How to 'win' this argument?

Stacyc625 · March 2010

I am so tired right now- and fighting with DH is the last thing i feel like doing. We are both soo busy right now and the last thing that we have time for is home improvements. We agreed that some of our tax return will go into putting new hard wood flooring & carpeting down.

DH wants to do it himself. THAT is a huge nightmare. DH (as much as he won't admit it) is NOT super handy- and things take 8x as long and with 10 x as many trips to Home Depot. We are having four rooms done. I just don't feel like fighting with DH over him doing it. He doesn't have the time- and I do NOT have the patience. I just want this done. I don't want the house turned upside down for weeks on end that it would take him.

I am calling for quotes today- three places on carpeting/hardwood INSTALLED. And then we will sit down and discuss.

I KNOW that he will want to do it on his own- but i just don't have the patience. He isn't the one that is around all day with the house a disaster.

cp760 · March 2010

Sounds exactly like my dh. He wants to save money and do it himself...but he is NOT qualified! If I were you I would just call and get the estimates and when you tell dh about it, make it sound like you are looking out for his best interest "Honey, I know how hard you work and how little free time you have. Why don't we enjoy your free time as a family and not waste it on doing all that strenuous labor on the floor. Let's go out for the day and have a good time and then we can come home and enjoy our beautiful new floors without you having to add any extra stress to your already full schedule. You deserve to relax a little bit and not have to work all the time...." Try to not sound like you don't trust him or that he'll screw it up or that he'll take too long... make it more about how he deserves a little break.

Stacyc625 · March 2010

CP- you crack me up.

that was exactly the approach i was going to take. Let's hope he buys what i am 'selling'

MainelyFoolish · March 2010

Does he have any past projects you can reference? Whenever my DH wants to do something I think he ought not to do, I gently remind him about how some of his other projects have turned out and he'll (reluctantly) agree that hiring a professional is a better option.

Just this weekend DH put together DD's new tricycle with one of the wheels on backwards. I made him take apart and fix it. He's a mechanical engineer, for crying out loud!

susanmosley · March 2010

I think you are doing the right thing. At least it is what I have done multiple times in the past and it worked.

Get the quotes, get everything written out, prepared for comparing.

Figure out how much you would "save" on labor if he did it. Find all of the details (transporting the materials, calculate hours, hauling away all of the original flooring, etc.). If there are options, like what sub-flooring you will use, etc., write out your options - and make this part look extra confusing, just to help with your cause

But seriously, get all of the info, present it logically and show him how the extra $200 for the installation is very very worth it. The installation is really not expensive and like you said, they are a billion times quicker

GL!

yay to new floors!

axr8111 · March 2010

When getting estimates, also get them to give an idea of how long the job will take in hours and work days AND men on the job. Would DH do it by himself? If so he's crazy. My brother and father put in my mom's hard word floors and they had 3 friends helping and it still took forever and my father is very handy. He said that it took them almost the entire job before they figured out the "art" of laying wood floors which is why it took so long. Plus, it hard work on your back. Those wood boards are heavy. Explain that DH can't possibly do it on his own and it's not fair to ask friends or family to help when everyone's lives are busy. Tell him that the money you'd spend to have someone else do it is worth the family time together you would lose if he did the job.

Good luck!! I hope he leaves it to the professionals. Even though my father is handy, I feel like I can tell that their wood floors were not done by professionals. Not worth it.

babypuplove · March 2010

We just had our hardwood floors refinished, and it was a MESS. We had to be out of the house, 24 hours/day, for three days. And that was with professionals doing it. You do NOT want to do any kind of flooring yourself, unless you have the time, which you and your DH don't. Ask him if it is really worth saving a little money (because you will still have to buy the supplies), to turn a two or three day job into a three week, messy headache. Good luck!

Temp174496125006552 · March 2010

I would also take the 'you already work so hard' route and also remind him that these people are professionals who do this day in and day out and can get it done so much quicker than he would be able to (since he'd most likely be doing it on weekends/evenings). GL!

cepcep · March 2010

cp760:
Sounds exactly like my dh. He wants to save money and do it himself...but he is NOT qualified! If I were you I would just call and get the estimates and when you tell dh about it, make it sound like you are looking out for his best interest "Honey, I know how hard you work and how little free time you have. Why don't we enjoy your free time as a family and not waste it on doing all that strenuous labor on the floor. Let's go out for the day and have a good time and then we can come home and enjoy our beautiful new floors without you having to add any extra stress to your already full schedule. You deserve to relax a little bit and not have to work all the time...." Try to not sound like you don't trust him or that he'll screw it up or that he'll take too long... make it more about how he deserves a little break.

?

This EXACTLY! ?I just did the same thing with my DH, he wanted to build a shed. ?Butter him up about how hard he works ?

ariel06 · March 2010

Could you let him pull up the old carpet as a compromise? That takes almost no tools and would save a little money. Otherwise show him what extra costs it would take with all the extra tools and supplies. DH is handy, but some projects are just not economical to do yourself.

Dochas · March 2010

One way I "won" recently was telling him to price the job. We are lucky - my husband is very handy but there are some jobs that he can't do. The job you describe sounds like a LONG one. We would like to finish our basement He can do it, but I don't think it's necessary for a couple of years. I also think it's too much to spend before the baby comes. He was trying to convince me that it would be very inexpensive but I know things often cost more than he thinks when he starts. So I asked him to price it out - including plumbing, electric, etc. Worst case scenario was that he would be right and we'd get our basement. But looking at it he decided it would bebetter to wait. So I'd try that but also get him to lay out the time it would take. It won't bother me if the basement takes a long time but I could not live like that upstairs. I would include him in getting the estimates, though so he doesn't have any resentment.

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