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Working Moms
monica_geryd
member
Potty Training and Working
monica_geryd
member
in Working Moms
Hello! I'm a newbie and I have a 2y/o DD who I'm dying to get potty trained. Can anyone please give me some advice on how to potty train my DD while my DH work full-time? Her daycare says they're on board for whatever method we choose. I didn't even know there were methods! Eek! We've bought big girl panties and she loves to sit on the potty - she just doesn't always recognize when she has to go. We're also TTC #2, so even more reason I'd like to get her out of diapers! Yes - I know, it has to be on her time and when she's ready! 
Thanks!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Potty Training and Working
I did Potty Training in three days when DS was 27 mos old and it worked. We trained night and day at the same time. He was nowhere near ready, as he would scream and cry every time I tried to put him on the potty and this method worked. I had pulled him out of daycare (really bad situation) and the Montessori school I was putting him in required potty trained as criteria for admission. It was tough, but in the end a really good decision. I have to admit, I was ready to give up halfway into the training but stuck with it, figuring what did I have to lose? The best part was I got pg six weeks after he was trained and it is so easy now having only one in diapers. A friend posted it on FB. I will put a copy below. The only part I didn't do, was the tell them they were gross part. I just didn't have the heart, when I tried the first time and he looked so hurt. So I eliminated that on my own. I did it on a holiday weekend, and by Tuesday he was trained. He only had two accidents at night. Daytime he would occasionally have two-three accidents a week at first, but it was not bad. GL to you!
From FB, author unknown:
"At What Age Should I Start Potty Training?
One of the biggest mistakes a parent can make in potty training is waiting too
long to start. In my experience, virtually all children can be potty trained at the
age of 22 months and can be trained in as few as three days.
I get many moms and dads that say that their child doesn't talk well or they
don't understand everything that is said to them. Let me just say that your
child does not need to know how to talk well! He or she does not need to
be able to say "Mommy, I need to go to the bathroom because I need to use
the potty." Baby talk and non-verbal communication work just as well.
Children with Apraxia of Speech can also be potty trained using this
method. My fifth child, now 4 years old, has Childhood Apraxia of Speech and
was potty trained at 22 months old in under 3 days using this method. To this
day (remember he is 4 years old) he has a vocabulary of about 50 words (many
are sounds - not actual words) and he doesn?t have any problem taking himself
to the bathroom.
Your child must not be going to bed with a bottle or cup. This is very
important. Besides the fact that it?s very unhealthy for a child to sleep with a
bottle or cup, it?s impossible for your child to wake up dry. Please make sure
your child is broke from this habit before starting to potty train.
For those parents that would like to potty training their child under the age of
22 months there is a test you can do to check to see if your child is ready. This
test only needs to be done if your child is under the age of 22 months old.
Test Steps
? Stop giving your child liquids about 2 hours before bedtime.
? Put a clean diaper on your child just before putting them down for bed.
? In the morning, just before your child wakes up, check the diaper. If
your child?s diaper is dry then your child is ready to potty train.
If your child is older then 22 months then your child is old enough to be potty
trained. But are you ready?
Are you Ready?
I know that sounds like a funny question to be asking because it?s the child
that?s being potty trained but honestly, are you ready?
The reason I ask this question is because many parents will jump into this
without fully giving it their all or being truly prepared. To follow my method
you must be willing to follow it completely and to be mentally prepared for
what will come.
You must mentally and emotionally be prepared to have an ugly mess on your
hands. Let?s face it; changing potty diapers is much easier than changing potty
underwear.
Plain and Simple ? Potty training is going to be one of the most emotional,
stressful, frustrating and difficult things you will do in a very long time. The
good news is that at least with my method you will only have three days of this
instead of months!
If you?re a working mother, you will need to take time off from work. You will
need three full days to work with your child.
If you?re a stay at home mom and have other little ones at home, you might
want to get someone to tend to them during the training. It?s important that
you focus on the one child being potty trained and not get distracted with the
other children. This isn?t always possible but it does help.
You must be prepared to give up all your fun ?distractions? for three days.
Things like the internet, the television, long bubble baths, reading or anything
else that will distract you from giving your child 100% of your attention. It?s
only three days but it?s hard to pull ourselves away from the computer these
days!
Please do not start this method until you are completely prepared for this.
