I'm throwing in the towel!!!

Jmendez83 · March 2010

I know that I'm new to all this and have only gone through one m/c but DH and I are going to give it a rest. We've been married since April 2009 not knowing that we were going to get pregnant right away. Then the unfortunate m/c happened in July. Since then, I personally think it has become an obsession to make our love/sex life about having a baby again. I'm 27 years old and he's 31. My obgyn had me on provera to induce AF in October and she showed up. Then again in December (on her own) and last time in January (on her own). So now I went back on Provera for the second time and its my 7th of 10 days taking it. He told me this time as soon as I get AF, I have to call him so he can prescribe Clomid to help me ovulate. Should I trust it? Will I conceive on the first round? I've read the successes of clomid and also read the failures of it as well. So with that being said, I don't think I'll be able to handle this if its unsuccessful. I keep getting these gut feelings of Clomid not working for me. Maybe I'm just to negative on myself. I'm not even taking it yet and I'm so freaking nervous....i just dont know what to do anymore....am I doing the right thing in giving up? Should I just wait to get AF and go on Clomid? Please help me...need some moral support from you...

SASSI712 · March 2010

for what its worth...you are young, so don't stress tooo much...you have to decide what is going to make you happy, IF is so frustrating and consuming...I did clomid, it didn't work for me, but I have seen lots of ppl take it and it work, it may not work on the first try or even the 4th, but it does work...The only advice I can give is try to stay positive and everything will work itself out....GL

jkmcnamara · March 2010

I know it sucks, but you can't throw in the towel after ONE m/c. It's awful that it happened, but IF is a struggle. Many of these ladies have done more cycles and had more m/c than you can count. But just because something doesn't work the first time is NO reason to quit!!

You CAN do this. We are all here for you. Do the Clomid...but if you don't get pregnant on the first round, don't give up.

We are here for you. (((hugs))). Sadly, IF is a struggle the entire time. Even when you get pregnant, you have 9 months of fear for a m/c or still birth or ANYTHING. But you can do this.

2006july15bride · March 2010

Ummm you are complaining to us and you haven't even been married or trying a full year yet? Yeah, I would give up if I were you. Most of us have been married for years and trying for years. If you can't take the pressure now then you will never handle what is to come once you start treatment. Confused

J-Pancakes · March 2010

I'm in a similar situation. DH and I got married in April of 09, we were naive and thought getting pg would be easy. I haven't had a period on my own since May. I did 3 rounds of clomid and didn't ovulate at all. My OB sent me to an RE and we tried femara with TI. I ovulated, but BFN. You can't give up hope yet! There are so many more options than clomid. I know it's emotionally draining and frustrating, but it's too early to give up!

jkmcnamara · March 2010

2006july15bride:
Ummm you are complaining to us and you haven't even been married or trying a full year yet? Yeah, I would give up if I were you. Most of us have been married for years and trying for years. If you can't take the pressure now then you will never handle what is to come once you start treatment.

Ugh...july15, I hadn't even noticed that part!

OP, you really need to be patient. It hasn't been a full year? It's gonna take time....

Jmendez83 · March 2010

2006july15bride:
Ummm you are complaining to us and you haven't even been married or trying a full year yet? Yeah, I would give up if I were you. Most of us have been married for years and trying for years. If you can't take the pressure now then you will never handle what is to come once you start treatment.

Ummm, no need for the hostility! I was just venting...i understand and realize that most of you here have been trying for years and didnt mean to come off as a complainer....I was just seeking some support since we're suppose to be here for eachother. I apologize if I've offended anyone with my post.

I needed a place to seek comfort and advice and figured this would be it. I'm hurting inside so bad because i have friends who aren't even married and are having a baby (due any day). It hurts seeing that. Why couldn't that be me?

2006july15bride · March 2010

Jmendez83:

2006july15bride:
Ummm you are complaining to us and you haven't even been married or trying a full year yet? Yeah, I would give up if I were you. Most of us have been married for years and trying for years. If you can't take the pressure now then you will never handle what is to come once you start treatment.

Ummm, no need for the hostility! I was just venting...i understand and realize that most of you here have been trying for years and didnt mean to come off as a complainer....I was just seeking some support since we're suppose to be here for eachother. I apologize if I've offended anyone with my post.

I needed a place to seek comfort and advice and figured this would be it. I'm hurting inside so bad because i have friends who aren't even married and are having a baby (due any day). It hurts seeing that. Why couldn't that be me?

If I had a nickel for everytime I said this my IVF would be paid for!

jkmcnamara · March 2010

Jmendez83:
2006july15bride:
Ummm you are complaining to us and you haven't even been married or trying a full year yet? Yeah, I would give up if I were you. Most of us have been married for years and trying for years. If you can't take the pressure now then you will never handle what is to come once you start treatment.

Ummm, no need for the hostility! I was just venting...i understand and realize that most of you here have been trying for years and didnt mean to come off as a complainer....I was just seeking some support since we're suppose to be here for eachother. I apologize if I've offended anyone with my post.

I needed a place to seek comfort and advice and figured this would be it. I'm hurting inside so bad because i have friends who aren't even married and are having a baby (due any day). It hurts seeing that. Why couldn't that be me?

And you found support, but I can see where your post is almost a slap in the face to those who have been trying for YEARS to get pregnant. You want to give up before a full year? Honey, IF sucks! It's rough! That's why you have to be stronger than that. I hope like crazy you get pregnant on Clomid on the first cycle, but chances are you won't. It's gonna take a while.

It'll be ok...you do have support here, but I wonder if you realize that IF is a going to be a struggle and it doesn't always have a happy ending right away just because you change your treatment.

2006july15bride · March 2010

jkmcnamara:
Jmendez83:

2006july15bride:
Ummm you are complaining to us and you haven't even been married or trying a full year yet? Yeah, I would give up if I were you. Most of us have been married for years and trying for years. If you can't take the pressure now then you will never handle what is to come once you start treatment.

Ummm, no need for the hostility! I was just venting...i understand and realize that most of you here have been trying for years and didnt mean to come off as a complainer....I was just seeking some support since we're suppose to be here for eachother. I apologize if I've offended anyone with my post.

I needed a place to seek comfort and advice and figured this would be it. I'm hurting inside so bad because i have friends who aren't even married and are having a baby (due any day). It hurts seeing that. Why couldn't that be me?

And you found support, but I can see where your post is almost a slap in the face to those who have been trying for YEARS to get pregnant. You want to give up before a full year? Honey, IF sucks! It's rough! That's why you have to be stronger than that. I hope like crazy you get pregnant on Clomid on the first cycle, but chances are you won't. It's gonna take a while.

It'll be ok...you do have support here, but I wonder if you realize that IF is a going to be a struggle and it doesn't always have a happy ending right away just because you change your treatment.

I couldn't have said it better JK! Nice work!

jkmcnamara · March 2010

2006july15bride:
jkmcnamara:
Jmendez83:

2006july15bride:
Ummm you are complaining to us and you haven't even been married or trying a full year yet? Yeah, I would give up if I were you. Most of us have been married for years and trying for years. If you can't take the pressure now then you will never handle what is to come once you start treatment.

Ummm, no need for the hostility! I was just venting...i understand and realize that most of you here have been trying for years and didnt mean to come off as a complainer....I was just seeking some support since we're suppose to be here for eachother. I apologize if I've offended anyone with my post.

I needed a place to seek comfort and advice and figured this would be it. I'm hurting inside so bad because i have friends who aren't even married and are having a baby (due any day). It hurts seeing that. Why couldn't that be me?

And you found support, but I can see where your post is almost a slap in the face to those who have been trying for YEARS to get pregnant. You want to give up before a full year? Honey, IF sucks! It's rough! That's why you have to be stronger than that. I hope like crazy you get pregnant on Clomid on the first cycle, but chances are you won't. It's gonna take a while.

It'll be ok...you do have support here, but I wonder if you realize that IF is a going to be a struggle and it doesn't always have a happy ending right away just because you change your treatment.

I couldn't have said it better JK! Nice work!

Thank you I really do want the OP to realize we do support her.

Jmendez83 · March 2010

I really, truly am sorry to all then. I guess, I'm still new to all this and learning how to adapt and cope with my IF. Thanks again for everyone's advise...please forgive me. ((((hugs)))) to all

jkmcnamara · March 2010

Jmendez83:
I really, truly am sorry to all then. I guess, I'm still new to all this and learning how to adapt and cope with my IF. Thanks again for everyone's advise...please forgive me. ((((hugs)))) to all

It's all good! IF sucks. It's hard to adapt to it. And it takes mourning. IF is different for us all. Some get pregnant quickly after medicines or whatever. Some get pregnant after several years. And some, like me, will never get pregnant and go the adoption route. But either way, IF is hard.

Me&Mr.T · March 2010

I'm sorry for your loss. No m/c is "only" one m/c. It is still a loss that was anticipated and looked forward to. IF is difficult and it is hard to realize that you need to go through treatments to have a baby when others around don't have to go through all of that and spend all of the money and deal with all of the heartache. It is hard no matter how long you have been trying, although there are girls on this board who have been trying cycle after cycle year after year. It is hard to see a post like this, but this board is supposed to be here for support no matter what stage of IF you are in.

I was on Clomid and it did nothing for me, so I can't really give much advice on it other than to make sure you are monitored while you are on it.

((HUGS)) IF sucks!

jkmcnamara · March 2010

Me&Mr.T:
I'm sorry for your loss. No m/c is "only" one m/c. It is still a loss that was anticipated and looked forward to. IF is difficult and it is hard to realize that you need to go through treatments to have a baby when others around don't have to go through all of that and spend all of the money and deal with all of the heartache. It is hard no matter how long you have been trying, although there are girls on this board who have been trying cycle after cycle year after year. It is hard to see a post like this, but this board is supposed to be here for support no matter what stage of IF you are in.
I was on Clomid and it did nothing for me, so I can't really give much advice on it other than to make sure you are monitored while you are on it.
((HUGS)) IF sucks!

I didn't mean that OP was any less or should feel any less because she's had one m/c. That's still one too many. What I meant was more it can take a while and you have to be stronger than IF.

Sorry if I offended anyone...I should have made that a bit more clear Embarrassed

Me&Mr.T · March 2010

jkmcnamara:
Me&Mr.T:
I'm sorry for your loss. No m/c is "only" one m/c. It is still a loss that was anticipated and looked forward to. IF is difficult and it is hard to realize that you need to go through treatments to have a baby when others around don't have to go through all of that and spend all of the money and deal with all of the heartache. It is hard no matter how long you have been trying, although there are girls on this board who have been trying cycle after cycle year after year. It is hard to see a post like this, but this board is supposed to be here for support no matter what stage of IF you are in.
I was on Clomid and it did nothing for me, so I can't really give much advice on it other than to make sure you are monitored while you are on it.
((HUGS)) IF sucks!
I didn't mean that OP was any less or should feel any less because she's had one m/c. That's still one too many. What I meant was more it can take a while and you have to be stronger than IF.
Sorry if I offended anyone...I should have made that a bit more clear

I know you didn't, but it still invalidated her feelings about her loss and probably made her feel like it was less of a loss, or that she shouldn't be as sad because it was only one and it happened right away, rather than after years. I know you were meaning well, but it came across hurtful. Support on this board is so necessary because of the pain we all suffer. This girl is just starting out and really needs to see that the support is there.

jkmcnamara · March 2010

Me&Mr.T:
jkmcnamara:
Me&Mr.T:
I'm sorry for your loss. No m/c is "only" one m/c. It is still a loss that was anticipated and looked forward to. IF is difficult and it is hard to realize that you need to go through treatments to have a baby when others around don't have to go through all of that and spend all of the money and deal with all of the heartache. It is hard no matter how long you have been trying, although there are girls on this board who have been trying cycle after cycle year after year. It is hard to see a post like this, but this board is supposed to be here for support no matter what stage of IF you are in.
I was on Clomid and it did nothing for me, so I can't really give much advice on it other than to make sure you are monitored while you are on it.
((HUGS)) IF sucks!
I didn't mean that OP was any less or should feel any less because she's had one m/c. That's still one too many. What I meant was more it can take a while and you have to be stronger than IF.
Sorry if I offended anyone...I should have made that a bit more clear
I know you didn't, but it still invalidated her feelings about her loss and probably made her feel like it was less of a loss, or that she shouldn't be as sad because it was only one and it happened right away, rather than after years. I know you were meaning well, but it came across hurtful. Support on this board is so necessary because of the pain we all suffer. This girl is just starting out and really needs to see that the support is there.

Yeah, totally not my intent...I'm sorry, OP. I really wasn't trying to be hurtful at all.

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