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A hodgepodge; Returning PPD, Meds, etc.

AugustAnnAugustAnn
in Postpartum Depression

Hey all,

It has been a while since I've posted here. Fable is 5 months old today!

I was diagnosed with PPD right after she was born because I didn't sleep for a grand total of 5 days, and I couldn't eat anything. I had anxiety attacks all the time. It felt like torture.

Anyway, a psychiatrist put me on Klonopin (spelling?), Zoloft, and Ambien. The Klonopin was just for every once in a while when the anxiety got to be too much. The Zoloft was daily, as was the Ambien. I saw her again recently and she put me on Lamactil, too.  

I thought everything was on the upswing. I felt REALLY good about parenting, about Fable, about life, etc.

But over the last couple weeks or so, I find myself just getting really aggravated with Fable. Thoughts, worries, and feelings I had stopped experiencing are starting to resurface. I get upset when she needs something from me because I don't want to do it. It breaks my heart because she is so smiley and definitely has a preference for being around me opposed to other people. I just want to sleep most of the time. It's so disheartening. :/

I thought I had gotten over the hump, but maybe not? I'm upset because I'm on all these medications now and I'm still struggling a little. It's nowhere near what it was, but it's there. The psychiatrist said she thinks I might have Bipolar II, which just makes me want to cry. Will I ever be a normal parent? And if all of those meds don't make it easier, then what will?

Can anyone else relate to this? Have anyone else been put on these meds and still feel this way? Did you think you were getting past it, only to feel it returning again?

TIA... 

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Re: A hodgepodge; Returning PPD, Meds, etc.

  • Gina418Gina418 member

    I'm sorry - I have no advice/experience with those drugs, but I wanted to wish you luck. PPD can be a long rough road - hold on to hope that things will get better! 

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  • *speedracer**speedracer* member

    it can take a while to get things tweaked just right.  it sounds like your psychiatrist is listening to you and being proactive about considering alternative diagnoses (even though they may be hard hear) so that you can get the best treatment.

    just remember that none of it is your fault and it does not make you an abnormal or sub-par parent.  ((hugs))

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  • lovely40lovely40 member

    I think it's normal to have setbacks. I know I had setbacks when I started losing sleep for whatever reason and then again when I weaned. Is there something else going on in your life that may have triggered you? It may not be something obvious... It sounds like you have all the right support systems in place. Maybe make another apt. with your psychiatrist if it doesn't get better or it gets worse.

    And yes you will be a normal parent! my guess is you already are a lot more normal than you think. :o)

     

    DD 4yo DS 1yo
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