Starting this method and then giving up in the middle of it will only send mixed
signals to your child. When you start, you must not quit. Be 100% committed!
Pre-Training Prep Work
I wish I could say that you had no prep work before you started potty training
but I just can?t. There are a few very important things you will need to do to
make sure you have potty training success."
Sorry, here is the rest, and I apologize for the formatting issue:
1) You will need to pick the three days when you know you will have no
interruptions. You will need the full three days to dedicate to this so
arrange with your husband or other family members to take over the
other household duties.
2) Have dinner planned ahead. Order take-out or have something already
made and ready for the oven.
3) A week or two before you start this potty training method you should
start really getting grossed out when you change your child?s diaper. Say
things like yuck, gross, sticky and make funny faces like you can?t stand
the smell. Don?t laugh about it even if your child does. It?s suppose to
be GROSS.
4) If you have used other methods and have not had success and are now
trying this method you will need to give the potty training a break first.
Stop talking about the potty and using the potty. Only let them use it if
they ask. Just give it a break. Start fresh with this method after a couple
of weeks.
5) Again, be mentally and emotionally prepared for this. Be ready to be
consistent.
Items Needed Before Starting
You might already have these items in your home. If you do, that is super. If
you don?t have these items you can easily find them at your local discount
store.
Potty Chair - You can purchase a potty chair if you like. I have always
purchased one each time I have potty trained but most of my kids have
preferred the big toilet. I still like having the little potty on hand. You can also
try a potty seat to put on the big toilet. I have personally never tried one of
these but some moms swear by them.
Training pants - I?m sure you already know that you will need underwear but
you probably need more then what you think. You will need LOTS of them, at
least 20 pair. Let your child go with you to the store to help pick some of them
out. Do not purchase Pull-Ups! These are a waste of money and will confuse
your child. If you?re going to use my method you can not use Pull-Ups. You
also need to make sure you buy regular underwear, not the padded kind. I
think the padded ones are called ?Training Pants?. Training pants will also
confuse your child so please do not purchase these.
You don?t need to buy all the same size underwear. You can purchase some
that are a size or two bigger then what they need. After you are finished potty
training you can put the bigger ones away until they grow into them.
I?ve had many moms write to ask if they could use rubber pants, training pants
or pull-ups for night time or for going places. The answer is always no. You
shouldn?t be going anywhere during the three days of training and after the
three days, there won?t be a need.
Moist Bathroom Wipes - These are not a must but they do make clean up
much easier. You don?t want to use or bring up the word ?baby wipes? as you
are training your child to be a ?Big Kid?. You can buy these wipes and have
them in the bathroom for a couple of days so your child knows those are big
people wipes.
Liquids - Lots of liquids will be needed. Make sure to have plenty of your
child?s favorite drinks on hand. Water, juices, juice boxes, Kool-Aid, soda,
popsicles, flavored waters or any other drink your child enjoys. Let them help
you mix it, pour it add ice to it, drink it from a straw, you want to keep them
drinking so mix things up a little.
Water is always best and some parents worry about lots of sugar. If you are
worried about the sugar then please try sugar-free items. I personally don?t
recommend drinking lots of milk during the process but if you can?t get your
child to drink anything else then go ahead.
Snacks - You will need to get snacks/treats. I like 100% fruit juice snacks but
you can do your choice of snacks, be it fruit, cookies or anything else. A salty
snack sometimes help them drink more so you can also use pretzels, crackers
or celery filled with peanut butter. Wal-Mart has smiley face fruit snacks; they
come ten packs in a box for under a dollar.
The last bit...
Let?s Get Started!
My method is for both day and nighttime. I think it?s important to do both day
and nighttime training at the same time to avoid confusion in the child. I will
go into dealt about what to do during the day and during the night. Please
repeat the steps during the three days of training.
Daytime Training
So today is the day! You have no distractions and you have prepared yourself
and your child. I want to start by saying that I?m proud of you for taking this
step. Potty Training is a lot of work but if you are dedicated and consistent the
training process will go very fast.
To start you will need to make sure that everything is in order.
? Have your potty chair set up in your bathroom. I personally do not like
having the little potty chair in the living room or kitchen. The child
needs to learn to run to the bathroom. That?s where we need to teach
them to do their thing.
? Both you and your child should eat breakfast. Make sure to offer plenty
of liquid to your child while he/she is eating.
