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3rd Trimester
sherina825
member
Your weight loss and DH
sherina825
member
Let me preface this by saying I'm really not sensitive and my DH is a gym rat. I have always worked out and did during this pregnancy until my feet swelled to the point to where I just said F-it to putting on sneakers.
I was naturally really slim (another side effect of my good genes- God bless my parents!!!) prior to getting pregnant and if I don't go back to a size 4 it won't be the end of the world (I hope). I did inform my DH of this and we have had convos about how my body will more than likely be different from before I got pregnant. He has said that he'd get me a trainer, work out with me, ect. But he did say something that stood out. He said, "You'd hate me if you got fat". While I don't think he was saying it to be mean or spiteful (and he does put his foot in his mouth sometimes- his mother doesn't have any social skills and it kinda rubbed off on him) it really made me think. How do men really feel about their wives bodies after they have children?
Have you had this talk with you DH? What has he said about your body after childbirth if you already have a child?
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Re: Your weight loss and DH
I don't think my DH is going to care to much, as long as I am happy. When we first started dating I was very thin and over the last 10 years since then I have put on weight and he has never said anything negative. He doesn't act diffrent. He almost seems more attracted to me. So I don't think that will be any diffrent after LO. I think he will encourage me to loose weight only because I want to.
I agree a lot with the PP. DH really isn't all that concerned about my weight loss after the baby (and he would tell me if he was). It's almost the opposite with us-I can't wait to hit our treadmill as soon as LO comes out, but he's more "just wait until you've healed properly, give it time, etc."
I actually just yelled downstairs and asked DH about this and he said he honestly doesn't care if it takes a week, a year, or never! lol (for the record never will not fly in my book!)
Before I got pregnant my fiance and I worked out together. I would go to the gym 5-6 times a week. Now, I was NEVER a size 2 but I was trim and athletic looking. He's really into fitness and he is very encouraging about me going back to the gym and getting the weight off. He says stuff like, you'll bounce back quick and he keeps saying that I haven't gotten really big anywhere but my belly.
But, I think sometimes men fear that after giving birth we'll just not care about how we look and continue to pile on the pounds. You see it all over TV with overweight women who complain about their weight and blame it on having kids. If we show that we are making an effort, our guys cannot come down on us too hard.
IMO way hotter than being a size 2. I think your second paragraph hit it on the head. He's seen my sisters blow up after having children and he may just think that I will hit the "I don't care" phase too. Just for the record, I will NEVER hit that phase.
I've put on 50 lbs and DH has put on 30 lbs since I got pregnant. A lot of it was because we stopped exercising when I had to stop running and only could walk. He's started training for a 10 miler coming up in a few weeks and I plan to get back to running asap. We are committed to getting those lbs off!
But to answer your question, he smiles when he sees my stretch marks, and cutely pinches my cottage cheese thighs. We laugh at each other being a little over weight right now. But we know it isn't forever. He loves me the way I am and I the same.
He has even been ok with my stretch marks-which are HUGE. When I whine about it he just says "well thats what happens when you get pregnant babe." I think the only thing that will bother him is that I dont have cute little pink nips anymore
LOL, this! I took my bra off the other night and DH's eyes just bugged out of his head. Then he started laughing and told me my nipples are getting HUUUUGE! Oh well, he knows they're that way so I can feed our baby, so he'll get over it.
I have expressed my concerns to DH about him not finding me attractive after LO arrives and I have told him that even if I do loosed the weight my body may not look the same but he doesn't really seem to care if I loose the weight. I know that DH wouldn't be bothered if I never lost the weight but I also think it is a natural concern for men that their wives will use the excuse of having had children to no longer work out and to gain even more weight.
My husband married me when I was obese, he doesn't care if I lose the weight. In fact, he prefers it when I'm a bit more round than I like to be (even though he brags to our family/friends about how much weight I lost post baby the first time). After I had our son he would always tell me how beautiful I was and how much motherhood looked good on me, even though I knew full well I was a fat cow. He appreciates me and my body for what we do and who we are, not what we look like. I could never see him making such an insensitve comment to me.