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Feeling oppressed by the breast pump (longish)

iona76iona76 member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

So, before I had my babies, I was convinced I would breastfeed exclusively for a year. Then my girls came really early (33 weeks), did a few weeks in the NICU, and my milk was slow to come in (my body wasn't ready). Plus the girls needed to be on higher calorie formula to gain weight, so anything I could give them needed to be fortified and bottle fed.

I met with a lactation consultant after both girls were home, and I was told to pump every two hours to increase my supply. The girls eat every three hours and it takes about an hour or so to feed each of them, so two hours per feeding. Logistically, the pumping thing just isn't something I feel I can do!

I do pump when I can---typically I just get to it once a day!--and give them what I can (usu. about four oz.). But I'm feeling tremendous guilt about mostly formula feeding. I was a formula-fed baby, and so was my husband. Still I feel so much pressure to breastfeed! I mean, they really drill it into you!!!

I just needed to reach out and see if anyone shares this frustration and feels like throwing in the towel. Or throwing in the breast pump, I guess.

 

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Re: Feeling oppressed by the breast pump (longish)

  • Carmela752Carmela752

    Dude, I totally could have written this post. Mine were born at 35w2d and went home with me 5 days after the c section (in the NICU during that time.)

    I pump about 4 times a day, and it kills me. I get enough milk for 2 4 oz bottles per day for each baby.

    I'm hoping to keep it up through RSV season, but we'll see. I'm on Reglan right now to increase my supply, and that's probably the only reason I'm getting as much as I am.

    I think all bets are off with twins, seriously. It's nice if it works out to actually breastfeed, but pumping and bottle feeding is twice as time consuming...as are twins. Mine also take about an hour per each baby to eat, so I totally feel your pain!

    Just got done feeding them for the past 2 hours, as a matter of fact. I know I should be trying to sleep now, but I know I'll sleep for an hour before one will wake up to eat again, so what's the point?!

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  • RVAYoginiRVAYogini
    Can you feed both at the same time? That helps me tremendously. I prop both babies up with bottles on either side of me. With burping and everything, it takes about 30 minutes for them both to eat (they eat about 3-4oz of pumped breastmilk each feeding). Usually, they nap at least an hour each 3-hour feeding cycle, so that's when I pump. And I've figured out how to nap and pump. Or bump and pump!
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  • MarthaP18MarthaP18 member
    I completely understand. I felt like a slave to the pump when I was BFing. BFing itself is pretty time-consuming, but then to pump every time the baby gives you a break is killer. You can't get ANYTHING else done or take a much-needed nap. I never quite got the hang of getting it all done while BFing and pumping. I felt an incredible amount of freedom when I stopped BFing.
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  • calahrcalahr member
    I cannot imagine what you are going thru with feeding and pumping for 2 babies!  I am an EPer since my daughter was born 4 weeks early and was not able to breastfeed effectively.  We have tried repeatedly to get her to breastfeed and now that she is able she just plain refuses.  I hate my pump!  I pump anywhere from 6 to 8 times a day for 20 minutes each and hate every minute of it.  I actually decided last week to switch to formula since I will be going back to work in 2 weeks.  However, I cannot bring myself to stop pumping.  She is getting one or two forumla bottles a day to start getting her used to it but I am still pumping just as much and adding to my freezer stash.  I am now considering at least giving it a try when I go back to work to see how it goes.  I am like you though and feel guilty about giving my LO formula when I am perfectly able to produce enough breastmilk for her.  My advice is you just have to do what is best for you and your family!  Your little ones will do just fine on formula.  Everyone keeps telling me that a happy mom = happy baby (or babies in your case)!  Best of luck!!!!
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  • megnjasmegnjas member

    I know it's a hard decision to throw in the pump, but you need to do what is best for you.  We all know breast milk is gold, and I felt good about myself pumping while DD was in the NICU.  Never got to really breastfeed her in the NICU since she wasn't down with eating.  I also didn't pump effectivley, just during the day and would sleep at night.

    I also was not eating or drinking enough to breastfeed effectivley.  Also was going through a rough time with DH.  Found out he was Type 1 diabetic a week after DD was home, so it was a little rough and I just threw the pump in and she is formula fed.

    I still felt guilty for weeks for 1.  not pumping and 2.  wasting the $$ on a pump.  But, I'm going to hold on to it and try again if we try for another baby.

    No matter what you decide, you are a GREAT mom!!  :) 

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  • Mrs. RFJOHNSONMrs. RFJOHNSON
    I'm totally with you!  I'm about to throw in the pump as well!  I've been EP since 2 weeks and my nipples have had it!  I've had two rounds of mastistis that were miserable and thought I would die!  My nipples bleed and are so painful!  I know the BM is best for her but its killing me!  I'm trying to slowly wean myself off of it but I feel like its a drug!  Actually, just guilt since I know I have the milk, its just gotten too painful to pump it out!  Its nice to know I'm not the only one feeling a little guilty, but wer'e all doing the best we can!!  Good luck! 
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