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PPD sucks a$$

biochemgirlbiochemgirl
in Postpartum Depression

I feel like a failure as a mother because:

1. I don't know my daugthers feeding cues.  I don't know if it's the PPD that is making me feel this way or what but I wake up feeling like a failture about this everyday.  I try so hard to see if she is doing any of the regular feeding cues but I just don't see them. 

2. DD is not on any sort of schedule at all

3. DD only naps for 40 minutes at a time-once she wakes up from her first sleep cycle during naps she can't get herself back to sleep so I go in and soothe her back to sleep.  At night she can go back to sleep on her own.

4. I find myself looking forward to going back to work so I don't have to feel like a failure all day long but I really do want to be able to stay home with her :(

BFP #1: 3/28/09: DD born 12/11/09
BFP #2: 11/16/11: M/C at 7 weeks
BFP #3: 03/24/12: C/P 03/28/12
BFP #4: 04/26/12: please be our baby
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Re: PPD sucks a$$

  • Smudges*MomSmudges*Mom member

    I am so sorry that you are feeling so terrible.  You are not a failure as a mother.  You love your DD and you are doing your best.  We often expect so much from ourselves and then beat ourselves up when we don't meet those high standards.

    FWIW, I saw it with my son and I have heard others say it that around three months is when LOs tend to start sleeping more and better and give off better cues.  Your DD is just over three months, so my guess is that things will get less hard soon.

    FWIW, my DS didn't start to nap how I thought he should until he was about 4 months old.  Before that, he would either not nap well, or, nap well--on me.  <sigh>  And, at about 5 months, he fell into a preditable pattern/routine/schedule.  Its not always 100% reliable, but he gives cues that help me figure him out.

    Staying at home with an infant can be hard, boring and lonely.  Yes, there are wonderful things about it, but when you are dealing with PPD, the good things are harder to see and feel because the negative feelings are so all-encompassing.

    Are you seeing a therapist or on medications for PPD?  If yes, keep it up.  If you aren't, I would suggest you call your OB.

    Again, I'm sorry that you are feeling like such a failure.  It will get better and you are not a failure!

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