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Working moms (or formerly working moms): How do you do it?

JEOZJEOZ
in Parenting after a Loss

It's my first week back to work and this is just so hard.  I miss Nico so much and feel like my time would be better spent with him.  I spend much more than half my take home pay keeping him in daycare and commuting my new longer commute from the day care center.  I am torn between quitting and living much more frugally on DH's salary or working and being able to save a little bit of money. 

I could attempt working freelance since I am a graphic designer, but I don't have any clients right now.

I am curious to know how other people do it!

 

Mia Elizabeth 8/19-8/20/08 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
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Re: Working moms (or formerly working moms): How do you do it?

  • MelissaAB5579MelissaAB5579 member
    It's not easy, but I manage. I hate leaving him every morning. I just keep telling myself " I do it for Zachary" Good luck in your decision sweetie :)
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  • cmbrowncmbrown member
    Honestly... you do it for his future.  I hate my job SO BAD.  But we would never be able to afford vacations, a car for DD, etc if we both don't work.  (Right now DH is laid off, but not sure what we will do when unemployment runs out).  It is so hard, still... 1 year later.  But we will be able to provide so much more for her.
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  • MrsB0701MrsB0701
    The ONLY way I can do it is to know that by me working (DH works too obviously) I can provide money for our non-essentials and we can live in a better house, eat out more often, shop more, etc. and I can buy DD anything I want!
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  • pollykinzpollykinz
    It sucks. I was lucky enough to be able to give my notice and will be done working March 31st thanks to having a very large amount in savings to be able to supplement DH's income. I was torn between keeping my income to be able to give him more material things, but in the end I decided that time with him was more important than those things at this stage of his life. I will have to go back to work at some point, but these first years are too important for me to miss and since we can arrange it financially that's what I've chosen to do. I too hate being away from him all day and find that the evenings go way too quickly and I feel like he doesn't remember me, which I know is stupid and he does - but that's how it makes me feel being away from him all day. If you have to do it, you make it work, but I totally understand your not wanting to keep working! Hang in there.
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  • Mrs. DissMrs. Diss
    I had a really hard time, so my H and I talked and decided I would stay home. Things are tight and we have to make some changes, but we decided it  was more important to us that I be home with her for now. I am working part time from home, and will also look for some freelance work. It won't be forever, but I don't want to miss this time with her.
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  • lovesinthehouselovesinthehouse

    I'm not a working mom yet, but I AM a graphic designer. I'm choosing to continue working because I don't want to leave the field for an extended period of time. I want to continue working creatively. That's my main reason, aside from financial, for continuing to work.

    As for freelance, you know yourself better than anyone. Would you really be focused and driven enough to go out and get clients? It sounds nice, but it is going to be really difficult to do in these economic times. I just want to be real with you about the freelance aspect. It's probably going to take a LONG time to build up.

    missed miscarriage began 04/08, ended 07/08 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
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  • BensBride2007BensBride2007

    It's my first week back at work, and it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. I was a mess Monday morning and cried for hours! 

    What's made it tolerable for me has been the care and attention he's getting at the daycare we've chosen. The two women who are in the infants room are just wonderful and truly love the little ones they are watching. My LO  starts giggling when he hears them start talking to him. And, he really likes the interaction with others his size. The one teacher even commented on it today. Because he's happy, then I'm happy. If I didn't feel like he was being taken care of the way he is, I'd put up a fight with my DH to stay home.

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  • nancyandnatenancyandnate
    It was tough at first, especially the coordination of everything that needed to get back and forth to daycare and the constant feeling that I was missing something.  But things are so much better now that we have a routine down.  I'd maybe give it a couple of months and see how you feel.  You could try just living off of DH's salary and using yours for daycare to see what sacrifices you would have to make.  
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