? Personally be ready for the day ? Showered, teeth brushed, gone to the
bathroom. You don?t want anything pulling you away from training
once you?ve started.
? Your child is only in a t-shirt and his/her diaper. Don?t have pants or a
dress on the child. It?s harder to see the accidents when they have them
on.
Once these things are done you?re ready to start the potty training.
Put the underwear on the child and tell them that they are ?Big Boy/Girl
Pants?. Make sure you call them that. Be sure to tell the child how big they
look and how proud you are of them for being so big. They like being called
big so remember to call your child a big boy or big girl often. Tell your child
that they must keep their underwear dry.
Now you will need to take your child and have them throw away all the unused
diapers. All of them!! You have to do this for you and for your little one.
There is NO going back now. Tell your child that they don?t need those yucky
baby diapers anymore. They?re BIG and all grown up! If at anytime your child
says he wants the diaper tell him that they are all gone. Make sure you stick to
this. They might ask or even cry for them because of the comfort they have
with them. After all, they?ve been wearing them for almost 2 years!!
Bring your child into the bathroom with you and get down to his/her leave.
Explain to your child the purpose of the potty chair. Tell your child that it?s
used to put pee and potty in and if he needs to go pee or potty that he needs to
go in the potty and not in is new underwear. There is not need for a power
struggle here. If your child cries at this point and says no, do not react just take
them out of the bathroom and go to the next step.
Talk with your child about being wet and dry. Do not ask your child if he?s
wet, as you have already told your child that he must stay dry. The focus will
be on the child staying dry not wet. Remember to have the child check
frequently. Each time your child checks their underwear and they are dry,
really praise them. Make sure your child knows how proud you are of him/her
for keeping the underwear ?dry?.
Tell your child to ?tell mommy/daddy when you have to go pee because you?re
a big boy/girl.? Make sure not to just ?ask? the child if they need to go
because you will probably always get the answer ?no?. Instead try saying
something like ?You?re such a big girl. Mommy is so proud of you. Be sure to
tell mommy when you have to go, OK!? This will make the child think he has
the control but it?s really you asking him if he needs to go. Also remember to
have your child check for dryness. You should be having the child check for
dryness and telling them to tell you if they need to go every couple of minutes.
You want to keep this in their mind at all times.
Start offering your child their favorite liquids. Never stop offering them the
liquids. Have them drink all day. If they seem tired of one kind of liquid, try
another. Add ice, add food coloring, make popsicles, give them popsicles
and/or drink from a different cup. Switch it up. Make it new and exciting.
The more they drink the more they will need to go to the bathroom, which
means more opportunities to train.
Spend your day with the child. Get on the floor and play games, sit with your
child to watch their favorite program on TV. If the weather is good you can
play in the backyard (as long as bathroom isn?t a mile away). Color with the
child, clean the toy box with the child. Anything goes as long as you are right
by the child?s side. You must not leave the child?s side. Staying with the
child is the key to this program. It?s so important to catch them in the act of
going pee or pooping each and EVERY TIME. The more you catch your child
in the act the faster the training will go.
If your child is willing you can do role playing on what to do when they need to
go pee or potty. Some kids like this and others do not. I never done role
playing during potty training with my own kids but I?ve role played in other
areas of parenting and it?s been successful.
When you see your child peeing or pooping in their pants, pick your child up in
the middle of them going and run them to the bathroom and sit them on the
toilet as fast as you can. Have them finish on the toilet. When you are picking
them up don?t yell or call them bad. Just say ?Yuck, your underwear is wet and
that?s gross. You?re a big boy/girl; you?re supposed to go pee/potty in the big
boy/girl potty and keep your underwear dry.?
If the child finishes in the toilet say ?Good boy/girl, I knew you could do it.?
Now give them a snack. Don?t say the snack is for going pee or pooping in the
toilet.
You will repeat this over and over with each accident. Accidents are part of the
training. Accidents help the training process succeed faster because it gives you
the chance to show your child what to do and what not to do.
Don?t ever make the child just sit on the toilet. This is a mistake a lot of
parents make. They get so discouraged about the child peeing in their pants
that they place them on the toilet and say that they are staying there until they
go. Please do not do this. This causes the child to be scared of using the toilet
and view the toilet as a punishment. If you make them just sit on the potty it
will make the training harder and take longer.
