XP: LIVID RIGHT NOW!!! Long... — The Bump
Toddlers: 24 Months+

XP: LIVID RIGHT NOW!!! Long...

So my licensed DCP is in FL for like 2 weeks, having some dental procedures done by a relative on the cheap (versus what she would have paid here for a nonrelative to do the work).

DD is currently being watched by her 18 year old daughter (who I've had watch Natalie after hours before) and her regular assistant.

DH flew out of town on Wednesday, which I informed them of, as I would be bringing Natalie to daycare as early as I can, which is when they open at 7. However with my commute to DC, I would be getting to work extremely late (I usually try to leave my house by 5:30am) & leave as late as possible (trying to get my 8-9 hour workday in) to pick her up by 6.

I was 30 minutes late picking her up yesterday, because my roommate ended up driving to work, when I thought she was taking the commuter bus in, and riding home with me so we could take the HOV lanes/roads together. So I didn't find this out until I'm sitting outside of her office, which means I couldn't take HOV, which means I was running VERY LATE. I was very apologetic & explained what happened. I felt bad because when I picked up DD, I found out the assistant had a class that evening that she missed.

Well today I dropped DD off right at 7am. She was barely awake, so I took her in her pjs with socks & shoes & packed an outfit in her diaper bag so they could change her later. OR SO I THOUGHT...

I was running 15 min late picking her up, even after riding in HOV with my roommate due to traffic. I see Natalie run to the glass door STILL IN HER PAJAMAS FROM THIS MORNING!!! I was pissed! The daughter and the assistant barely said 2 words to me. I asked the assistant why DD wasn't in her clothes that I packed & she claims she didn't see them in the diaper bag. I CALL BULLSHIT!!! I also noticed her brand new shoes were somewhat dirty, which means she was outside, playing in her PJs... WTF. It makes me wonder what else they slacked on.Angry

I try to get there on time, but unfortunately I have a hell of a commute. DCP knows that I drive to DC everyday, and when I am late I always pay her 1/2 day extra ($20), even if I'm only 15 min late one day. She has never asked for a late fee, but I do it to show that I am sorry & I appreciate her time.

#1- DCP is supposed to be back on Tuesday (I'm off tomorrow & DH is off Mondays). If she is not back Tuesday, I am not taking Natalie back there for her daughter to babysit. I pay her, NOT her daughter. I will take unpaid leave if I have to... and DH is in total agreement with me.

#2- DCP will be hearing about this. I am also going to have a very frank discussion about my commute and I'm going to tell her if my occasional tardiness is too much, even after my compensation, I will find another place to take DD. My commute is not giong to change anytime soon, even after I start working in Crystal City (which is literally across the river from DC). I love DCP, but I am quickly growing to dislike her daughter. I'm sorry, but not all of us have the option of showing up to work or for job interviews whenever we feel like it (that's another story).

So am I overreacting or what???? I am just so incredibly mad right now. And thanks for reading this far!

Re: XP: LIVID RIGHT NOW!!! Long...

  • To me the most important thing is to have a DCP/Nanny/Sitter/WHATEVER who cares about what they are doing.  I remember Harm's DCP when I was in the hospital cared (she embraced him every morning and called me if there were any problems at all).  My nanny cares (heck she loves the kids).  I couldn't leave my kids w/people who don't care.  This girl obviously doesn't care.  I don't think you are over-reacting.  I would be PISSED!  I wouldn't go back.

    With said I would calmly talk to your DCP why you were disappointed and let her know you don't want her daughter watching her again.  I also would tell her to maybe have a talk w/that assistant.  The daughter was not the normal caretaker but that assistant has no excuse, she should have known better. 

