transition. I started vomiting and having diareah (at the same time!), and my modesty went out the window. I had to moan to get through the contractions. It was so much more painful than I had imagined. My midwife checked me and told me I was only 4cm, but 100% effaced.
And that is when I lost it. I have never felt so scared and discouraged in my life. All I could think was "only 4 cm, I still have 8 hours of this". I dont' know why 8 hours was stuck in my head, lol. I asked for an epi right away, but my DH and doula talked me out of it and told me to get in the tub (this was around 5am I think). So I got in the tub and tried to work through the pain. Contractions were coming about a minute apart, but I got no break between because of the back labor and continous abdominal pain that didn't stop between contractions. I was so exhausted from the pain that I could not lift myself out of the tub. I don't know how to describe the pain of intense contractions, so I won't try - other than to say that there is an unbearable amount of pressure, like you are trying to hold an elephant inside you.
At that time, I told my DH that I wanted an epi and I was 100% serious. By the time the epi guy arrived it was about 7. Waiting to get the saline drip in and for him to set up, was the longest half hour of my life. I thought I was going to lose it and start screaming, but I used the hypnobirthing as much as possible and managed to lay still on the table. The epi finally started working by 8 am, and I can honestly say it was the best decision I have ever made in my life. The relief was so intense I want to cry just thinking about it! I couldn't feel anything! I slept from 8am to 10am.
My midwife didn't check me (only the one time at 4cm) because of how long my water had been broken. They were monintoring my contraction patterns, and at 10am they decided to check because they thought I might be ready to push. Well, the baby had already crowned when they checked me!! He crowned while I was sleeping. My midwife quickly changed her shirt while the nurse rushed to get the table set up for delivery. About 5 minutes later, they put my legs up on the table and lifted my blanket. Then they saw that LO's head and shoulder were out! He delivered himself! I felt only a slight tug as they pulled his body out. It was incredible. The nurse said she'd only seen that happen before a handful of times in 30 years of nursing. I was so surprised that I couldn't believe it and before I knew it he was on my chest, crying. We were in love immediately. They dryed him off a little, and we snuggled skin to skin, then tried to breastfeed. After a while, they took him and gave him a bath and we've been together ever since.
LO is a little early, so he has a hard time latching, but we are working hard at breastfeeding, and I'm pumping and finger feeding to get his sucking practice in. He has a disorganized suck because he's very sleepy. He also won't sleep in his bassinet, but if I lay him on the bed next to me, he goes to sleep. He loves to be held, but I don't mind, I love being with him.
being a new mom is 100x harder than I thought it would be, but it is also the best thing that ever happened to me. The hormones are also pretty intense and I have cried at least 5 or 6 times in the last 24 hours. I won't give any advice here, because I really don't feel like I know what I'm doing at all - but I will say one thing that I've realized with all my heart in the last couple days. When other moms give advice, they probably aren't doing it to be annoying, they are probably doing it because of knowing the way it feels to watch LO cry and not know quite what to do, or because of finally finding that one thing that makes it all so much easier - and there is a desire to just reach out to all the other new moms and say "look - this might help, I want to share this".
Good luck to all of you still waiting, and if you are trying to go natural, I hope that it works for you, and I hope that my story doesn't discourage you. Just because this is what I went through, doesn't mean that you will experience birth anything like what I did. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, everything changes so much in such a short time when LO comes!!
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Re: Had my baby! Warning: kind of scary birth story
Wow, that's a tough labor right there. Good job pushing through it, mama. And congratulations!
Thanks for the honest insight into your feelings, too...good to hear.
BIO
Congrats mama, and welcome to the world baby boy! Don't feel bad, your birth story absolutely would not discourage anyone. I think you did great with a super long labor, and you and LO are both healthy and that's what matters most.
And don't worry... the first few weeks are hard, but being a mom just comes naturally. Soon you'll be able to distinguish cries that no one else can- it's a mommy thing
Congrats again!
What a great birth story. I'm sorry it wasn't the birth you had hoped for, but it is great that you were able to be flexible and work with the situation as it developed. You did a fantastic job! Congrats.
Liam is 5!