You will probably need to do laundry if you don?t have enough underwear. My
oldest son went through 46 pairs of underwear his first day. It?s ok and doesn?t
mean that your child isn?t getting it. It will ?click? for your child if you stay
positive and stay consistent.
When your child does tell you that he/she needs to go pee or potty, run with
your child to the toilet and let them go. When they go, you need to go ?crazy?.
Jump up and down and tell them how big they are and how proud you are of
them. Tell them that they are so grown up. Keep clapping your hands and
really make them feel good about themselves. Once they are done going you
need to tell them ?let?s call daddy at work? or ?let?s call grandma?. Call anyone
that will praise your child for being so big. The child needs to see and feel how
great of an act it was for them to go in the potty.
You will always act with great joy each and every time they go pee or potty in
the toilet.
My boys liked sitting backwards on the toilet because they don?t feel as if they
are going to fall in. This works well for both boys and girls.
Naptime
Yes it?s ok to put your child down for a nap during training. I personally have
found that most kids will not have an accident if you have them go pee before
the nap and then just as they wake up.
Nighttime Training
About 2 - 3 hours before bedtime you will want to limit liquids or stop them
completely. Have your child go pee on the potty chair before going to bed for
the night. You might have a little wait on your hands and some ?role playing?
before they go but once they go you can put them in bed then follow these
steps:
? 30 minutes after your child has gone to sleep wake him/her and have
them go pee and put them back to bed.
? Just before you go to bed, wake the child again and have them go pee
again and put them back down.
? 30 minutes before your child usually wakes up in the morning, wake him
and have him go pee in the toilet.
What these steps do is train your child to wake and go pee when he has the
urge. You do not need to do these steps if your child usually wakes up dry
anyway.
If the child does have an accident in the middle of the night, get up and change
the sheets making sure to say yucky the whole time and tell the child to tell you
when he needs to go pee. Put the child back down for the night.
Day 2 and 3
Repeat all steps making sure to stay consistent.
What About Pooping?
Potty Training for ?pee? and ?potty? should happen simultaneously as they will
be taught the same way and at the same time.
However, some children have a hard time with going ?potty? when they are
first potty trained. If the regular method doesn?t work for the pooping part, try
the following: Sit down with your child and have him help you make a chart.
Tell him that you will give him a star for each time he goes poop in the potty.
Let him know that after he gets 10 stars he will get a ??.? (Make it something
he really wants.)
My best advice though is to stay consistent, give a high fiber diet to help keep
things from getting ?tight? and to catch them in the act each and every time.
With any and all ?pooping? accidents you should REALLY overreact to the
mess. Overreact more then you do about the pee messes. Make sure to keep
reacting to the mess the whole time you are cleaning it up. Don?t make them
think you are upset with him, but that you are disappointed about having to
clean up all that mess.
Consistency
I have found that consistency is the reason why some parents can potty train
faster then others. Consistency is crucial to your child?s potty training success.
If you truly want potty training to be successful and quick then you as the
parent must be willing to be consistent and follow through.
Children pick up on things faster when conditions remain consistent. When
you are not consistent with your child, he or she will get the idea that it?s ok to
do things wrong. If you always remain consistent then your child will
understand what is expected of them and they will potty train much faster.
If you can?t be consistent with your child you will find that following this or
any other method will simply be unsuccessful.
Will My Child Have Relapses?
Some kids do and some kids don?t. Some kids lose interest in the potty and
some kids don?t. Some kids use the potty as a way to get attention and others
won?t. Some kids will even use it to compete with something like a new baby
or moving to a new house.
Listed below are some possible relapses your child could face and how to deal
with them. Keep in mind that slightly damp underwear are not and should not
be considered a relapse. Damp underwear just show that your child is
controlling the urge to pee. He is showing control which is a good thing.
? After being potty trained for a little while some kids realize that taking
time to go ?pee? or ?potty? is an interruption to their play time or will
procrastinate until it?s too late and will just pee or potty their underwear
instead of taking the time out to go to the potty chair.
This type of relapse can be avoided by occasionally telling the child that you are
proud of them for being a big boy/girl and that you appreciate them not
messing in their underwear. If these accidents continue you will need to look at
these as behavior problems and quickly put a stop to them with disciplinary
action. Use the same type of disciplinary action you would normally use for
bad behavior. Be firm, be consistent. If the bad behavior continues you will
need to increase the punishment until he/she recognizes that it?s not worth it.
