Woud you let your child/ren be present during the birth of their sibling(s)?

s-a-r-a-h · March 2010

I'm watching A Baby Story and the mom and dad let their four children be in the room with them during the birth of their fifth child. The youngest was 17 months. I'm not sure I'd want DD to be in the room during the birth of our next child/ren. I understand it's a natural thing and they should know "where babies come from," but I just don't think I'd want her to see me in pain and all the blood, etc. that comes with childbirth (though maybe the younger they are the less it affects them since they probably won't remember or really understand what's going on). So, what do y'all think? [Poll]

Taytee · March 2010

I shower with Abby so I won't say that I just wouldn't want her to see my private parts but I definitely don't think she needed to see Emily be born OUT of them.

It can be terrifying to small children to see their mother in pain too.

michelleaxo · March 2010

No. Although it is unlikely, I would not want my child present if there was a complication. Also, I would worry that seeing me in pain would be traumatic.

rssnlvr · March 2010

There should be a hellll no option. If they're old enough to create and store memories, why would you want to give them a memory of their mom in pain, or all that blood? If they're not old enough, why have them in there anyway?

But then again, I didn't want ANYBODY in the room except DH, so maybe I'm just a prude.

Duckie07 · March 2010

It would depend on the age of the child. I don't think I would allow a very young child in while I was delivering. Laboring, perhaps, but not delivery. But an older child, why not? Especially if they wanted to be there, I would have no problem with it. I was present, along with my other siblings, when my parents had my youngest brother. We all wanted to be there and my parents were cool with it. It was an amazing experience and we're so happy we got to be a part of it. As a matter of fact, we were the first to hold the baby! It definitely helped bring us all closer as a family and contributed to our very strong bonds with the baby of the family.

ETA: We were all teenagers (well, the youngest was a couple of months away from being a teen) when my baby brother was born. Surprise

ebat · March 2010

MrsRosie:
Nope. That is between me and my DH as husband and wife. Maybe if I had a teenage daughter and she was holding my hand or coaching, then maybe. But then again, at that point I would be freaking out that I had a teenage daughter and a newborn.

this...but the odds of me having a newborn when DD is a teenager( and an older teen at that) are slim...

Nessia · March 2010

Um, No. I think DD would have been freaked out seeing me in pain and I don't want to answer all the question related to what she saw and who knows what stories she would be telling at daycare.

ali-1411 · March 2010

No, no, a thousand times No.

I don't even change my clothes in front of Jakob. Why would it be acceptable to be spread eagle, bleeding and screaming in front of him?

shanwalk2 · March 2010

Nessia:
Um, No. I think DD would have been freaked out seeing me in pain and I don't want to answer all the question related to what she saw and who knows what stories she would be telling at daycare.

...or dance class. You wouldn't BELIEVE some of the stuff I've been told by little ones over the years. Only once has a child decribed her mother giving birth... and the story was a doozy. I think she was just really confused and wanted to talk to me about it... Indifferent

AustinMimi · March 2010

I voted no because A) I witnessed a birth as an adult and almost fainted from the blood and seeing my sister in pain; and

you can't "unsee" things once you see them.

brideonjuly8 · March 2010

I voted no for all the reasons listed above, but mostly if something went terribly wrong, with me or the baby, no child should have to witness that.

CollieJade · March 2010

I voted "undecided." I'm not totally against the idea, but I'd have to approach it if and when the time came. I guess my labor was just not really all that dramatic/traumatic (well, up until the very end anyway), so I don't think a small child would have been traumatized by it. I wasn't loud or screaming or anything, just a lot of moaning.

Kristen&Doyle · March 2010

I would never make my child watch me give birth or anyone else for that reason. Once they are an adult, they can make their own decisions and if they want to see such a thing, then I wouldn't stop them, but I highly doubt it would be me they would see giving birth! I just happened to see a different baby story the other day, mom went all natural and her 6-8 year old son was in the room, the whole time, walking around, totally did not like the screaming and at one point the boy was being held by another person in the room because to me, it seemed traumatic to him. The father after the birth was "interviewed" and asked why they would let him see that, they didn't believe it was at all wrong for him to see that. Honestly, the only sane reason I could see someone doing that to their child is because they don't want them knocking up some girl at a young age, because after all, they would probably see that image (of a bloody mess with a baby coming out of there!) any time they came close to a v-jay anyway!

mcgee · March 2010

We were debating having Meredith present for Alex's homebirth. We'd already talked with her about how babies are born, so she wasn't totally clueless. In the end, my water broke at 2 am, and we had no desire to wake her up.

If we have a third, I'd be open to having both kids there if 1) it's during the day, 2) there's an adult other than DH and me to watch the kids, 3) that adult is comfortable removing the children from the room if they are upset, unruly, or there's a problem with the birth.

Meredith was VERY upset that she missed Alex's birth, and she's asked if she can be there if we have another baby. Smile

rssnlvr · March 2010

Kristen&Doyle:
Honestly, the only sane reason I could see someone doing that to their child is because they don't want them knocking up some girl at a young age, because after all, they would probably see that image (of a bloody mess with a baby coming out of there!) any time they came close to a v-jay anyway!

LMAO.

MrsHoyt · March 2010

Of course!

And, I'd also want them present while we were conceiving the baby. It would give'em the full experience, and they have to learn sometime.

ali-1411 · March 2010

MrsHoyt:

Of course!

And, I'd also want them present while we were conceiving the baby. It would give'em the full experience, and they have to learn sometime.

LOL

After all, sex is natural!

mlf625 · March 2010

Not a child that young. But when my mom had my brother I was 9, and she told me I could be in the room if I wanted to be. In the end I was too nervous and declined, but I don't think there would have been anything wrong with that. And looking back it would have been SO neat to see my baby brother come into the world!

carlinlp · March 2010

I have a lot of opinions about this because I have been present during a lot of births with my job. I will say that when children are present, it is usually a peaceful, quiet birth, and they certainly don't have the attention span to sit there the entire time. Many times they are just in the house or outside the room until the time comes for the actual birth moment. For many families it is NOT about their children viewing the new baby coming out of them, but about the moments immediately after, the bonding, family moments. I have never seen a child traumatized by birth, never, not once.

Ty was present for my entire labor with Taryn but left the room for the actual birth moment. He was with me for part of my labor with Teagan, but not as much as Taryn was pretty upset and wanted to be with her too. It was VERY hard for him to leave me at the hospital....but he's very nurturing and caring by nature.

It's a personal choice. One that I feel largely depends on the personality and temperment of the parents and especially the child/ren.

I absolutely love the process of birth, and experiencing it. It bothers me when birth choices are judged. There is no right or wrong way to give birth, we all make choices we feel are best for our family.

MrsBeckO · March 2010

carlinlp:
It's a personal choice. One that I feel largely depends on the personality and temperment of the parents and especially the child/ren.
I absolutely love the process of birth, and experiencing it. It bothers me when birth choices are judged. There is no right or wrong way to give birth, we all make choices we feel are best for our family.

I agree.

I am not against the idea, but we would definitely decide whether or not its the right choice for our family based on a number of circumstances.

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