New to adoption

fish_n_baby · March 2010

Good afternoon all, I wanted to take a moment and introduce myself. I'm old to the Knot, Nest ect. new here. DH and I have lost three babies. I have an incompetent cervix. We've lost at 21, 17 and 22 weeks along. Recently (on Monday the 1st) My OB's office contacted me with a surprising question. How would we feel about adopting? We weren't sure it's not something we had thought about yet because we weren't ready to admit defeat yet. After thinking about it for a couple of days, DH and I have decided babies are heaven sent no matter how the arrive on earth. So we have decided to adopt, our OB's office has a young girl who isn't ready to be a mother. She is due March the 20th our house is completely turned upside down trying to get things in order for the home study and nursery. We of course know that she can change her mind so instead of buying were borrowing until it's a sure thing and then when he's home with us we will make more permenant arrangements. But this is taking a toll on my sanity for sure. And I can't imagine how much steel the woman here must be made of to be going through this for months and years I only found out a week ago that ours in due in 2 weeks and I'm loosing my mind.

THE BEST OF LUCK TO EVERYONE HERE.

Temp206787500007404 · March 2010

Best of luck to you.

The only advice I can give to you is to make sure that you and your husband are receiving appropriate counseling (with a counselor familiar with both IF, PL and adoption) AND that the birthmother is also receiving counseling. If this is a private non-agency adoption, please make sure she has the appropriate post-birth counseling resources available to her (if your state allows you to pay for them or if you need to help her find resources through the state/county post-adoption connection to find free counseling). This is VERY important.

For you and your DH, it is important to make sure you have grieved appropriately in order to accept this placement.

Congratulations!

kirstenw05 · March 2010

Congrats...while it may be unexpected, and yes, you do have to work through emotions and your particular situation, take time to enjoy every moment.

Our DD came completely unexpectedly before DH and I had even a single conversation about adoption, and it has become the best surprise of our lives. Wouldn't change a thing.

Best of luck filling your house with love and baby!

fish_n_baby · March 2010

Thank you!. it is completely unexpected like you said we haven't had the first conversation about adoption, but it was something we both are very excited about. Now just comes the hurry up and wait part. I spoke with our attorney about an hour ago and she is having trouble setting up our home study. Our is happening so quickly we have to stay on top of everything but it's not happening soon enough for me. I'm sure my attorney thinks I'm nuts by now as much as I call her for updates. Whisper