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Does anyone else have....

Tiffandmart09Tiffandmart09
in Austin Babies

an extremely huge age gap between their first and second child? My boys will have a 7 year age gap between the two. How did you incorporate the older one into things you did for the baby? What did you do? Did you let them in the room with you when you had the baby or have them wait until after the baby was born? Did they feel left out at all?

 My first sons dad neglected him when his wife had her first child and now they are having one together. I just wanna make sure that he doesnt feel left out. 

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Re: Does anyone else have....

  • PMBridetobePMBridetobe member

    Does 16 years and 11 years count for gaps?Surprise  Both children have been included on verbal updates about appts, seeing sonogram pictures and attending our 3D/4D.  SS (17) will get to see the babies as soon as possible right with Dad.  SD (12) might not depending on if she is here. If she is not here, DH will call to let her know that they arrived.  If they are NICU babies, SS gets to go on his own and they said they would let him do kangaroo care if he wanted but he is allowed to be up there as much as he would like.

    All in all, we plan to keep our normal summer routine up as much as possible and make sure they do not feel slighted by the arrival of the babies.

    ETA: Both were involved in the baby showers and in shopping for baby items.  They had input on the names but not final decision power and they both liked to pick out things for the babies.

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  • libbyannlibbyann member
    I only have one child, but this is my two cents...I absolutely would not let a 7 year old boy in the room with me while I had my baby. I can only imagine it would be traumatic for him - seeing his mom in pain, seeing the blood and everything that goes along with having a baby. I'd let him in the room as soon as I was cleaned up and decent, though.
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  • jessicaskyyjessicaskyy
    My boys will be 9 years apart.  DS has been included in conversations about the baby, attended 3D sonograms, and understands the importance of being a big brother.  He will be going to a big brother class in April to gain some more information on what it really means to be a big bro, and how to handle a baby. 
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  • ali-1411ali-1411 member

    There's nearly 7 years between my kids.  We tried to involve Jakob with the pregnancy and the baby, but honestly he just wasn't that interested.  He kinda glanced at the ultrasound picture before turning back to his video game.  He came up to the hospital to visit but was more interested in dinner than looking at his baby sister.  He was pretty good about popping the pacifier in her mouth when they were riding in the backseat together, but until she got older and started interacting with us, he didn't bother with her much at all.

    Jakob isn't really the type to allow himself to be pushed aside, so ignoring him over the baby was never much of an issue  :)

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  • Tiffandmart09Tiffandmart09
    imageMrsRosie:
    imageTiffandmart09:
     

     My first sons dad neglected him when his wife had her first child and now they are having one together.

    First, I'm trying to figure out this sentence.  Your son's father's wife had a child that wasn't his?  Now she's having his?

    Second, I don't have a second child, but there are 10 years between me and my (half) sister.  She was very involved with me as a child as far as babysitting, playing with me in her room when I was a toddler, etc.  It was a big deal to get to play in my sister's room.

     

    Yes. So my sons father got married and she has a baby by another guy. Now my sons father and her and having a baby together. I know so confusing. 

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