i just cant admit it.

mefsta777 · March 2010

prepregnancy, i suffered from severe depression and anxiety. i was hospitalized multiple times, suicide attempts, the works. since becoming pregnant, i have called it my healing drug. it "cured" me from my depression. i had no urges to harm myself, no real sad times. it was great. i had a really hard pregnancy too, so i thought "hey, if i can be happy during this, i can be happy forever!" but....im not. i am so unhappy now, and i feel terrible. i have a great baby---a few bad days here and there, but no real issues. but sometimes i just dont want to be around her. i dont want to hold her, hear her, feed her. sometimes i just want her to go away. i love her beyond belief, would die for her, but sometimes...i just cant handle it. motherhood. having a baby for the rest of my life. and of course, i cant SAY i am unhappy, because everyone makes me feel like sh!t with the "oh, you are so blessed!" comments, and the "you must be overjoyed! she is so wonderful!" crap. yes, she is wonderful. yes i am blessed. but there are days when i want to never wake up.?

jaime5121 · March 2010

I'm sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. I too had such a difficult time admitting it. I think we all have times when we are so overwhelmed that we just can't "deal" anymore. I hope you seek help soon so that you can feel better. I know once I finally admitted it to myself, and talked to my OB (my son was almost 8 months old) I finally felt like I had this huge weight lifted off my chest. I still have my bad days, but I feel like I can manage them now. I really hope you fell better soon!!!!

BlairWaldorf · March 2010

sweet pea, my best advice is to call your OB. He/she can walk you through what is normal, what you may need help with, etc.

& let's definitely plan that walk or coffee for this weekend. Email me, mmkay?

Aerochyck · March 2010

Please talk to your OB, because unfortunately your blessing may have caused a hormonal imbalance that you can't control.

My DD is the best baby, she eats well, sleeps well, there is no reason for me to be depressed with her. No colic, no reflux, nothing and I still had these horrible feelings. With DS I felt there was a reason for my PPD but DD is an angel and I get a full year off with her so it couldn't be work .

Now finally with medication and speaking to a PPD expert life is getting better. It is not something you can control but you can take action to get help and you need to understand that it's not anything that you did or didn't do.

TommysGirl56 · March 2010

As PPs said, you should talk to your doctor about these feelings. You should not have to feel the way you do, but please understand that it is normal and that you are not alone! Try not to let those comments about how you "should" feel bother you. Pregnancy really can give you an emotional high, but everyone adapts differently to becoming a parent. It certainly can be a crazy and overwhelming process. I too felt very guilty for a long time about not feeling how I was "supposed" to feel. Now that I am getting treatment, I am adjusting much better. Anytime you need to vent, the ladies on this board will be here to listen, sympathize and understand! Best of luck to you!

Want a personalized experience?

i just cant admit it.

Re: i just cant admit it.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards