Am I being too sensitive?

Lynn32 · March 2010

I was invited to a baby shower for a friend of mine from work. She's due at the same time as I was due for my first m/c. Since my second m/c, I've had a much harder time talking with her (or anyone who's pregnant or hasn't been through a m/c). I'm happy for her, but I just can't imagine going to her shower and remembering that I was supposed to be having a baby at the same time. My last m/c was in Feb and the shower isn't until mid-April. What do you think?

Cristine · March 2010

Honestly if I were you I would wait to see how I feel closer to the shower. But if you don't feel you can handle it emotionally, then don't go. Buy a nice gift or a gift card and give yourself a pass. Good Luck. I hope you feel better soon.

owenst · March 2010

I don't think you are being too sensitive at all. Do you have to RSVP soon? If not, I would wait and see how you feel about it, but I don't think you should feel badly if you don't think you can do the shower. I would try to go at another time close to the shower and drop off a gift to her and explain that you just can't be there. I'm sure that she may not understand, but that gesture will at least let her know that you are happy for her and just can't be there at that time. Only you can decide what is best for you. GL!

magdalina.h · March 2010

You need to do what's best for you in this circumstance. Does she know about your losses? I would see how your feeling as it gets closer.

I didn't go to a friends baby shower 2 weeks ago because I knew I would cry while I was there. I didn't want to ruin anything for her or take any attention away from her.

Cristine · March 2010

Oh and BTW I don't think you're being too sensitive. I can't imagine how hard it would be to go to a shower of someone who was due around the same time I was.

IamMrs.C · March 2010

I don't blame you one bit. But you might feel better by April. Maybe wait to RSVP until the deadline (if you still have time).

I would decide for sure what I want to do just in time to RSVP on time, but if I felt then that I still did not want to go, I would not go. I would send a gift with a nice card.

babysantel · March 2010

I don't think you are being too senstive at all. Your heart is broken and you miss your baby. It really is hard dealing with people that have not experienced a m/c. They really have no clue. I try and tell myself that to make things better. It still sucks anyway you look at it. I am so sorry for your loss.

jcath · March 2010

I think your feelings are totally normal and if you don't want to go you shouldn't. I know I'm the minority on this board but I absolutely hate baby showers and I always decline unless they are immediately family. I've never been to a baby shower that wasn't bringing up emotional issues for about half the attendees.

marisslyn · March 2010

I do not think you are being too sensitive. I am not going to my sister in law's shower or one of my good friend's shower this weekend. I feel bad about it, but I just can not emotionally do it yet. Your feelings may change, but do what is best for you.

BlakeG · March 2010

I don't think you're being too sensitive. I'm not going to my cousin's baby shower this weekend. Being that I'm still in the process of my natural m/c it would just be way too hard. I think you should see how you feel when it gets closer but if you have to make a decision in the near future and you don't feel up to it then you should just decline. One thing I've learned the past few days is that I need to put myself first right now until I'm on solid ground emotionally. Take care of you!

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