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Cousin induced at 20 weeks

RandomLurkerRandomLurker member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
My cousin and her DH found out at their 20 week appt that their son was not developing (had a half a brain and other issues).  They made the agonizing decision to deliver their baby now rather than later.  Clearly they are devastated.  I am not close with her currently, but was in the past.  I sent her an email letting her know that she was in our thoughts and prayers.  We were thinking about making a donation to somewhere (ideas?) in their son's name.  Is it too soon for that?  We don't know what to do but we don't want to ignore what happened.  Should we do anything?  Any advice is appreciated. 
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Re: Cousin induced at 20 weeks

  • TrickyLittleMinxTrickyLittleMinx

    My T&P are with you and your family!

    I know that the March of Dimes is a great organization !! Check out their website!

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  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member
    I'm sorry for your cousin's loss.  I asked everyone to make a donation to the March of Dimes in Aidan's name the day after he passed.  Send a card. She most likely won't reach out to anyone for awhile so every once in awhile check on her. Right now she probably has a lot of support which helps a lot, but in the next few weeks she'll feel alone so let her know that she's still in your thoughts and prayers.  Also let her know about this board. The women here are fantastic and such a good support group.
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  • chuleysnacketychuleysnackety
    No recommendations unfortunatley,only that your cousin and you will be in my prayers..
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  • Mrs.AlbieMrs.Albie member
    I'm so sorry to hear this sad news.  T & Ps for your family during this difficult time.  I agree that the March of Dimes would be an excellent organization to donate to. 
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  • Aubs0009Aubs0009 member
    I would also agree with March of Dimes . .. .they are a great organization and they really do help a lot of babies. My thoughts are with your cousin.

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     Ayla 10/02/2013, 10:14 am, 6lbs 14oz, 19.25 inches long
    Missed Miscarriage 6w3d 3/02/2010
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  • betizzle73betizzle73
    I just want to elaborate on what Magdalina said above - I remember being bombarded with e-mails, cards, facebook messages etc. in the days following right after Olivia passed away, which don't get me wrong, was great. But, after a few weeks, it felt like everyone else had moved on and those kinds of things stopped. Definitely let her know that she's in your thoughts and prayers now, but make sure you say/do something again in a few weeks. In my opinion, the most helpful thing you can do is let her know that you still think about her child.
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  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member

    imagebetizzle73:
    I just want to elaborate on what Magdalina said above - I remember being bombarded with e-mails, cards, facebook messages etc. in the days following right after Olivia passed away, which don't get me wrong, was great. But, after a few weeks, it felt like everyone else had moved on and those kinds of things stopped. Definitely let her know that she's in your thoughts and prayers now, but make sure you say/do something again in a few weeks. In my opinion, the most helpful thing you can do is let her know that you still think about her child.

    I couldn't agree more! I know personally it made me feel like everyone had already forgotten about Aidan.

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  • PuppinsPuppins member
    I had to deliver my triplets at 19.5 weeks. The hospital actually had a program for families who lose their babies- We asked people to donate to that in lieu of flowers... Maybe she has something in mind like that already?
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