    Mom to Harmon 1/17/08 and twins Rachel & Callum 8/28/09 Photobucket 29o0v13.jpg
  • I would be mad, too!  Sorry I don't have any advice... and sorry you had to deal with that!
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  • Honestly?  I think you are overreacting a bit.  How can you say for sure that they didn't see the clothes?  Is she well cared for while she's there?  If so, the fact that she stayed in her pajamas one day doesn't seem like such a big deal in the grand scheme of things.  And it certainly doesn't seem worth yanking her out of your DCP's (who you say you love) care.  I would calmly discuss your concerns with the DCP and see what she has to say before you make any rash decisions.  GL!
  • I agree with Seans_girl.

    While I would maybe be a little annoyed that they didn't change her into clothes and out of her pj's I wouldn't pull her from it bc of that.

    I would just talk to the her mom and let her know it bothered you and you hope it won't happen again. GL!

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  • MrsHKMrsHK member

    imageseans_grl:
    Honestly?  I think you are overreacting a bit.  How can you say for sure that they didn't see the clothes?  Is she well cared for while she's there?  If so, the fact that she stayed in her pajamas one day doesn't seem like such a big deal in the grand scheme of things.  And it certainly doesn't seem worth yanking her out of your DCP's (who you say you love) care.  I would calmly discuss your concerns with the DCP and see what she has to say before you make any rash decisions.  GL!

    I agree. It probably would depend on a lot more than what's posted here. If there's history of some other issue. Basically it seems to boil down to the fact that your DD stayed in her PJs all day. I don't really see the big deal there at all. Especially dependent on what kind of PJs, some can be two pieces or a romper that really doesn't look much different than a regular outfit. 

    What was the big deal about your commute? You were really late but did they say anything to you about it? Do you call on your way to give updates when you are running so late? Maybe I missed it but other then the daughter missing class I didn't see you say anything about them making a big deal out of it.

    Proverbs 12:10 "A righteous man cares for the needs of his animals ChipMonkey 3/19/08 *** Turtle 1/26/10 *** CarBear 10/06/11
  • to be honest with you, i would not be upset if my child was still in PJs.  some days are just like that. I have taken DS to play outside in his PJs.  some days he really likes to just leave his PJs on, No big deal!!! 

     To me it actually sounds like your DC is pretty easy on you on your tardiness.  MOST places will charge you 5 per MINUTE if you are late.  

    I have not read any other responses, but i think you are over reacting.

  • PeskyPesky member

    Yes, I think you are over-reacting to the PJ thing.  Would I be annoyed?  yes.  Livid?  No. 

    But with that said, there are other things that would bother me, possibly to the point of telling DCP that I was no longer comfortable with her DD watching my child.  First, you told her where the clothes were and at best, she never listened or looked, at worst willfully ignored you.  What if you had medicine in the bag for her?  What then?  Also, a lot has to do with gut instinct -- if you think the DD doesn't really care about your DD and is just phoning it in, I wouldn't use her again.  Sure, now it's something minor like not changing clothes but what next?  Truthfully, I don't think I would trust an unsupervised 18YO for full-time care anyway but I'm innately paranoid.


    image
    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

  • I guess I should mention there have been a couple other things the daughter has done that bothered me. I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. This was the icing on the cake.

    I still love the DCP and I still have confidence in her assistant, I just don't care to leave DD with her daughter anymore.

  • I, personally, would not care if she were in her pjs. 
  • akayfakayf member
    imagefemmeftle9:

    I guess I should mention there have been a couple other things the daughter has done that bothered me. I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. This was the icing on the cake.

    I still love the DCP and I still have confidence in her assistant, I just don't care to leave DD with her daughter anymore.

    what were these things?   

    Did you call the DC both days and tell them that you were stuck in traffic and running late?   That is common courtesy.    And maybe they didn't want to talk to you because they were PO'd that you were late 2 days in a row?

    I think you're overreacting a bit.   Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm getting the impression that you think leaving her in her jammies was their "revenge" for you being so late the day before.      What did her jammies look like?   DS has some jammies that look just like pants and t-shirt outfit.   Did you tell/ask them to change her into clothes?   Takes only 10 seconds to say "We were running late and I didn't have a chance to dress her.   Her clothes are in the bag."   I'm guessing they saw the clothes in there but thought they just were an extra set.


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