Here are some steps that I have offered to parents that have helped cure the
bad behavior or messing their underwear.
At the beginning of the day sit her down and tell your child that if he poops his
pants he will have time out. Don't say anything else but that. When he has an
accident, don't react. Get a clean pair of underwear for him and tell him to
clean himself up. Don't react! Have him clean himself up. When he's done, take
his hand and put him on a chair facing the corner. Put a timer on and make
him sit for 6 minutes. After six minutes, tell him that she MUST keep his
underwear clean. Just keep repeating this. Without you reacting....he will stop.
? Some children are simply looking for attention. They will mess
themselves not because they were playing, not because they were
procrastinating, just outright doing it for attention.
This type of relapse can be easily fixed. Make sure the child knows that you are
displeased with their actions but then afterwards spend some time with your
child. Children need the love and attention from their parents. As parents we
all so often get distracted that we don?t always remember to take the time out
for one on one with our children.
? The sweet joys of a new baby. Everyone is so excited and mommy is
busy with the new baby. People come in and out of the house and all
want to see the baby. What about the ?big boy/girl?? Yup that ?big
boy/girl? could have a little jealousy problem with the new baby and will
have accidents to get some attention.
This type of relapse can be avoided all together. By talking to your child before
the baby comes about the baby and about how the baby will be wearing diapers
because he can?t walk and go to the potty chair will help your child. Talk to
your child about helping you with the new baby. Call them your ?helper?.
Make them know that they will be part of this. If they still have accidents for
attention follow the steps above.
Potty Training an Older Child
Children older then about 2 ? years old are a little harder to potty train. They
are resistant to change and are getting set in their ways. They have a ?habit? of
using a diaper to go pee or poop in. Stopping to go pee or poop in the toilet
hasn?t gotten in the way of playing and they don?t want it to either.
The same method of training a younger child is the same for an older child but
consistency is even more important. When you start this method you must
NOT stop. Be consistent and positive and make sure to ALWAYS catch them
in the middle of their accidents.
Older children can understand reasoning a little better so you can explain more
and expect more from them.
Daycare Providers
If your child is in daycare be sure to discuss with them your plan. Explain to
them that when your child returns to daycare that they?re not to put a pull-up
or diaper on the child.
If your daycare provider is not on board with you then you might have a set
back or two. I?ve never had my kids in daycare but many of the moms that I?ve
helped potty train have kids in daycare. There are many wonderful daycare
providers out there and they are willing to work with the parents but there are
some that want nothing to do with helping the parents out. They want the
child in a pull-up or diaper until they leave for school.
If your daycare provider is one that isn?t willing to support you during this
training you might need to spend an extra day or two at home to make sure
that there are no more accidents and that the child is confident in his new skill.
Here Are a Few Tips
If your spouse wants to help or you want your spouse to help during the three
days of training, please make sure you are both on the same page and both
understand the method. Consistency is important, regardless if it?s with mom
or dad and the child needs to see and understand that.
As noted earlier, if you have tried any other methods or have used pull-ups in
the past, you should take a break from potty training. Give it a couple of weeks
without pressure and then start fresh. You can let the child use the potty only
if they ask while you are waiting to start.
Again it?s so important to stay close to the child through the whole potty
training process. You must catch the child in the act of going every single time.
The more you catch the child the faster the training will go.
Some parents are worried that they aren?t seeing in progress during the first or
second day. That?s ok, but still remembers to stay consistent. It will click by
the end of the third day.
Don?t let your child run around naked during potty training. It doesn?t help
and it?s teaching a bad habit.
We started by buying a little potty for DD around 18 months. We'd encourage her to use it but not force it.
About 3-4 months ago, we started taking underwear and quite a few changes of clothes to daycare. Initially, she'd have at least one accident each day. The teachers there would just take her to the potty every 30 minutes or so. When we picked her up, we'd keep her in underwear and encourgage her to use the potty up until bedtime. Again - quite a few accidents at first.
Over time, it just clicked. She is now in underwear all the time except for naps/bedtime. She likes being rewarded with Hershey Kisses.
We took our time with it. Some days/weeks she was more interested than others. We didn't reall follow a "method", daycare worked with us and we would just attempt to get her on the potty every 30 minutes or so.